This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
I have followed your blog for several months and appreciate that your posts are educational, with many dashes of humor and candid honesty. I have noted that you enjoy young adult fiction, and I hope to interest you in representing my novel.
Eighteen-year-old Kellen is a Crowmaker, lifted from a bleak existence and turned via magical experimentation into a hero–a law keeper for the expanding Tenvan colonies. When the Crowmakers’ greatest weapons begin to fail and Kellen’s best friend and fellow Crowmaker is killed as a result, Kellen sets out to bring to justice the man she holds responsible, the engineer whose flawed plans and rushed experiments caused the failure. What Kellen finds instead is a dead man, a town under siege from a sentient force of nature with links to her personal plight, and the need to save the life of her enemy’s daughter in order to save her own.
CROWMAKER is a 76,000 word young adult fantasy novel which follows Kellen’s journey through despair and the desire for revenge and along the path to becoming something greater than a made hero–her own person. It is a completed work and available upon your request.
I am also the author of several short stories which have appeared in THE LEADING EDGE (April 2003) and CRICKET MAGAZINE (Dec. 2005), as well as other publications.
Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 13% request rate
The Spidermonkey says
Thank you for your query, which I have considered carefully. However I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to represent you.
YA fantasy is such an overcrowded marketplace that I would only consider something truly distinctive, and I’m afraid your proposal is not sufficiently original.
Please bear in mind this is a personal opinion, and others may see things differently. Good luck!
Aisling says
Dear Author,
I am sorry to inform you that I am not interested in your book. It does not fit with what I am looking for right now so I regret to tell you that, although I appreciated you sending me your query, I would not like to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck with your future writing!
Aisling
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate you sending in your work, but I don’t think its right for me.
Best of luck,
Keith Champaign
Rae Bateman says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.
All the best,
Rae
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I didn’t like it. Try again later.
Backdoor Trojan
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I appreciate the query but your book is not what I am looking for at the moment. However, I wish you luck in getting this book published.
Best regards,
Nathaniel Orange
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I appreciate your time and efforts, but I am sorry to say that I do not wish to represent your story. If you have another story idea, please send it to me in the future, and I would be happy to look at it.
Best Wishes,
Quintus Blackburn
Anonymous says
Dear writer,
I enjoyed your query, but I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this work. I’d love to see more of your writing.
Gloria Valentine
ccallicotte4 says
Thank you for sending me your query for BOOK TITLE. I appreciate you considering me.
I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it, as I feel I would not be the best agent to represent your work. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.
Best of luck to you.
[I was close on this one – but I only have one left!]
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Pursuing Author,
After reviewing your query, I feel that what you have presented to us is just not going to fly in our market right now. Sorry but keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
Pepe Habanera
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I am not interested in your novel. Keep writing, your story had potential but was not for me. Feel free to Query me later with another piece of your work.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
Sorry to say this just didn’t grab me. Good luck with your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Sorry, I guess I’m just up to here with teenagers being annointed to save the universe. Chalk it up to my being a crotchety old man.)
Word Ver: pansoutt. It just doesn’t pansoutt. Better luck next time.
Asherose says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I would like to request the first three chapters at this time. Thank you.
Agent
Reasoning: Every aspect of this query letter is excellent except that I would suggest to remove the first para entirely. The blurb is well written and intriguing, the story looks good with excellent world-building and uniqueness, and the title is fantastic. Definitely want to see this story.
Eva Ulian says
Thank you for your submission but would have preferred a more engaging plot.
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query!
I would like to see more of your story. Please submit the first 50 pages of your manuscript.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
drat says
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query. I gave it careful consideration, but ultimately I concluded I’m not the right agent for the book.
I was unclear on exactly what a CROWMAKER is. If that part of the query was tighter, I might have requested.
Good luck with your manuscript, and query widely!
Thanks,
SDC
Gryph says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put into your work, I don’t believe this is a good fit for me.
Please remember that what doesn’t fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you’ll think of me again.
Sincerely,
Agent Gryph
Anonymous says
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. I encourage you to query other agents and wish you the best of luck.
Thank you,
Agent C
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Note: I would have liked more information about the world in which this is set. I expect you’ll find representation for this novel, as it does have an interesting hook. Good luck!)
Kat says
Sounds interesting- I like the concept of a character being made into a hero from magical experimentation.
Partial request- please send first three chapters.
Thanks!
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
Shannon says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for CROWMAKER for review. Unfortunately, I am not the right person to represent this story. This is a subjective business so another agent may feel differently. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
Nifaerie Noven says
Hi,
Thanks for querying. Although your writing skills are apparent, I can not represent this work. Please keep writing and querying as I am confident that you will get representation soon.
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel Crowmaker.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to My Imaginary Yet Successful Literary Agency. I receive many queries each day, and I request only a small percentage of manuscripts that I’m interested in representing. I have decided not to request one for your book because I don’t feel that I’m intrigued enough to be its best representative.
Should you need resources for querying, finding writing resources and groups, or if you’d like to know more about how I choose manuscripts, please visit (this section of my agency’s website) for more information. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your writing. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider your work.
Warm regards,
Hallie
__________________________________
And if I were fortunate enough to be able to give some feedback to each and every author I declined, I’d note the following:
It kills me that I couldn’t have a top 6, because I would like to see this work. I don’t think you did anything wrong in your query, either, and if your manuscript is what the query promises, I’ll be looking forward to getting a copy and recommending your book to readers I know will be interested. My very best wishes.
Jada says
Form rejection.
Reason: The query is fine, but not in my top five.
Vic K says
Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I’m going to take a pass at this time.
Vic K
Reason; At the end of the day, I wasn’t caught up enough in the concept.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. I can see this being picked up elsewhere, but unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck,
Agent X-9
Anonymous says
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to represent you. Unfortunately this work is not for me. Good luck with your search for representation. Tara Woolpy
Anonymous says
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to represent you. Unfortunately this work is not for me. Good luck with your search for representation. Agent Festus Crapper
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
P.S. I think there might be a story here, but it is difficult to discern. While I understand the difficulties in summarizing a fantasy novel, the synopsis is too vague. I was also left wondering, what is a Crowmaker, and why is that important?
Kendra says
Dear Author,
I’d be interested in seeing more of your work. Please send the first three chapters of Crowmaker for further concideration. I look forward to reading it.
-Kendra
Mari says
Please submit your work in full. You will hear from us by June 30. Thank you for your Query.
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be well conceived, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses. However, after a revision of your query letter and manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
Crystal says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. However, currently, I am sorry to say I must turn down your manuscript. Good luck with other submission endeavors.
Sincerely,
Lit Agent
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – Crowmaker – for my consideration. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this work for you. Best wishes for your future endeavours. Agent Rik.
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I’m afraid I have to pass at this time.
Good luck with your writing.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
ludwig snarf says
sorry….
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me. Good luck with your continued search for literary representation.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
(Reasoning: Nothing about the plot really jumped out at me. It read like just another story about revenge. If the query had included more details about what a “Crowmaker” was, I might have requested pages, but as it is, it wasn’t enough to draw me in.)