Writers aren’t generally known as the happiest lot. As a recent Guardian survey of some top writers shows, even the best ones don’t particularly enjoy it all that much. And in case you think this is a new development, an 1842 letter from Edgar Allen Poe to his publisher recently surfaced in which he was found apologizing for drinking so much and begging for money.
But believe it or not, writing and happiness can, in fact, go together. Here are ten ways for a writer to stay positive:
1. Enjoy the present.
Writers are dreamers, and dreamers tend to daydream about the future while concocting wildly optimistic scenarios that involve bestsellerdom, riches, and interviews with Ryan Seacrest. In doing so they forget to enjoy the present. I call this the “if only” game. You know how it goes: if only I could find an agent, then I’ll be happy. When you have an agent, then it becomes: if only I could get published, then I’ll be happy. And so on. The only way to stay sane in the business is to enjoy every step as you’re actually experiencing it. Happiness is not around the bend. It’s found in the present. Because writing is pretty great — otherwise why are you doing it?
2. Maintain your integrity.
With frustration comes temptation. It’s tempting to try and beat the system, whether that’s by having someone else write your query, lying to the people you work with, or, you know, concocting the occasional fake memoir. This may even work in the short term, but unless you are Satan incarnate (and I hope you’re not) it will steadily chip away at your happiness and confidence, and your heart will shrivel and blacken into something they show kids in health class to scare them away from smoking. Don’t do it.
3. Recognize the forces that are outside of your control.
While it’s tempting to think that it’s all your fault if your book doesn’t sell, or your agent’s fault or the industry’s fault or the fault of a public that just doesn’t recognize your genius, a lot of times it’s just luck not going your way. Chance is BIG in this business. Huge. Gambling has nothing on the incredibly delicate and complex calculus that results in a book taking off. Bow before the whims of fate, because chance is more powerful than you and your agent combined.
4. Don’t neglect your friends and family.
No book is worth losing a friend, losing a spouse, losing crucial time with your children. Hear me? NO book is worth it. Not one. Not a bestseller, not a passion project, nothing. Friends and family first. THEN writing. Writing is not an excuse to neglect your friends and family. Unless you don’t like them very much.
5. Don’t Quit Your Day Job.
Quitting a job you need to pay the bills in order to write a novel is like selling your house and putting the proceeds into a lottery ticket. You don’t have to quit your job to write. There is time in the day. You may have to sacrifice your relaxation time or sleep time or reality television habit, but there is time. You just have to do it.
6. Keep up with publishing industry news.
It may seem counterintuitive to follow the news of a business in which layoffs currently constitute the bulk of headlines. But it behooves you to keep yourself informed. You’ll be happier (and more successful) if you know what you’re doing.
7. Reach out to fellow writers.
No one knows how hard it is to write other than other people who have tried to do it themselves. Their company is golden. If you’re reading this it means you have an Internet connection. Reach out and touch a writer. And plus, the Internet allows you to reach out to writers without smelling anyone’s coffee breath.
8. Park your jealousy at the door.
Writing can turn ordinary people into raving lunatics when they start to believe that another author’s success is undeserved. Do not begrudge other writers their success. They’ve earned it. Even if they suck.
9. Be thankful for what you have.
If you have the time to write you’re doing pretty well. There are millions of starving people around the world, and they’re not writing because they’re starving. If you’re writing: you’re doing just fine. Appreciate it.
10. Keep writing.
Didn’t find an agent? Keep writing. Book didn’t sell? Keep writing. Book sold? Keep writing. OMG an asteroid is going to crash into Earth and enshroud the planet in ten feet of ash? Keep writing. People will need something to read in the resulting permanent winter.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and consultations! And if you like this post, check out my guide to writing a novel.
Art: Moses and the Ten Commandments by Rembrandt
You realize, I hope, that number 3 and number 8 are sort of mutually exclusive. If they earned it, then there’s an element of non-luck involved. If it’s luck, then they didn’t really earn it. Some success is just too big to believe that anyone could ever ‘earn’ it.
This is awesome! I run a blog for a group of mommy writers, do you mind if I post this on there, with credit to you of course? Jenni
jenni-
Definitely. I just ask for a link back. I appreciate it!
Thanks! You’re the best. There already is a link to you on the site, but I’ll make sure it’s in the post too. Jenni
BEST. POST. EVER!
Awesome, Nathan!
Will try.
Dear Nathan,
I got very useful tips thru this. its a very informative blog.
there are certain things in life that we cant recognize and we have to be…
Thanks…keep writing for us…
thank you! this is so refreshingly grounded.
It’s going to take me awhile to chisel this onto the stone tablets.
Thanks.
Done.
https://mormonmommywriters.blogspot.com/
Thanks again, for the use of your article! You’re awesome! Jenni
I’m a little late, but thanks for the great list, Nathan. I said a little Amen after each one. 😉 Re: Asteroid comment, I’m also thinking you read Life As We Knew It by Susan Beth Pfeffer. Love that book.
Found this through Writer’s Digest and glad I did. Was frustrated that I might have to go the agent route and have no clue where to even begin. This helped me relish in the milestones I’ve already encountered.
Thanks!
Man, your parents did a good job. Pass on the praise.
Nathan:
Your positivity week is fabulous! And the Ten Commandments should be tattooed on every writer's forearm. Thanks!
Kae, KT Public Relations & Literary Services
I believe I’m a naturally happy writer. I write, I enjoy writing (if I wasn’t writing I’d just spend that time reading!), and if I’m lucky I get paid. Sounds pretty good to me 🙂
Man, I needed to read that. Especially #1.
I’m guessing that if I just got around to reading this post from March 5th in my blog reader and it’s now March 31st that I’m probably in violation of a bunch of these Commandments, but I’m going to start out April with a new, fresh perspective thanks to this post. So thanks, Nathan, for reminding us of the things we forget 🙂
I needed to read this at this exact second. My work was blatantly copied twice this week and I was letting it affect me.
Thanks very much. It takes great awareness to write with such clarity.
Sharon
Whoops, only just found this but the timing is perfect anyway! Thanks Nathan, I’m hooked.
And re #8 – I LOVE it when sucky writing gets success, especially if the reason it sucks is poor structure, weak story, unclear narrative, boring characters or any of the other writing flaws.
That way, the little voice of paranoia in my head that says everyone in the world writes better than I is, for a time, silenced.
After all, if THAT got published, there is still hope for me! 🙂
Thank you, Nathan.
This has been the worst day. My first time to your blog. I don’t generally do blogs. This was truly a gift. Sometimes all one needs is simply a kind person to wave along the way.
Thank you for the wave.
Gillian
Sorry, I had a huge typo in the last comment.
I’m glad I found this today. It was exactly what I needed to read.
Thanks for the positive words, Nathan.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m glad to see that there’s possitive influence at work here. I’m totally going to be hooked to your blogs you know… if only you were into fantasy. {sigh}
Justine
Nathan, do you have any idea what a gem your blog is – especially to an aspiring author, who has had no formal education in writing (double-majored in chemistry and mathematics in college), and did not speak English until she was fifteen years old? In case you did not know, IT IS! I have learned so much from your blog. Thank YOU!!
You just made my day. I was deeply afraid that I was turning into another Sylvia Plath at the age of nineteen, minus the gas stove incident.
Just found your blog today. I appreciate your candor and experience… so helpful. My name's Chris and it's nice to meet you.
This made my day, Nathan. Absolutely true on all counts.
Bobby
That is the best advice I have ever recieved as a writer. Thank you. And thank you for the prompt reply to my query this morning.
Best of wishes,
Jael
Nathan, you are the best!!!!!!
Thank you for this! I recently sent you a query (which you very immediately but politely rejected) and it's so easy to take these things personally, when really, a large amount of chance and lucks goes into the process of getting published. Having read other agents blogs as well as yours, yours is the one I check almost daily because you truly seem to care about writers as opposed to implying that they are a necessary evil.
*great sigh of delight*
Excellent positivity and perspective. I'm one of the 49% of mentally ill creative types out there (still JUST in a minority, though, which makes us special. . .).
Writing is a weird career with a lot of failure – but it's just so FUN I can't stop 🙂
want more fun?
follow my two month pirate story written just for twitter (preview post is there, but it doesn't start until August 1 2009):
https://twitter.com/Louise_Curtis_
The strange things is that in a sense, writing, being a spiritual vocation (or at least it should be) should cause those conclusions to emerge naturally.
It seems that it has become fashionable to talk of the writing being a hateful business for a number of contemporary writers. It may be that this is true for some, but the whole bandwagon effect makes me suspicious. Writing is not easy, not by any means, but that and hating it is not the same thing. Among the many other reasons why one writes is a key reason and that is that one depends upon it. For happiness and for sanity. If it is so bad, why do it?
Of course none of what I say is meant to detract from your excellent post. Kudos.
this is fantastic – found via twitter. read number one and found myself laughing and nodding in agreement.
What a shameless load of butt kissers.
Hello
I'm a new writer, and these commandments are something I will read often.
Thanks Mr. Bransford
MJ
https://mjsmithbooks.weebly.com/index.html
I do have coffee breath…
"OMG an asteroid is going to crash into Earth and enshroud the planet in ten feet of ash? Keep writing. People will need something to read in the resulting permanent winter."
— absolutely loved it :]
Thanks for this post. I've been having problems with remaining optimistic.
Nathan, Thank you for the reality check.
Dear Nathan,
What can I possibly add? This is so good, I wish I'd said it.
Peace and continued good things for you.
Sincerely,
Diane
I've just visited your blog for the first time. Great commandments :)!
Nathan, this is off topic: new format looks great, but I'm a bit dismayed to see there's no longer a search window for us to pull up posts about particular topics/key words… Any chance of changing that?
I agree that aspiring writers should reach out to other writers. Especially those who’ve written books they hated.
I read a book I didn’t like and I contacted the author to let him know and to also say that his tedious, philosophical novel actually inspired me to be a better writer in that it showed me how I should not write. He replied to say he was happy that at least his book was good for something. I thought it was nice of him to reply. But when I tried to reach out to him again he didn’t respond. Too bad. I knew there were a few things I could learn from him. I was even going to ask: when you receive negative comments like mine, do they make you want to reach through your computer and slap the persons who send them?
Nathan, you make me laugh, thanks!
The writers profession is a solitary endeavor but it doesn't have to be lonely 🙂 we are all in this boat together.
I LOVE positive people!
New to your blog, but finding all of the information tremendously helpful. The commandments are terrific!
I decided to stop here as well, since I was already in the neighborhood.
Don't panic. I rarely wear hats and lost my sunglasses in Europe.
You are the person I choose to thank today.
I have heard/read many times over that publishing is a ruthless business.
Thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge. Your posts are extremely enjoyable and helpful. Really helpful (If I knew HTML, "really" would be italicized).
You distinguish yourself from other agents, and I thought you should know. 🙂
Now this is why being a writer is so cool. Other people, mere mortals, are forbidden from lying, stealing, killing and committing adultery; all writers have to do is stuff like keeping up with publishing news, reaching out to fellow writers, and parking their jealousy at the door.
Despite this I still find that I have sinned. I quit the day job and neglect my friends and family – I moved to Thailand to write. I'm doing ok with 1 thru 3, 8,9, and 10, especially number 1.
I feel number 10, keep writing, needs amending to: keep writing on one project and do not start more than three other projects until you have finished at least one.
My curse seems to be pushing a rock up hill, once I overcome inertia and actually get it moving I spot another rock that desperately needs pushing to the summit, I switch rocks. Rock number one doesn't roll back down but it does lose all momentum. Once rock two is moving all of a sudden rock 3 appears far more pressing…
I find it very hard to understand writers who say they are stuck for inspiration. It's not that I wish I had less, I just wish I could impose some kind of order on it. Maybe a kind of idea traffic control system, where highly skilled individuals could keep ideas in a holding pattern until they can safely be handled, all the while keeping an eye on their fuel supply, ensuring they don't fall to the ground prematurely.
I have this fantasy that one day I will actually finish a book and I will enjoy the feeling so much, I will have this surge of directed energy, finishing all my other projects, amazing and astounding my agent and publisher not just with the quality of my work – they will already be in awe of my genius from reading my first completed piece – but with the sheer quantity of completed projects I am able to deliver…
But back to a reality. Time to go for a foot massage (one hour $4 inc tip) before settling down to my 6 hour writing day.
Enjoy your day jobs. I enjoy not having one even more now I know its against the rules.
About number 8, I often haterize people but I dont think its jealosy, but genuine disdane for some of the absoute rubish that finds its way inside my house via the aqueducts known as my wife and daughter. Twilight…GAG.
Very positive!! Except the asteroid part…I guess I better write faster!
Hi, I self-publlshed through Amazon's print-on-demand program, learned a lot and discovered I could promote more than I'd thought. I ended up enjoying it and would do it again.
All it cost was the $39.95 that allowed me to price my book low and the cost of the books. I recouped all this from sales with minimal marketing. I still get unsolicited, overwhelmingly positive, feedback, to the point where I'm about to start looking for a traditional publisher.
Thanks for the reminder. I was seriously violating 1, 3, and 4. I needed to be recalibrated.
Really liked your ten commandments! The thing on the guardian was really good too, but quite a few weren't as positive as yours… Richard Ford for example said, "don't have children."(!!!!)
I wrote my own list of ten rules for writers, even though, relative to a lot of people on here, I guess I'm just starting out.
https://plumbobrainier.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/top-10-writing-tips-in-the-world%E2%80%A6-ever-vol-42-expressed-as-pushy-exclamatory-imperatives/