Writers aren’t generally known as the happiest lot. As a recent Guardian survey of some top writers shows, even the best ones don’t particularly enjoy it all that much. And in case you think this is a new development, an 1842 letter from Edgar Allen Poe to his publisher recently surfaced in which he was found apologizing for drinking so much and begging for money.
But believe it or not, writing and happiness can, in fact, go together. Here are ten ways for a writer to stay positive:
1. Enjoy the present.
Writers are dreamers, and dreamers tend to daydream about the future while concocting wildly optimistic scenarios that involve bestsellerdom, riches, and interviews with Ryan Seacrest. In doing so they forget to enjoy the present. I call this the “if only” game. You know how it goes: if only I could find an agent, then I’ll be happy. When you have an agent, then it becomes: if only I could get published, then I’ll be happy. And so on. The only way to stay sane in the business is to enjoy every step as you’re actually experiencing it. Happiness is not around the bend. It’s found in the present. Because writing is pretty great — otherwise why are you doing it?
2. Maintain your integrity.
With frustration comes temptation. It’s tempting to try and beat the system, whether that’s by having someone else write your query, lying to the people you work with, or, you know, concocting the occasional fake memoir. This may even work in the short term, but unless you are Satan incarnate (and I hope you’re not) it will steadily chip away at your happiness and confidence, and your heart will shrivel and blacken into something they show kids in health class to scare them away from smoking. Don’t do it.
3. Recognize the forces that are outside of your control.
While it’s tempting to think that it’s all your fault if your book doesn’t sell, or your agent’s fault or the industry’s fault or the fault of a public that just doesn’t recognize your genius, a lot of times it’s just luck not going your way. Chance is BIG in this business. Huge. Gambling has nothing on the incredibly delicate and complex calculus that results in a book taking off. Bow before the whims of fate, because chance is more powerful than you and your agent combined.
4. Don’t neglect your friends and family.
No book is worth losing a friend, losing a spouse, losing crucial time with your children. Hear me? NO book is worth it. Not one. Not a bestseller, not a passion project, nothing. Friends and family first. THEN writing. Writing is not an excuse to neglect your friends and family. Unless you don’t like them very much.
5. Don’t Quit Your Day Job.
Quitting a job you need to pay the bills in order to write a novel is like selling your house and putting the proceeds into a lottery ticket. You don’t have to quit your job to write. There is time in the day. You may have to sacrifice your relaxation time or sleep time or reality television habit, but there is time. You just have to do it.
6. Keep up with publishing industry news.
It may seem counterintuitive to follow the news of a business in which layoffs currently constitute the bulk of headlines. But it behooves you to keep yourself informed. You’ll be happier (and more successful) if you know what you’re doing.
7. Reach out to fellow writers.
No one knows how hard it is to write other than other people who have tried to do it themselves. Their company is golden. If you’re reading this it means you have an Internet connection. Reach out and touch a writer. And plus, the Internet allows you to reach out to writers without smelling anyone’s coffee breath.
8. Park your jealousy at the door.
Writing can turn ordinary people into raving lunatics when they start to believe that another author’s success is undeserved. Do not begrudge other writers their success. They’ve earned it. Even if they suck.
9. Be thankful for what you have.
If you have the time to write you’re doing pretty well. There are millions of starving people around the world, and they’re not writing because they’re starving. If you’re writing: you’re doing just fine. Appreciate it.
10. Keep writing.
Didn’t find an agent? Keep writing. Book didn’t sell? Keep writing. Book sold? Keep writing. OMG an asteroid is going to crash into Earth and enshroud the planet in ten feet of ash? Keep writing. People will need something to read in the resulting permanent winter.
Need help with your book? I’m available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and consultations! And if you like this post, check out my guide to writing a novel.
Art: Moses and the Ten Commandments by Rembrandt
Denise Eagan says
Nathan, thank you. For the list and Positivity Week. I think a lot of us really needed it.
irishoma says
Excellent post! What wonderful and uplifting advice; you should write a book.
Em says
My previous comment makes it sound as though I'm going to ignore your advice & tell big fat porkies about my success. I haven't, honest. I'm polishing the final draft of my MS as we speak/type and then off it will go with a shiny query to the agent at the top of my list. I RSVP'd to the event on the off chance that they would take pity on me…and they have. Hence the freaking out.
The event is about making connections in the industry and the stepping stones to success and a publishing deal. So far so good, only it is being held at a very swanky venue and half the attendees share space on my bookshelves! Scary stuff.
Lupina says
All so very true. The ones I second most heartily? Keep the freaking day job, and do not neglect family and friends. Both will support, sustain and nourish you through the inevitable hard lumps on the road to your own rainbow connection.
Tricia says
Commandment number 13.
Don’t write on the 13th–it’s bad luck.
Kristin Laughtin says
Great post, and useful for both writers and their non-writing friends. I’m a big advocate of #1. Yes, my goal is to work toward publication one day, but it’s nice to be able to still enjoy writing as a hobby right now, one I could choose to engage in as much or as little as I wish without worrying about deadlines or rejections or reader reaction. #3 and 5 are great for dealing with friends and family who think I should submit now and become and instant bestseller, and #6 is one of the best things I’ve done since deciding to pursue this path.
zasus says
Commandment 13 exception:
Always write on Friday the 13th if you are a Horror writer or one of those special people who sneers in the face of superstition!
(some of our BEST writers!!)
(zasus)
m clement hall says
Nathan, I took the liberty of putting an abbreviated version of this on the Authonomy Forum, together with your url and a strong suggestion anyone seriously interested in writing should follow your blog.
I hope that’s okay.
If not, I can wipe it.
best wishes,
mch
Whirlochre says
Oh you great big hairy orange throbber, you.
Humungoids cast into voids.
Jen says
Nathan Bransford said…
I don’t even think it’s worth begrudging Paris Hilton. If you want her success and everything that comes with it (including that book deal)…. uh, more power to you, but it probably says more about you than her.
Whoa! I don’t begrudge her, nor would I want her life. I like my own life! I probably should have read all the comments before commenting, but I just picked up on the potato man’s comment and agreed that not everyone who has a book with their name on it actually wrote it.
*backs out of the room cautiously*
jil says
Nathan= Thank you for making even me think that publishing on-line might not be the horror I thought it was. Also showing us that an agent can have a heart! And making us smile…
Why does your message come into my mailbox so much later than into everyone else’s?
Marjory Bancroft says
Nathan Bransford, your post offended me.
Deeply.
In the midst of positivity week, no less.
Some of us consider ourselves persons of integrity. Not perfect but real. Road-tested. Put to the flame. And in this post you equate writers who dare pay someone to write a query letter with Satan incarnate. (Well, technically you write: “2. Maintain your integrity. With frustration comes temptation. It’s tempting to try and beat the system, whether that’s by having someone else write your query, lying to the people you work with, or, you know, concocting the occasional fake memoir.” THEN you mention Satan incarnate.)
ARGH! To be associated in the same breath with inveterate liars and memoir fakers! (Never mind Satan.)
I respectfully ask you to apologize. As a loyal reader.
I am the Satan-ette who once dared post here, under my real name, about paying a professional years ago to rewrite a query. It took a bit of courage by the way, to say so in a public forum. Your comments and personal response piqued me into deciding never to borrow from that rewritten query again (and the YA agent I’d hooked for another book was from a transom query I wrote myself). But the lessons learned from the pro, years ago, taught me a lot that my writers’ groups didn’t. For example, keep the query lean. And as you say, spend less time talking about us and more about the book. (The pro was right, as you are.)
Nathan, rescue my good name from the muck. No integrity! We wonder what’s next. Perhaps having feedback on one’s query from a writer’s group will be deemed unethical. Or using knowledge gained from a fellow writer to recraft our proposal package will be condemned. Or—may the sensitive avert their eyes—having a PUBLISHED WRITER refer us to her agent… Heavens forfend!
At least agents are the bastions of integrity.
I will now withdraw to the ranks of the lowly and unwashed. Those naked among us, stripped of our integrity.
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Thank you.
Lucinda says
By now, Nathan, your hat should be fitting a bit tight. But it is all well deserved! I have enjoyed this week’s blogs the most since first lurking around these parts.
Your points are very valid.
It is not always easy in this modern world to be content, but content is where we should be when we are writing.
One thing…it is often the times we think our world is falling apart, things couldn’t be worse, or that the “end of the world isn’t coming fast enough,” that we can find new perspectives and understandings that the blue skies could never give us. David Morrell said that a bad childhood is a goldmine. It can be, but only if we make it a positive, not a negative thing.
Thank you for all the news, great ideas, inside perspectives and your witty humor, too.
Nathan Bransford says
Marjory-
I’ve never said that people can’t or shouldn’t get help with their query, whether that’s feedback from a support group or a paid service. I just want to hear from authors in their own words and don’t believe authors should misrepresent their work.
Nathan Bransford says
Jen-
Oops!! I didn’t mean “you” in the sense of “YOU clearly want Paris Hilton’s career,” I meant “you” in the hypothetical sense, as in, someone else “if someone wants, etc. etc.” Sorry. That comment wasn’t directed at you personally, just making a general point.
Cassandra says
If we didn’t have these bad times, how would we have the appreciation of the good times? The only way we can go from rock bottom is up!
Laura D says
Great post, Nathan. I’d add keep the old chin up and plug on in my personal list.
Jen says
Nathan Bransford said…
Jen-
Oops!! I didn’t mean “you” in the sense of “YOU clearly want Paris Hilton’s career,” I meant “you” in the hypothetical sense, as in, someone else “if someone wants, etc. etc.” Sorry. That comment wasn’t directed at you personally, just making a general point.
Haha, that’s OK. I was just thinking OMG am I giving off some weird Paris-wannabe vibe? Is it all the OMGs?
All’s well that end’s well, though! And, I don’t think you should retract your statment about writers having integrity. I wholeheartedly agree.
Marla Taviano says
This is delightful.
Kathy Kulig says
Excellent advice Nathan. We need that positive slap up side the head now and then. Thank you!
Best, Kathy http://www.kathykulig.com
a kelly says
Thanks for the encouragement and the reality check. This sometimes negative writer thanks you!
Writer from Hell says
Wow! Those are the ten commandments really! Point no. 9 really puts things in perspective. Your writing is like rushing gurgling water refreshing and energising all around!
You are superb….Mr. Brown (yours truly, WfH)
James says
That was well written and very good. Maybe you should forget the day job and become a writer yourself. lol You’d be a good one.
Anonymous says
I suggest rewriting rule 5 to read:
Rule 5) Expatriate. Leave the country! By living overseas somewhere cheap, you can devote all your time to writing, plus the foreign landscape will give you something interesting to write about.
D. Michael Olive says
Nathan,
Very insightful. I never wanted to be Hemingway, just wanted to have some fun and entertain. My wife calls it my midlife crisis but she loves it. She told me some men by expensive cars, some have affairs, I write. And she knows if I disappear for a while, I’m in my office creating world disasters to be solved by my protagonist. My kids tell me as they read my books, they can tell when I’ve had a bad day because I usually kill off somebody violently. For me, it’s a great stress reliever. Thanks again.
Mike
D. Michael Olive says
Nathan,
Very insightful. I never wanted to be Hemingway, just wanted to have some fun and entertain. My wife calls it my midlife crisis but she loves it. She told me some men buy expensive cars, some have affairs, I write. And she knows if I disappear for a while, I’m in my office creating world disasters to be solved by my protagonist. My kids tell me as they read my books, they can tell when I’ve had a bad day because I usually kill off somebody violently. For me, it’s a great stress reliever. Thanks again.
Mike
Carolyn Matkowsky says
Thank you, Nathan. This is a great post and just what I needed to yank me from the writing doldrums.
candicekennington says
Hear, Hear!
Thomma Lyn says
*grin*, these are wise, wonderful, witty, and true. Thanks!
Moose says
Nathan, I’m sorry for drinking so much. Could you please send me some money?
Renee Collins says
Love, love, love this post, Nathan. Thanks so much!
I am totally a fan of this optimism week idea of yours. You rock!
TERI REES WANG says
This is right up my alley of the "Be the tree you want to Be" …
"Grounding" meditation I just posted.
We could all use a little toes rooted in the soil, and fingertips reaching high in the sky, ..to get us back in the swing of things. Feel free >
https://terireeswang.blogspot.com/
Karen says
Fantastic commandments. We should all give them a try. Linking to pass on the good news.
Maripat says
Wonderful. Thank you.
Marjory Bancroft says
Nathan,
Thanks so much for the clarification. I’m now bemused.
You write: “Marjory-I’ve never said that people can’t or shouldn’t get help with their query, whether that’s feedback from a support group or a paid service. I just want to hear from authors in their own words and don’t believe authors should misrepresent their work.”
In part I THINK you are distinguishing between ghostwritten vs. rewritten queries. Is that the case?
And if you are using a rewrite (as opposed to feedback from) a paid service, are you then supposed to announce that in the query? We can hardly, in a query, distinguish between sentences we wrote and sentences that a paid service wrote… So you’re saying we cannot use said paid-for sentences without sacrificing our integrity? (I swear–beats her breast–that these are not rhetorical questions.)
Feeling befuddled.
Steve Fuller says
Scott,
It’s like we share a brain. If you’re ever in Cincinnati, drop me a line and we’ll share a pint or two.
Rowenna says
Love it! And a nuance to #1–enjoy the fact that you can write! There are plenty of people who love to read and have beautiful ideas but aren’t granted the gift of expressing them. When you think about it, the ability and desire to put words down on paper is pretty mind-boggling.
verification: chiestio. Is this the new Cheetos brand tortilla chip hybrid?
Anonymous says
Like lots of other writers, I waste way too much time reading blogs that are often info-lite and unredeeming. Or even worse, downright nasty, leaving a sour aftertaste (agents who reveal what they really think of the punters, e.g.).
Thanks for writing this and redeeming my trip through blog-land today. If I ever teach another creative writing class, you will bet that the kiddos get a copy of this (with credit to you, of course).
lkmadigan says
Why are you so awesome?
🙂
Lisa
Lady Glamis says
Oh, wow, what an awesome post, Nathan! Thank you. 🙂
Damyanti says
This is a great post. Linked to it from my blog, hoping to pass the good word.
Scott says
Scott,
It’s like we share a brain. If you’re ever in Cincinnati, drop me a line and we’ll share a pint or two.
Will do, Steve. And if you’re in Jersey–southern part–give me a shout. In the meantime, I’m planning on getting our brain very drunk tonight so I’d be careful if you’re planning on operating any heavy machinery.
Cheers!
Ellegant says
I just came across your blog and am completely inspired. My day job is the furthest thing from writing, but words are where my heart lies, even if it never brings me money. These are a great reminder that writers start writing because they need to express themselves creativity. Somewhere along the line, however, some lose that passion.
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Damiena says
Fantastic post!
Kerry Gans says
I love these 10 commandments!
I especially believe in not sacrificing friends or family. They ground you in the real world and–if they are like my friends and family–also provide a great deal of fodder to use in your books! Also, having lost people I love, I realize that I can live without a published book, but it is very hard to heal after losing a loved one.
I also advocate reaching out to other writers. My “serious” writing career didn’t start until I met up with the vibrant writing community in the Doylestown, PA area. Being with others who share my passion, and learning from others farther along in their career and craft (and who generously share their knowledge), energizes me. I always leave workshops and meetings there eager to get back to my writing!
Great post – I am enjoying Positivity Week!
Kim Stagliano says
Nathan, hurry up and become a Dad. You’re going to be a damn good one.
Kim
Marwa Ayad says
Your posts are always insightful, Nathan. Keep writing.
I have a question for you (and I would very much appreciate your answer). I’m now a published author, and I live outside the US, so is it easier now for me getting a literary agent for my current manuscript(s)? Just wondering.
Feel free to email me at: mail@marwaayad.com
Thanks again.
Susan Fine says
Thanks so much for all these insights. I read an interview with Michael Chabon a few years back, and I try to keep in mind and apply to my own work what he said about writing. It went something like this, “Writing takes luck, discipline, and talent, and the only thing I can control is the discipline, so I try to be very disciplined.” I really enjoyed hearing that from a writer who I think has lots of talent and yet is modest and wonderfully human and also made clear in that statement the work behind writing. I greatly appreciate your encouragement not to be jealous of others. I’m in a group (classof2k9.com) of debut middle grade and ya authors, and it’s been a wonderful experience to collaborate, the 22 of us, on getting the word out about our books. Thanks so much for this post!
lettersfromlordship says
Re No. 2 — I just bet you’d sign up to rep Satan incarnate, if he queried you with his memoir!
Great commandments. Thanks.