Writers aren’t generally known as the happiest lot. As a recent Guardian survey of some top writers shows, even the best ones don’t particularly enjoy it all that much. And in case you think this is a new development, an 1842 letter from Edgar Allen Poe to his publisher recently surfaced in which he was found apologizing for drinking so much and begging for money.
But believe it or not, writing and happiness can, in fact, go together. Here are ten ways for a writer to stay positive:
1. Enjoy the present.
Writers are dreamers, and dreamers tend to daydream about the future while concocting wildly optimistic scenarios that involve bestsellerdom, riches, and interviews with Ryan Seacrest. In doing so they forget to enjoy the present. I call this the “if only” game. You know how it goes: if only I could find an agent, then I’ll be happy. When you have an agent, then it becomes: if only I could get published, then I’ll be happy. And so on. The only way to stay sane in the business is to enjoy every step as you’re actually experiencing it. Happiness is not around the bend. It’s found in the present. Because writing is pretty great — otherwise why are you doing it?
2. Maintain your integrity.
With frustration comes temptation. It’s tempting to try and beat the system, whether that’s by having someone else write your query, lying to the people you work with, or, you know, concocting the occasional fake memoir. This may even work in the short term, but unless you are Satan incarnate (and I hope you’re not) it will steadily chip away at your happiness and confidence, and your heart will shrivel and blacken into something they show kids in health class to scare them away from smoking. Don’t do it.
3. Recognize the forces that are outside of your control.
While it’s tempting to think that it’s all your fault if your book doesn’t sell, or your agent’s fault or the industry’s fault or the fault of a public that just doesn’t recognize your genius, a lot of times it’s just luck not going your way. Chance is BIG in this business. Huge. Gambling has nothing on the incredibly delicate and complex calculus that results in a book taking off. Bow before the whims of fate, because chance is more powerful than you and your agent combined.
4. Don’t neglect your friends and family.
No book is worth losing a friend, losing a spouse, losing crucial time with your children. Hear me? NO book is worth it. Not one. Not a bestseller, not a passion project, nothing. Friends and family first. THEN writing. Writing is not an excuse to neglect your friends and family. Unless you don’t like them very much.
5. Don’t Quit Your Day Job.
Quitting a job you need to pay the bills in order to write a novel is like selling your house and putting the proceeds into a lottery ticket. You don’t have to quit your job to write. There is time in the day. You may have to sacrifice your relaxation time or sleep time or reality television habit, but there is time. You just have to do it.
6. Keep up with publishing industry news.
It may seem counterintuitive to follow the news of a business in which layoffs currently constitute the bulk of headlines. But it behooves you to keep yourself informed. You’ll be happier (and more successful) if you know what you’re doing.
7. Reach out to fellow writers.
No one knows how hard it is to write other than other people who have tried to do it themselves. Their company is golden. If you’re reading this it means you have an Internet connection. Reach out and touch a writer. And plus, the Internet allows you to reach out to writers without smelling anyone’s coffee breath.
8. Park your jealousy at the door.
Writing can turn ordinary people into raving lunatics when they start to believe that another author’s success is undeserved. Do not begrudge other writers their success. They’ve earned it. Even if they suck.
9. Be thankful for what you have.
If you have the time to write you’re doing pretty well. There are millions of starving people around the world, and they’re not writing because they’re starving. If you’re writing: you’re doing just fine. Appreciate it.
10. Keep writing.
Didn’t find an agent? Keep writing. Book didn’t sell? Keep writing. Book sold? Keep writing. OMG an asteroid is going to crash into Earth and enshroud the planet in ten feet of ash? Keep writing. People will need something to read in the resulting permanent winter.
Need help with your book? Iām available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and consultations! And if you like this post, check out my guide to writing a novel.
Art: Moses and the Ten Commandments by Rembrandt
Ulysses says
Stephen King said, “Life is not a way to support your writing, writing should be a way to support your life.” (or words to that effect).
On the other hand, we have Asimov: “If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.”
I figure, if you’re not happy, writing success isn’t going to change that. Happiness comes from something other than riches, or accomplishments or laurels. Happiness comes from seeing the beauty in just being who and where and when you are and enjoying that. Everything else is just a way of having fun.
… this from a man out of his depth in a parking-lot puddle.
Joann Mannix says
In the karmic order of the universe, you are a soul of light, Nathan. I do so believe that. Your positivity week has bolstered my waning confidence and given me that gentle, kind-hearted slap on the tush to keep going.
And as for the moroseness of writers, it is why we can tell our stories the way we do…our hearts bleed like no others. That’s why my family rolls their eyes at me when I’m really feeling the moment, weeping away on Christmas morning or cuddling with a kitty or watching green frogs sing about rainbows….It’s all about feeling it.
Rick Daley says
Nathan,
I recall in one post or comment, you said you didn’t consider yourself to be a writer. I beg to differ with you. I think you are a talented writer, and you’re not too shabby as a philosopher, either.
WORD VERIFICATION: rerru. What Scooby-Doo says when he’s in trouble.
Windy says
I love it! Thanks for helping to keep things in perspective!
Rachel says
Great post. I really loved #9 and #1. I think if you enjoy the present and realize how incredibly lucky you are to have a home, food, and friends, everything else will fall into place…appreciation of your friends/family, hard work, enjoyment of others’ success…
Bane of Anubis says
Excellent points.
“They’ve earned it. Even if they suck.” – priceless :).
Marilyn Peake says
Thank you so much for today’s post, Nathan. This past year, when the economy went south and publishing businesses cut way back, I suddenly discovered and have been living by those same ten commandments. They work. I’m finally happy exactly where I’m at with writing. Sure, I hope to make more money at it someday; but writing is a pretty fun gig even without huge advances and major contracts, and it’s never worth sacrificing too much of the other important areas of your life.
Your sense of humor cracks me up. I read part of your blog post outloud to my husband today. You have an amazing way with words.
Sharon A. Lavy says
Positively nice post.
Scott says
Thanks, Nathan, great advice!
What about the 11th Commandment: have plenty of wine or other ‘adult’ beverages on hand when the rejection letter comes in!
Kidding. This post will definitely make it to the corkboard next to the computer.
Okay, word verify is ‘itigater’ – is this someone who uses the word ‘it’ inapproriately throughout their writing?
S
Lynn Raye Harris says
I’ve never commented here before, but this was awesome. I’ve been having a good week, actually, and feeling quite happy with the state of my career. But good days can be followed by bad, so very good advice for every day. š
Kristi says
Nathan, positivity suits you. You’d make a good psychologist. Seriously, my day job is working as a clinical psychologist and I’m forever reminding people “Wherever you go, there you are.” Happy people tend to be happy regardless of the details of their lives, and unhappy people who tell me they’ll be happy as soon as they change jobs, win the lotto, etc. don’t realize that happiness is not an external event but an internal one. If you live in the present, that takes care of many things on your list anyway (spending time w/ family, etc.)
As always, thanks for the great post and hope everyone has a great day!
Stephen Parrish says
You earned your blog pay today.
Donna Hosie says
LOL @ number ten!
sylvia says
This is lovely. I want to see it framed.
Amber Lynn Argyle says
Authors are dramatic people. How could we write if we weren’t? Still, sometimes I need to remember “it’s no big deal.” I repeat this to myself constantly in the hopes that I will eventually believe it. š
Laraine Herring says
Rock on, Nathan. š
OK, I’m a little late on coming out of the lurking closet, but I’m here. I share your blog w/my novel writing students. You pull no punches, and I (and they) really appreciate that. (I teach creative writing.)
I do have an agent and I am published, and none of it matters in the big scheme of things. I wish I’d found your blog 20 years ago (not that it was around!) when I was looking for said agent, said publisher, said career š — your advice and humor are gifts to the writing community. Your blog has helped ground me in all this current upheaval. Thanks for the efforts.
Cass says
I realy love this positivity week.
These Ten Commandments are now going to be posted on my wall above my computer.
Thanks
Craven says
I’ll add one more piece of e-litter to this mounting pile.
Thank you. Especially for #4. It’s a little too easy to become consumed and forget what’s really important.
bachi says
Well, 7 and 8 have generally made me a less happy writer. But good advice all around.
Anonymous says
As an experiment I went outside one summer night and found I could read in the back garden at half-past ten at night. Now I shall have to go out and look out for asteroids as they could be featured in the next novel.When the world comes to an end, I shall positively be taking notes……
Marilyn Peake says
Discovered some huge news today regarding eBooks. Apparently, Barnes & Noble has purchased Fictionwise and may have plans to open their own e-Bookstore: news announcement.
Fictionwise has an announcement on their website.
Jen says
To fit in with positivity week I stopped watching the news in the morning and started watching Spongebob Squarepants. I highly recommend this – I have been in a much better mood every day without all of the doom and gloom of the news in the morning!
You can get your doom and gloom in the paper at lunch, or on the 4pm, 5pm, 6pm, 10pm or 11pm news (or, on one of the 10 news channels).
But I digress… Love the commandments. And just think, if you survived the asteroid hitting Earth while half the population got wiped out, you’d have a much better corner on the book market…
Steve Fuller says
11. The delicious nectar of alcohol. Sweet, sweet alcohol.
nancorbett says
Happily, these are things that I try to practice. I’m enjoying the journey for the most part. I don’t ever want to forget that I write because I love to, not because I want to be published. I do want to be published. But that’s not why I write.
But, when I saw the word, Commandments, I shuttered. That word makes me feel like a lightening bolt is poised for my head.
Charlotte says
Thanks, Nathan, for warming the cockles of this writer’s heart. I especially love #10.
Griffin Asher says
Ooo, this is a great list to keep at hand.
Thanks for posting them.
Purple Potato Chip says
I still respectfully disagree, Nathan. People who have not ‘earned’ it are successful all the time in all ventures, publishing included.
I think the commandment about not being jealous of the situation is a good one, but it should be revised to not let this fact of life make you look over your shoulder and corrupt your work.
People succeed without earning that success all the time. We just have to get over that fact and move on–unless one wants to be one of them.
Nancy Coffelt says
The first 9 should be givens if you’re a thoughtful, balanced human being – oh wait – we’re talking about writers here!
But seriously, take number 10 seriously.
I mean that seriously.
pjd says
the fault of a public that just doesn’t recognize your genius
You mean that’s not it?
Regarding #4: Did you recently get married or something?
Oh, yeah, by the way: Good advice, every one. The type of advice that people will ignore until they learn it for themselves through experience.
Kate H says
Thank you, Nathan.
A friend of mine likes to say there are three common things that are not so common any more in our world: common courtesy, common decency, and common sense. You display all three to an uncommon degree, and thus are a credit to your generation and to the publishing industry. Again, thank you.
Toni says
This is better than Prozac! Your commandments keep everything in perspective.
Horserider says
Thank you for posting this Nathan. š I’m going to copy/paste it into a word document. I think everyone needs to read #8. There’s been so much bashing of Paolini, Meyer, and Rowling lately. (not saying they suck. I love them)
Friends…friends…all my friends are writer type friends. Writing didn’t come between me and my best friend, moving did.
rightonmom says
Ah, you’re the writer sage to my writer grasshopper…thank you thank you.
Seriously, well said.
Michelle Miles says
My two favorite: #5 and #7. You are SO right!
Jen says
Purple Potato Chip said…
I still respectfully disagree, Nathan. People who have not ‘earned’ it are successful all the time in all ventures, publishing included.
I agree, in some instances – does Paris Hilton, with her ghost-written book, deserve to call herself a published author? I think not.
Word Verification – Corgis. Cue the Queen…
Nathan Bransford says
I don’t even think it’s worth begrudging Paris Hilton. If you want her success and everything that comes with it (including that book deal)…. uh, more power to you, but it probably says more about you than her.
Anonymous says
Purple potato chip-
I will dare to say I could rip apart at least five of your top ten favorite bands. It’s a gift and I’m a music snob. Does it mean that the bands, for the most part, didn’t put time and energy and more time into that album? No. They worked hard on something that they knew the radio stations would play.
But I’m just being mean now and perhaps I’m wrong, perhaps have as much taste as me when it comes to such things so I am wrong. All I’m saying is Nathan’s probably right.
Even the celebrities had to work their brains real hard to think of something interesting that happened to them.
-Alex
Alexa says
Excellent ideas for writing and life. Especially number 1, I only recently got that and started enjoying the present rather than looking to the future!
Merry Monteleone says
I didn’t read all the comments on this one, but can I print it and put it on my fridge?
I like you on the happiness wagon, Nathan.
Thanks for the smile today.
Purple Potato Chip says
Alex–
I must not have written that clearly enough. It’s not a matter of taste. People like different things, and who knows what will strike thousands of people’s fancies all at one time. We agree on that.
I’m talking about people who have success with books (get a book published, sell thousands of copies, etc.) who have not earned it because they did very little to nothing at all in terms of writing it, or something similar to that.
Most of us knew a “golden” guy or gal in school for whom everything seemed to go their way without any effort on their parts whatsoever. That’s what I mean. It’s just a fact of the universe that this happens. It happens in publishing like everywhere else. Maybe you have to live a lot of years and see this enough to come to terms with it.
I totally agree with Nathan, though, that ‘happy writers’ don’t waste time shaking their fists at the sky over the injustice of this situation. All I’m saying is that there are people who don’t earn their success but still get it, and that happens in publishing like everywhere else.
Jovanna says
Good advice, Nathan.
…and the ants come marching in… there’s this annoying song in my head. š
Litgirl01 says
True…many creative people aren’t the happiest. Seems that sometimes creativity comes from passion and angst.
The best advice is to seek company with other writers. It really helps!
I don’t put much stock in being published or finding an agent. I will keep writing because I love it. If I publish, great! If I don’t,that’s okay too. At least I accomplished my own goals. That’s all I can control.
Anonymous says
Okay purple potato chip.
I concede only because something in my comments told you know that I was a feckless youth. I just have a hard time seeing how the golden boy got plucked from his obscurity selling stocks and became a best selling author. But if you’ve been doing this awhile, you know better than me.
And I did think the word “sucks” implied taste, but I get what you’re saying now and will stop arguing.
-Alex
Phil Ruggiero says
Great advice – especially keeping your day job (is you happen to have one in this economy).
Where does one find publishing news?
So, how do you read every query within 24 hours, maintain a very useful blog, and represent writers?
Dan Krokos says
Reading what those authors had to say was depressing.
robinellen says
Thank you.
Em says
Beautifully timed!
I have blagged myself a ticket to a very prestigious event & was second guessing my cheeky manoeuvre. Now I'm going to stand in the room among 39 much-more-successful-than-I-am authors and think positive. I shall fake it 'til I make it!
Scott says
Steve Fuller said…
11. The delicious nectar of alcohol. Sweet, sweet alcohol.
Well observed, sir. Might I add…
12. A sexy desktop picture. Or two.
Richard Lewis says
Getting published is a great validation of hard work and cultivated talent, but it doesn’t who you are or your life. Nothing magical happens on the other side of the Great ISBN Divide.
So I’d like to add, that when you get published, these same ten commandments still apply.
Great post, Nathan.
Maria Schneider says
Wow, there must be something in the San Francisco air.