One of the easiest and fastest ways to tell whether or not I’m interested in reading an author’s manuscript is to simply look at the first paragraph and see whether I’ve been insulted.
Now, I do get my share of intentionally insulting e-mails, which is fine and goes with the territory. But that’s not what this post is about.
I receive a surprisingly diverse array of backhanded compliments, unintended insults, and unintentionally aggressive “praise” from authors who stuck their thumb in the Thesaurus and pulled out a recrimination.
If you’re going to be a writer it’s imperative you know what words mean. And not just what they mean, but what they connote.
This is one reason why queries are such a window into the soul of a book. An author who calls me “savage” or who praises my “abrupt” blogs (those are made up, btw, but very close to real life examples) probably doesn’t make the best word choices in their novel. It’s a serious stretch to think that they can mess up a word choice in the first paragraph of a query and still have the ability to write a publishable novel.
And let’s start with what you’re reading. It’s a blog, or, if you want to get fancy, a weblog. It’s not a Blogger or a bloglines or a bloge or a blogjournal, all of which I see on a regular basis. You gotta know this stuff. You’re supposed to be a word person! You have to know what jargon the kids are using!
Now, I’m not saying that someone who struggles with grammar or word choice or who struggles with a learning disability can’t write a good book. Storytelling is storytelling, and it’s a gift possessed by many different types of people.
But if you are someone who struggles with word choice and grammar you must must must 1) know who you are and 2) have someone check and double check your query and manuscript for word choice issuances.
Stepping out of my usual lurkdom (don’t care if that isn’t in the dictionary, this isn’t a query 🙂 )
to heartily agree with Nathan’s post.
I judge writing contests. Every time, I see proof that there are people who think they can write, but clearly have a limited grasp of the language they are writing in. In competitions, I try to convince myself that these people are beginners, and will improve. But finding it in your slush-pile day after day? From people who must believe they are at a publishable standard?
Do they make alcohol strong enough?
Ranielle,
I really didn’t think anyone would catch the subtlety… I caught it on my spell check before I post, but thought it was a decent joke. Good on ya!
I mean, the topic was POOR CHOICE OF WORDS!
Haste yee back 😉
Do you get many misplaced modifiers, such as Having read all your blog posts, my book really fits what you’re looking for!
Those are my favorite.
Though I don’t think I’d mind if someone called me “savage.” In the right context, of course. Heathen, however…
Choosing the right word to evoke the feeling the author wants to create in the reader is so critical it saddens me that readers’ vocabularies are becoming smaller and smaller.
Lewis Carroll chose such wonderful non-words in The Jabberwoky!
An aside: Why does sentence structure become higgeldy-piggeldy when I send manuscript pages over the internet?
@Irish B said… Why aren't you writing books?
You obviously didn't read Publishers Lunch this morning. New six figure deal: The Best of Bransford – 'Agent – A Gent'
Released next fall by 'Shaman & Shyster'. 🙂
Dear Colorado Writer,
You killed my father. Prepare to Die.
Knowing what your words mean…it’s important. The wrong word choices could alter the original intention. And sometimes it only takes one word to do this.
This is tangential, but boy do I hate the “but I’m dyslexic!” excuse. Blaming external factors just seems to me like a way to give up an awful lot of power over one’s own success (and I say that as a dyslexic. One who can put a sentence together, thankyouverymuch).
To Anon: I think the point is not that these submitters are insulting Nathan. It’s that they don’t command the language well enough to know how to choose words that will best convey their meaning. If they can’t manage that in a single paragraph, it bodes unwell for their ability to manage it over the course of an entire manuscript.
Annalee said…
This is tangential, but boy do I hate the “but I’m dyslexic!” excuse. Blaming external factors just seems to me like a way to give up an awful lot of power over one’s own success (and I say that as a dyslexic. One who can put a sentence together, thankyouverymuch).
You’re right, plenty of writers with dyslexia have gone on to have successful careers. My personal fave author, Piers Anthony, struggled with the problem for years, and then went on to be a best selling autor, with well over 100 books to his name. It just takes determination and a lot of hard work.
Whenever I hear about people who are lazy with their words/spelling/grammar/etc. I always get a little bristly. They wine that it’s hard and takes too much time.
All I can say is: suck it up. I’ve lived with dyslexia my whole life. Writing is always hard work for me, but I stick with it because I love it.
There’s really no excuse for laziness. If I can do it, then anyone can.
Ink,
Stop saying that!
Wow! Write about correct word choice and hopeful authors parse your every word. For the love of blogdom and jelliquaria, leave the nice, helpful, kind agent be. He’s just saying that authors (who work in words) should know what they communicate.
Great advice, Nathan. I’ll leave you with a lovely quote by Stephen King:
Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. -Stephen King
Excellent post, Nathan. I’m not bold enough to ridicule other writers for being guilty of this; I have more socially awkward moments online than I’d care to admit 😛
Anyway, good advice for anyone to follow, not just writers. Written words are hard to get right because you don’t have things like body language and voice inflection to help get your meaning across.
That said, misusing words like “blog” and “blogger” is just ridiculous…
Great bloge. Do you also tweet?
Seriously, that blog was a classic. Thanks.
As to Stephen King’s words – doesn’t it depend on who “you”(the reader) is? Are we to write for the lowest denominator? Personally I like to come across unfamiliar words – as long as they’re not just being used to be pretentious.
Thank you for getting back to writing topics. (I’d say let the authonomy discussion stay where it belongs, on that site.)
This post about understanding words and their meanings is why I follow your blog, not for sensational news about the latest publicity stunt.
Using the correct word is a skill, and can be learned. Using it to bring more life into what is being said along with all the nuances is an art. Along with the current desire for immediate gratification comes an unwillingness to do the research on what a word actually means.
I find it amazing that a writer would take a chance on insulting a prospective agent by being careless in how they approach that agent. Professionalism is the image the writer should aspire to, and the choice of words is very important.
Words speak for us, so we must be cognizant of what they say.
Great post.
Thank you, that was an alarming post, I here what your saying.
Sorry for the deleted comments. I keep forgetting that I can’t edit myself on these bloges once I’ve posted something. I can’t help it… I have CED… compulsive editing disorder.
Advice from C.S. Lewis:
Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn’t mean anything else.
One of my favorite words that folks misuse constantly is “infamous.” I’ll never forget when someone told me I was infamous to my face, thinking they were paying me a great compliment!
Then my daughter had to correct her fourth grade teacher with respect to this word. He had to look it up, then had to acknowledge that she was right. Now how sad is that, when the person charged with teaching her English is telling her the meaning of words that they don’t know themselves.
Thanks Nathan, I hate getting backhanded compliments in real life so I can imagine they don’t feel too good in a query either.
“You don’t know about me without you have read a book by the name of The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain’t no matter.”
Wrong.
But, oh, so right.
Sometimes the mishmash just works … possibly not in a query letter, however.
Although I could give it a shot.
Hi Nathan,
Query attached. I’m using my pseudonym – Samuel Clem… er, Clemency. So please ‘pardon’ the unusual style.
Thanks
Chris
I’m late in my blog reading tonight, but am actually most impressed with the fact that Nathan knew Miriam Webster’s 2004 word of the year. Seriously, was this off the top of your head or did you google it? I can barely remember what I ate for breakfast today, let alone the year 2004.
“what jargon the kids are using…” its hard for us to keep up with it but you would know naturally since…
Who are these crazy morons who call you savage, abrupt blogger, some Crawford with syndrome. Pls go ahead and reject them – I’m with you. Really, I mean..
Re: Anon 3:47
I quote:
“When are you going to realize it’s about the book, not you?”
May I gently suggest to you that publishing requires the skills of tact, cooperation, and concern for the feelings of other people? If your book is so very important to you that you cannot use common courtesy in dealing with an agent, I consider it highly unlikely that a reputable agent, or editor, will want to work with you.
Reputable agents, and editors, know that literary brilliance and its cash payoffs are no real compensation for tolerating arrogance, hypersensitivity, incomprehension of human relationships, and just plain nastiness.
And yes, your comment looked very nasty in black and white.
Twas turdish
And in the bogish swamp did play
The agent and his tweedy putermouse.
“Nay, nay, nay!” would he bray
And with a pixelish click
Dash and destroy and bransfordly demolish
A quovishly quivering writer.
One of my Asian friends, educated in an American university, explained to me why he and wife had no children.
“My wife,” he said, “she is inconceivable. No that’s not the right word. What is it? Ah, yes. My wife is impregnable. No, no, that’s not right. Oh, what’s the word? Yes, yes, I remember. My wife, she is unbearable.”
Kudos to Richard!
O Richard that is so Racy!
What bothers me more than misused words is the misuse, nay, the outright dismissal of the subjunctive and conditional statements by authors… sometimes they use ’em, sometimes they don’t – if I were an editor, I’d be consistent (save for possible dialog colloquialism or ignorance); sometimes, I wish I were an editor.
Fiddler on the Roof – “I wish I were a rich man…”
gwen stefani – “I wish I was a rich girl” – JFC – it’s not like you even needed to fail (ditch) your homework to get that one wrong.
Abrupt blog? 🙂
Cut to the chase, do you?
Jen C – my picture shows the AlphaSmart Neo, which is a portable word processor that runs on 3 AA batteries for up to 700 hours. Thanks for asking!
Nathan – sorry for going OT on your blog.
Thanks for this Nathan.
As someone who is getting ready to stick their head above the parapet and leap into into the exciting world of agents/publishers in the next year, this was absolutely, hilariously invaluable. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you open some of the more ‘interestingly written’ queries!
Sarah
Chet said…
Jen C – my picture shows the AlphaSmart Neo, which is a portable word processor that runs on 3 AA batteries for up to 700 hours. Thanks for asking!
Thanks Chet, I’m leaving you a comment on your blog regarding it!
‘Savage’ is a compliment in Limerick, Ireland. So is it still an issuance?
I must say that I agree with Nathan. I believe its human for a writer to not be comfortable with particular set of words, but someone not atleast doing these two things with his/her writing definitely is lazy (1) Spell Check. Although sometimes word processors act funny (2) Thesaurus Check – both for exact meaning as well as to check if a better word is available.
Nice one. I think more agents should be closer home to writers, share experiences and all whatnot.
Do check my blogsite if you have time.
Thanks,
Onyeka
(Nigeria)
I often find myself double-checking even the most mundane words just to make sure that I don’t mess up, especially because the “natural” use of language often employs words incorrectly, be it intentional or not.
Writer is not just a creator of stories. Writer is a creator of language, from neologisms to sentence structures. There is an invisible border between “this works although it isn’t really a word” and “this is constructed fairly well but just doesn’t sound right”. Funny thing being, it is almost impossible to tell why. You either feel it or you don’t.
Also, _issuances_?
I think some of this problem can be fixed by reading a lot, and reading widely.
Hahaha.
“I regularly read your blogger on my Internet machine and I thought I’d typewrite a letter and electronically mail it to you because my novel is wonderful.”
I understand some people don’t get the jargon but what decade are we living in? I sure hope these people aren’t writing young adult novels!
I contracted with a freelance editor to help polish my first novel. I had no idea about things like word choices, echoes, fantasy rules, etc.
My favorite comment my editor left me was in the prologue. I had written a line that read “his eyes sparkled with relish.” My editor wrote a comment off to the side that read “hot dog anyone?”
I learned so much from the words that were surrounded in a ink box (annotating that I had made a poor word choice). You really have to work with someone to truly see what ‘poor word choice’ really means.
Plus, I think there’s not enough publicity about echoes. Every five pages I would use a word three times…one time I used it six times on a single page! Wow, I had no idea about echoes. No one ever told me about them.
I am an editor of academic and government writing. I love getting manuscripts from people who have clearly made indiscriminate use of a thesaurus in their writing. I call a writer like that a “Thesaurus Rex” — the king of the thesaurus is a sharp-toothed eater of meaning!
Getting unintentional slurs in a query is sad enough, but receiving intentionally insulting emails is just wrong! Must it really go with the territory? I’m sorry there are so many clods in the world.
And ahem, I believe I mentioned last week already that you should write a book, Nathan. Then people could quote you instead of D. Maas (who is also very good).
There’s a topic idea. What is everyone’s favorite book on writing, and why?
Those brazenly brusque writers
needed demolishing. I’m sure they aren’t quovishly quivering
(what whackjob thesaurus is being used there?). They are hackin away
at the next one on the assembly line! They are the real demolition men!
same anon as 8:14pm
lupina i second that!
Ahh…Nathan This stuff is so good I know you can’t be making it up. For the first time I didn’t like VLL comment, but then she redeemed herself with her next one. Seriously, if you don’t love words, get irritated when people use the wrong word, you shouldn’t be a writer. Is that savage enough?I can’t wait to meet you at the Pikes Peak Writer’s Conference. Hope you live up to your blog, dude.
You’re a class act, Nathan, not using real examples….
The guy who said “boink” meant “boink.” After all, he was talking about a cave man . . .
As for “savage,” they probably meant “gnarly.” That’s surfer slang for “terrifying but beautiful.”
Hello Nathan,
I’m new to your blog, but wrote the following entry this morning @ https://soulechoes2.blogspot.com/2009/03/thesaurus-101.html
, after reading your post.
It reminded me of a time or three when I inevitably had to ask, “You’ve been reading the Thesaurus again, haven’t you?”