One of the easiest and fastest ways to tell whether or not I’m interested in reading an author’s manuscript is to simply look at the first paragraph and see whether I’ve been insulted.
Now, I do get my share of intentionally insulting e-mails, which is fine and goes with the territory. But that’s not what this post is about.
I receive a surprisingly diverse array of backhanded compliments, unintended insults, and unintentionally aggressive “praise” from authors who stuck their thumb in the Thesaurus and pulled out a recrimination.
If you’re going to be a writer it’s imperative you know what words mean. And not just what they mean, but what they connote.
This is one reason why queries are such a window into the soul of a book. An author who calls me “savage” or who praises my “abrupt” blogs (those are made up, btw, but very close to real life examples) probably doesn’t make the best word choices in their novel. It’s a serious stretch to think that they can mess up a word choice in the first paragraph of a query and still have the ability to write a publishable novel.
And let’s start with what you’re reading. It’s a blog, or, if you want to get fancy, a weblog. It’s not a Blogger or a bloglines or a bloge or a blogjournal, all of which I see on a regular basis. You gotta know this stuff. You’re supposed to be a word person! You have to know what jargon the kids are using!
Now, I’m not saying that someone who struggles with grammar or word choice or who struggles with a learning disability can’t write a good book. Storytelling is storytelling, and it’s a gift possessed by many different types of people.
But if you are someone who struggles with word choice and grammar you must must must 1) know who you are and 2) have someone check and double check your query and manuscript for word choice issuances.
Ink says
Nathan, I love your turgid bloge.
I joke, I joke… Really, I don’t love it at all.
Oh, okay, that was a joke too. It’s been a long couple of days, I admit.
Mira says
Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall. I’d love to see some of those queries.
Savage? You? Really?
Is there any possiblity, though, that the queries are ‘in voice?’ For example, maybe the writer has written an angry novel, and they are trying to capture that feeling?
Just a thought.
Marilyn Peake says
Currently writing the part of my novel where the plot is coming together and unfolding nicely, I’m finding myself concentrating on word choice more than ever – finding words that connote the exact meaning of the story, and sometimes symbolic meanings as well. I feel that much of the real power of writing comes from the correct use of words. Words have power.
I think that one of the reasons your blog is so popular is because you can really write. Your choice of words delivers the message; and, when you try to be funny, you succeed.
Irish B says
I agree with Marilyn. Why aren’t you writing books? (I typed it the way I meant it.)
Marilyn Peake says
Dear Literary Agent,
I understand that you are flushing out new talent. I’m fresh, really fresh, and have a bright new manuscript. Are you interested?
Just havin’ fun. 🙂
Marilyn Peake says
I agree with Irish B. Why aren’t you writing a book, Nathan?
Jo says
Would a cleverly inserted malapropism catch your attention? If it was intended? Or would it grasp through your slip?
Bija Andrew Wright says
Glad to know I’m not the only one who gets frustrated with imprecise word choices. My students (in college writing classes) should learn to be careful, because one bad word choice can sabotage my confidence in their skills as writers.
Martin Willoughby says
What about the different meaning of words across nations?
In the UK, ‘nick’ can mean ‘steal’, ‘cop’ and ‘copper’ can mean policeman (among other things).
We also have different meanings for words in different regions.
Is there an allowance for ‘regional’ usage with some words the writer uses…not including bloge of course, unless that’s how it spelt in some areas.
Mercy Loomis says
@Martin
I think if you are writing a query letter, it’s best to stick to plain old chancery English as much as possible. Avoid slang. As for novels, I personally prefer to avoid a lot of slang. A little in dialog adds voice, and usually people can figure it out from context even if they don’t know the particular word or phrase. (And make sure that the word or phrase MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS!) But you always risk kicking your reader out of the story if you use too much, and slang really has no place in a professional communication, in my opinion. And query letters written “in character” have got to be incredibly annoying after awhile.
Mercy Loomis says
And I must say I find it VERY odd that the spell-checker here counts “dialogue” as miss-spelled. Stupid spell-check.
Mira says
On the other hand, although I completely hear what you’re saying – it’s important to be careful – but it’s also good to give a bit of latitude.
Communication is hard. It’s hard to know how someone will take things. Obviously not something like: You’re not as (insert word here) as the other agents. That’s not pretty out there.
But savage. Maybe someone really thought you’d like that. It conjures up an image of he-men by the fire, ripping meat off the thighs of giant boars with their teeth. Maybe someone liked the idea of an agent who will savagely promote them, and thought you would too. I don’t know.
Dearth of Reason says
Many of the advice points highlighted by Nathan in his helpful blog can be boiled down to, “Stop being lazy. Put in the work and you improve your chances in a harsh marketplace.”
Being lazy myself, I like to sit back and resent this sentiment. But if you catch me in a rare moment of perspective, usually occurring somewhere between a large meal and an empty bottle of wine, I agree I should not expect to be published if I continue my indulgent ways. I would do something about it but right now I need to find the corkscrew… can’t remember where I put the damned thing.
Haste yee back ;-) says
I find people’s *connoting skills* vary immensely. Some see subtext everywhere, (conspiracy types) and some can’t feel it with a 2X4 boink on their frontal lobe, (like a cave man sayin’ “I love you!)”
I remember fighting a 65 lb catfish in blazing hot sun for 45 exhausting minutes. When the fish was tired, I shouted, “Get the net!” Whereupon my 14 yr. old nephew hands me a 3X5 inch minnow net as he leans against the secured 6 foot landing net which surrounds his head like a hair-net. (Meaning… what you’re sendin’ is only good as what’s receiving’)!
Haste yee back 😉
Aubrey says
My favorite was an e-mail I received from a published author that wanted to be featured on my blog. It looked like their fingers were on the wrong keys when she was typing and didn’t bother to fix it when she hit send.
Needless to say there were some really odd words in that e-mail.
Sherin says
“…from authors who stuck their thumb in the Thesaurus and pulled out a recrimination.”
Genius.
Litgirl01 says
Nathan…you always have a diplomatic way of putting things! 😉
Rachel says
I’m not sure what surprised me more about this blog…that people don’t know the difference between a blog and a blogger, or that someone would insult an agent at the same time they are seeking representation from him. Bizarre. Oh, well…Nathan, I love your blogger!
Jen C says
This just reaffirms to me that your query letter is an extension of your novel, not something entirely different.
(How’s that for a short post! See, I can do it!)
Word Veri – Sulsidan. How cool does that sound?
Vegas Linda Lou says
Nathan, please… Do you really think someone’s inability to keep up with technical jargon–which changes every 15 minutes–really indicates a lack of literary talent? If so, imagine what you’re passing up!
Kristin Laughtin says
Wow. Of course, after a blogjournal like that, I’m morbidly curious to see more examples of this phenomenon. (And I find myself liking “blogjournal” a bit too much…)
I wonder if a majority of these people might be writing the intros (at least) to their queries on the fly, in an attempt to personalize each one. A worthy effort, of course, but still, let your draft rest for a night! I feel I have a good grasp of semantics, but occasionally I’ll revise something I’ve written and realize I used a similarly spelled word in place of what I really meant, and the results are more often awkward than hilarious. Somehow these things can escape our notice in the first draft.
Mister Fweem says
@ Vegas Linda Lou
Blogs — and this basic terminology — have been around for a while now. Some technical stuff changes, but most of it remains the same. And if you’re communicating with an agent who uses a blog, you’d better know how to spell it.
K. Andrew Smith says
I’m always amazed at how many people say they want to write a book, but they don’t read, have a lousy vocabulary, and don’t understand grammar.
What’s even scarier is that some of these people actually do write their books, and try to get them published, if agent bloggers can be believed. While I’d love to spend a few days with a slush pile, just to see what I’m up against, I can’t imagine having to deal with it day in, day out, sorting through hundreds of queries a week, trying to find traces of publishable writer.
Word verification: tieddis. Tedius, maybe? Seems fitting.
Nathan Bransford says
VLL-
As I’ve said before, there’s no such thing as an automatic rejection. If the only problem with the query was that the author didn’t know what a “blog” is, I’m not passing it up.
But that never happens — if they mess up “blog” the rest of the query is usually not very strong.
“Blog” isn’t some crazy technical jargon. It’s in the dictionary. It was Miriam Webster’s word of the year in 2004. A writer who reads newspapers and magazines or… pretty much anything should have absorbed it by now.
Chet says
Someone who struggles with word choice and grammar – especially someone who knows they have such a struggle – will make the effort to make sure every word is the right word, or as close to the right one as possible.
The one who is comfortable with words and writing – that’s the one who’ll be less careful.
BTW, greetings from Malaysia. 🙂
Jen C says
A bit OT, but Chet, what is your pic of? Is that one of the portable word processing thingys for writers?
Word Veri – Crock. What are you trying to say?
Jen C says
Vegas Linda Lou said…
Nathan, please… Do you really think someone’s inability to keep up with technical jargon–which changes every 15 minutes–really indicates a lack of literary talent? If so, imagine what you’re passing up!
I think the point is that, if one doesn’t know what it means then one shouldn’t use it. If someone doesn’t know what a blog/bloge is, or know what the right term is, then they shouldn’t really be using it as part of their query.
(OMG I had to delete the erroneous comment, I’m that OCD I just couldn’t stand looking at it…)
Anonymous says
simply look at the first paragraph and see whether I’ve been insulted.
Oh, please. First it was writers employing rhetorical questions. Then it was writers not following your query formula. Now it’s writers offending your sensitivities. When are you going to realize it’s about the book, not you?
Nathan Bransford says
anon-
What I’m saying is that these were clearly UNINTENDED insults. The authors didn’t know what the words mean/connote. They’re free to do that if they want, but if I didn’t take poor word choice into account when reading a query I’d be really terrible at my job.
I really don’t care what people think of me. You could secretly hate me and still query me. I’m not worried about it. As long as we can work together and you’re talented and you can suppress the fact that you hate my guts, go for it.
Trashy Cowgirl says
I’m playing with Flash Fiction a lot recently. Talk about letting it all hang out. It is definitely giving me a respect, not only for the correct word, but for the MOST correct word.
And, here’s something I’ve started doing, may be of help to others. When I have trouble with a chapter, I pick a very conservative number of words (usually around 500) and strip the chapter down to it. Makes everything quite clear. Also helps me focus on the main point of the chapter. Then, I build it back up from there.
Ranielle says
Re: “a 2×4 boink” because I honestly couldn’t resist, given the post’s topic.
boink, verb – to have or engage in sexual intercourse
bonk, verb – to hit, strike, collide, etc.
Vegas Linda Lou says
OK, I agree writers should know what a blog is; I was more concerned with Nathan saying, “You have to know what jargon the kids are using!”
Keeping up with the kids’ jargon is a full-time job in itself! Oh, damn… I hate it when my 8-track flips over right in the middle of a song.
Nathan Bransford says
Ohhh, yeah, VLL you don’t have to know what jargon the kids are using unless you’re trying to write modern kids into your book.
I was more trying to poke fun at the fact that blog isn’t really a new word. But I can see how you read it the other way.
Jen C says
Nathan, you have so much patience with people you put me to shame.
Anonymous says
Anon here again.
I have no reason to doubt your ability as an agent. It’s refreshing to find someone in this corner of the industry who can write. But I’m disturbed by what I perceive to be a growing trend among agents to be overly sensitive to how they’re approached.
Mercy Loomis says
Ranielle,
Semantic drift, baby. Gotta love it.
Word verification: prosesse. A snobby procession?
MaLanie says
Nathan- thanks for the heads up! It is always great to hear your advice. Have a nice evening!
Anonymous says
While majoring in Journalism in college, it amazed me to see how many kids couldn’t pass the GSP (Grammar, Spelling, Punctuation) exam and had to take it over and over. If I was that bad at something, I think I’d be looking for a new major–if not a new career. Not all writers can be their own editor, but they should know enough to ask for help.
Sandra G. says
Anon – I think agents have every right to be sensitive about how they are approached (and no, I’m not an agent…not even close).
Using spell check and having someone look over your query before you send it off is not difficult, and if you want to try and get ahead in this game you must have basic vocabulary and grammar skills.
That said, I’m with K. Andrew Smith – I’d love to spend a day wading through a slush pile to see what I’m up against.
Sally Apokedak says
Nathan, You come across as a genuinely nice fellow.
Anonymous says
Different anon here. Wondering about the unprovoked agent hate that seems to pop up now and again. It must be part of the job, and kudos to you for not taking it to heart.
I’ve read your blog for a couple of years now, and am really impressed that you’ve kept my attention for so long. You’re an entertaining writer, for sure, but I think mostly what I like about your blog is that you keep things so civil.
Scott says
After recently looking over lots of stuff by aspiring authors, I really get the impression that many are simply rushing the process. The writing even feels rushed. Maybe they’re trying to get through the story before they feel too much doubt about what they’re doing. I don’t know.
For some, writing––query withstanding––is very frightening. The frustration and confusion it causes can be emotionally crippling, so instead of taking their time with a pinch of faith and working through it, they force it out. I can see how a lot of poor word choices can result from such a tack.
The Kamikaze Process rarely produces gold, so I say “take your time”. New writers shouldn’t be afraid of writing those first five to ten “bad” books. There are no shortcuts, unfortunately, so stay simple, choose wisely, and learn every step of the way.
other lisa says
@anon – I really think you’re missing Nathan’s point. If an author’s query contains words that don’t mean what the author thinks they mean, odds are, the book sucks too. Because said author lacks a really basic skill for a writer – knowing how to use words correctly.
m clent hall says
This is a very interesting subject and I offer an experience from the other side of the fence.
Attending an excellent conference, I paid money to have an agent look at my manuscript, a story in a field in which she professed interest. I don’t use fancy language, I adhere to the Mark Twain dictum of five dollar versus ten cent words. But, she marked two words on the first page, said, “I don’t know what those mean. OK I have a dictionary, but why should I look them up?”
Clearly I was wasting my time, but I didn’t waste my money. I learnt, to be very simple in the words I use when trying to get an agent or editor to read my work. It’s as easy to put them off with good English as it is with bad.
Nathan Bransford says
anon@4:03-
I’m not trying to create another hoop for writers, just pointing out the importance of recognizing word choice throughout the query. I just used unintended insults as an example.
Although even if the insult thing were the thrust of this blog post the advice would boil down to “don’t insult the person you’re querying,” which… well, if you have trouble with jumping through that hoop you’re probably going to have quite a bit of trouble finding an agent who wants to work with you.
It’s also kind of ironic that these are the same people who tend to be most sensitive to perceived sleights.
Colorado Writer says
Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
jimnduncan says
You would think, given the state of queries lately, that people would try to avoid anything extra at all in their queries. Agents probably appreciate the succinct queries even more now than ever. While I’m sure it’s nice to know writers have found you through the blog, does that really have any influence at all on the query? Do you care or want anything more than title, genre, and word count before reading the blurb? Do you just read the blurb first and worry about the other stuff after the fact if you have any interest in it? Just thinking outloud here, but seems people could just avoid the worry of what to say by not saying anything. Obviously you have to say ‘something’ but you know what I mean.
Nathan Bransford says
jimduncan-
I appreciate when people personalize because it shows a higher level of dedication/professionalism and bodes well for the manuscript.
But I think sometimes people let their guard down in those sections because they’re not part of the query they sweated over. I’m looking at everything. Sometimes the way someone personalizes is more revealing than the body of the query because chances are they didn’t have help on that part.
m clement hall says
To Sandra G:
If you want to see what a slush pile looks like, join Authonomy.
You’ll get an idea of what the agent has to see.
You’ll also meet some good people.
Barb says
Sleight – manual dexterity.
Slight – intentional disregard.
Sorry, couldn’t resist.