Confession time: I’m having a frustrating day. But hey, it completely goes with the territory. This is a frustrating business. There are more books than slots at publishing houses, and that’s the case now more than ever. Frustration happens. It’s the nature of life in the book funnel.
It’s also just built into the business. When you hear about a publisher jumping from $2.5 million to $3 million in an auction for a celebrity book, it’s easy to think, “Uh… that publisher just nickle and dimed my client and refused to give them even $1,000 more when they really deserved it. And they passed on another project because they didn’t want to take a risk on a debut. But they won’t even blink at jumping $500,000 in an auction for a book about Paris Hilton’s chihuahua?” (Okay, it is kind of a cute dog. Also I’m kidding, that’s not an actual book. Yet. UPDATE: Oops! Yes, it is.)
And then of course, there’s the aforementioned rejections, bad reviews, negativity, and strange whims of fate.
Depressed? Don’t be!
Here’s the only way to deal with the frustrations of the publishing business: don’t become fixated on the publishing business.
You’ll. Go. Mad. if you place all of your eggs in the basket of publishing, following the ins and outs, letting it consume your entire being, and living and dying by your rejections, reviews, and what mean anonymous commenters are saying about you on any given day.
It’s soooo easy to let publishing become an all-consuming force in your life. It takes so much time to write, and then there are the blogs to follow, the agents to research, the publishers to keep track of, the industry news, the rejections to track… it takes a lot of time. Combine that with a day job and there aren’t many hours in the day left.
But it just can’t be everything.
The best way to deal with the frustrations: ignore it for a while. Take a walk! Spend time with your friends and family! (Remember them? It’s okay to ask them to remind you what their names are. They’ll just be glad to have you back.). Take up a second, less frustrating hobby, like sunflower photography. Better yet: start rooting for the Sacramento Kings to see what frustration really feels like. The publishing industry has nothing on being a Kings fan.
If you find yourself becoming down in the dumps about your prospects or the business or the state of things: It’s probably a sign you’re spending too much time focused on it. It’s perfectly okay to tune out for a while. When you clear your head and come back: all of a sudden the industry will magically seem like a place of hope and possibility.
Because the difference between seeing opportunity and frustration in this business is all in your head. It’s just a matter of how your brain is looking at it that day.
Please share your favorite method of distraction in the comments section!
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Art: Ludwig Knaus – Mein Napf ist leer
Dara says
For me, it’s playing on the Wii. More specifically, playing Animal Crossing 😛
Also, watching movies helps as well as old episodes of Gilmore Girls. Something about that show just makes me forget about the frustrations of life. Maybe it’s because I’m so focused on following the fast paced dialogue between Rory and Lorelai. Who knows 😛
Kat Harris says
For me, it’s searching youtube for really bad videos from the 80s.
There’s nothing more entertaining than ABC and the B-52s. Well . . . 🙂
Beezer the First says
A few frustrated friends and I started a happy blog. Taking time to post things there, and visiting them as frequently as needed, is really, really soothing.
http:www.happinessontap.blogspot.com
Anonymous says
There actually is a book about Tinkerbell Hilton. https://www.amazon.com/Tinkerbell-Hilton-Diaries-Tailing-Paris/dp/0446694304
Does this frustrate you even more?
Kimber An says
Dark.
Chocolate.
However, that may only work for the female of our species. Dunno. Mountain Dew works for my Heroic Husband. Try that.
Anonymous says
Looking like a female John Wayne right now. Was so frustrated I decided to go for a ride (on a horse). To bad you couldn’t have suggested a WALK two days ago!
Now off subject, if you have time. On a query letter, is it appropriate to leave everything about yourself off, if the only asset you have is a large chest? I don’t think that is going to get me very far with most agents!
Heather says
I focus on my writing. Maybe that’s lame, but when I have something out on submission, instead of looking through reports about what is selling and what agents are picking up, I just focus on my next book.
That way, I figure if this book doesn’t sell, I can maybe sell the next one and then some agent might be able to sell my old stuff too.
I enjoy my positive world bubble (painted with cynical stripes).
abc says
Interpretive dance. Home alone. Turn it up and move. Lately I've been preferring that David Byrne & Brian Eno album. I hope my neighbors don't see me.
Ink says
Seriously, go watch the first thirty minutes of Saving Private Ryan and remind yourself that it could have been your generation charging up that beach. Perspective is a beautiful thing.
My best, as always,
Bryan Russell
Loves2Read says
I like to read. Y’all should try it, it’s a great way to escape.
Ash D. says
Methods of distraction?
First, like Dara above, Animal Crossing for the Wii! Oh, how I would move into that video game if it were possible! Lazy days of picking and selling fruit, fishing, and mingling with the laid-back animal villagers.. ahhh.. It is THE BEST.
Second, I like to indulge in a bowl of some sort of hot fudge chocolate thing (or brownies, or cookies, etc.) while watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek on DVD.
Third.. Oh goodness. I’m glad none of you know me as I am embarrassed to admit this hobby of mine… I like to make fan videos!! There, I said it. I make fan videos of my favorite fictional couples from my favorite daytime and primetime soaps and publish them to youtube.
So.. there you have it. Sometimes I actually have to pry myself away from those things to get any writing done…
Confession is good for the soul, right? 🙂
Anonymous says
x x
Patti says
I do anything to be away from the computer. My favourite is playingy soccer and watching my kids play basketball.
Lisa Schroeder says
I think in some ways, that’s why it’s good I still have the day job.
As far as entertaining distractions, Friday Night Lights. Love it, love it, LOVE IT! Riggins can make anything better.
Thomma Lyn says
I hike regularly in the mountains. It rejuvenates me on all levels and keeps my head on straight.
Another favorite activity: playing my piano, getting swept away by music. When I return to earth, things look better again. 🙂
And cats. There’s nothing like cats: unconditional friendship, purrs, warm fuzzies, and they give me the gigglesnorts with their antics.
Anonymous says
Let’s make the rich celebrity slobs richer. Why not?
Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! says
good blog, Nate. I get frustrated every once in a while, but I gotta keep my cool or I’ll go CRAZY!!!
Anonymous says
Primary Responsibilities, maybe. Yeah, that’s it. Responsibilities fit nicely in the Distraction Class.
Bane of Anubis says
Second what Bryan said…
The day I got laid off, my biggest fear was telling my wife (particularly since I’d told her there was a 99% chance I was safe only two day before – yeah, I know I jinxed myself) – she took it a lot better than I expected… and of course knew how to put things in perspective:
she’d just seen the CT for a 26 year old female who had metastatic cancer and rightly let me know that there are far worse things than rejection.
And yeah, there are a select few people who are more fortunate than most of us by far, but I’d definitely bet a fat load of cash I can’t afford right now that most of our fortunes are far better than the majority of people across the world, many who don’t have the luxury or time to even dream of pursuing dreams.
Of course, rejection and idiot celebs still suck :).
Rick Daley says
My favorite method of distraction is reading Celebrity Memoirs, especially about their spoiled pets. Love. Them.
Just kidding. What I really do is post comments on blogs.
Dara says
Ash D, I would move into that game too if I could. I believe my house in that game is bigger than where I live now 😛
And I also make fan videos on YouTube too, although I haven’t been able to make one in more than a year. *Sigh* I miss that…
Chuck H. says
Honda VTX1300, full tank of gas, and a long and winding road.
Hey, I’m no longer a lurker!
Kristi says
Sounds like being a Kings fan is equivalent to being a Kansas City Chiefs fan…seriously, how many years can a team say they’re “rebuilding?” Aaah…maybe next season.
Methods of distraction: Playing Mario Party on Nintendo w/ the hubby and kids (I know, we’re old-school and don’t have a Wii yet). Actually, doing anything with the kids is a complete and refreshing distraction.
My other recent distraction reveals my extreme level of geekitude. My husband and I don’t watch TV at all…BUT…on a recommendation, we recently ordered the new Battlestar Gallactica series on Netflix and talk about distracting. It’s “hey, maybe we can put the kids to bed early and stay up til midnight so we can get in another episode so we can mail it back and get the next disc” distracting. Scary, but for any other sci-fi dorks like us, it’s amazing! 🙂
Marilyn Peake says
Nathan –
You are wonderful. I really believe it’s best to keep at least one eye on the optimistic side of things because that’s how you’ll spot the trail that leads to success. As you’ve said, writing and publishing can become all-consuming. For writers, it often needs to be all-consuming in order to keep our brains wrapped around a complicated writing project and see it through to the end. Thanks for sharing about the frustrations that literary agents face. Here are my favorite methods of distraction from writing:
1.) Time with family.
2.) Watching movies. I just discovered a great indie movie about time travel: “Primer”. And I cannot wait to see “Watchmen”, now in theaters!
3.) Photography – one of my favorite hobbies.
4.) Traveling – I just booked a vacation with one of the amazing deals being offered right now, paying just a fraction of the normal cost.
5.) Brand new hobbies. I took my first skiing lesson a few weeks ago after crossing skiing off the list of things I would ever do.
6.) Playing computer games – this is very new to me, another brand new hobby, actually.
7.) Physical exercise, although, alas, I tend to let that go when I’m writing.
8.) When I’m writing something that takes a long time to write, especially a novel, I sometimes write much shorter pieces including flash fiction and start submitting them.
9.) Mocha lattes with 2 shots of espresso, whip cream and chocolate sauce on top. I’m drinking one right now. I feel better already. Yummmmm…
Nixy Valentine says
Love the post, Nathan, and it’s so perfectly timed.
Thanks for having the most positive negativity week ever! ♥
Writer from Hell says
music….
never fails
Dharma Kelleher says
Spending some quality time at https://icanhascheezburger.com/ helps me out.
Colorado Writer says
March Madness
a new puppy
knitting
scrapbooking
Wii bowling
Natalie says
I draw. It’s so relaxing to me to spend that time to make something beautiful. Takes my mind off everything else.
ella144 says
I play video games with my sons and husband. A little mild gratuitous violence or winning a few races in MarioKart really helps to work out those frustrations.
Other ways include reading a really good book (Jane Austin, C.Bronte, or Laurie King) either with my cat, who has excellent taste in literature, or out loud to my kids, who also have excellent taste. I do the different voices and sometimes act out scenes. We usually end up laughing so hard I can’t read any longer. It’s a riot! Laughter is great for frustration.
Also digging in my garden, or if all else fails, ranting to my husband. He’s very patient and let’s me vent it all out of my system. Then I’m good and get back to writing.
Anna says
oh no, not a KINGS fan!
although being a Niners fan as of the last several years as been a soul destroying I mean strengthening sort of walk.
this made me giggle. ta love…
and yes, sport is one way of getting ones head out of the mind numbing cloud of what the business side of writing entails…
Marilyn Peake says
I. Did. Not. See. That. Update. About. The. Paris Hilton. Chihuahua. Book. Noooooooooo…
Oh, wait, positive spin – that is a truly perfect ending to Negativity Week. 🙂
T. Anne says
My favorite distraction? Writing.
Ash D. says
Dara – I agree about the AC house being bigger than my real house! Although, at least with my real house, I never have to wonder what the Happy Room Academy will have to say about any new furniture I buy 😉
And making fan videos is so fun and addictive! It’s very therapeutic to take much-loved characters and favorite scenes, rearrange them and put them to a fitting piece of music!
Good stuff! Glad to know I’m not alone in my choice of hobbies 🙂
Writer from Hell says
for the moment: The stone roses – Where angels play
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7szkhv77rE
(audio only)
Anonymous says
Reading, bubble baths, American Idol,Ghost Hunters,America’s Next Top Model(did you see the girl with huge fishy eyes?),and knitting—I can only make scarves (if anyone needs one).
Coll
Anonymous says
Losing myself in a good TV show or movie. Or reading a good book. Playing Texas Hold’em either online or at the home of buddies once a month. Gardening.
But when all else fails, curling up into a fetal ball, sucking my thumb and banging my forehead slowly against a wall to the opening section of the theme from the movie version of ‘Exodus’…sometimes, to put in a bit of variety, I’ll do it to ‘Thus Sprake Zarathustra’ sometimes identified as the theme for 2001. Painful,of course, but a good pain. And I feel so much less frustrated when I quit.
Allegory19 says
I couldn’t agree more Coll – except I crochet instead of knit. I finished my first baby blanket in 2 days! Nothing like mindless repetition to get my mind off rejection. =)
joelle says
Cubs fan here. I got your frustration. A hundred years of it.
Great advice. And baseball season starts soon so I’m covered.
Elizabeth Cota says
The master chief and I spend a lot of time killing covenant and flood to get over trying to be a professional author.
On the other hand, I’m also finishing a master’s thesis in economics, so that’ll take you someplace sci-fi doesn’t go so easily. Once that is done (please soon!!!) hopefully a day job will take its place.
Anonymous says
Hey, who was it that was going to put query letters for us to comment on their own personal site? Are they still doing that?
sex scenes at starbucks says
Beer.
Tiffany Schmidt says
My day/pay job is a 6th grade teacher and you’re absolutely right about how perspective is so important. Sometimes when I see the kiddos stressed out over a B on a test or not wearing the right skinny jeans or who has the newest sparkliest cell phone, I want to say “Seriously? You’re upset over that? It’s not a big deal.” But it is a big deal to them – in the same way rejection or publication industry angst is a big deal to me. I’m sure others would look at me and think the same things. So I try and follow the same advice I give them: Being stressed isn’t healthy or productive; it just drains energy. Look for ways to change/fix a stressful situation. Breathe! (This one last one we painted across our ceiling tiles).
sex scenes at starbucks says
anon 11:43– a great way to get feedback on queries is at https://crapometer.blogspot.com
word ver: reads
Seriously.
Nathan Bransford says
Anna-
Did I mention I’m also a 49ers fan?
Tyler says
Oh, the Kings! And Anna-the 49ers are on the upswing, Woot singletary!
But yes, it’s very easy to go NUTS with all the waiting and research and blogs, not to mention the-gasp-writing.
My distractions: reading and playing water polo.
Eiko says
The Hills. I have no idea why (well I do, but now is not the time for an analysis of its brilliance) but it works.
Also – you are amazing. It was comforting to read this post.
Anonymous says
Thanks, SSAS!
ANON 11:43
Steve Fuller says
Nathan,
Try living in Cincinnati and being a Bengals fan.
Talk about frustration and despair.
writermomof5 says
Ah… 49er fans must stick together in these trying times.
I play. Walk away from the keyboard, grab a ball, a child or two — there’s enough around her believe me — and go outside and play. If it’s ugly outside, balloon volleyball… does the trick every time.