Advice! It abounds. It proliferates. It exfoliates.
But advice? Not always helpful. In fact it can be downright unhelpful. Often comically so.
So you tell me on this Wednesday: what’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
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It took me a long time to break away from the always/never rules. Ya know what? I found I like adverbs here and there and sometimes a dialog tag other than said works very nicely. also use an occassional exclamation point when someone exclaims.
It is MY book, after all.
Don’t read in your own genre; it’ll muddy your originality and you’ll turn out nothing but derivative crap.
(Seriously.)
I don’t have any great pearls of wisdom as regards advise I’ve received about my writing. I will say that the most valuable general advice I receive comes from the Nathan Bransford – Literary Agent blog site, and it has the advantage of being entertaining to boot.
I do have sort of a parallel outside of writing and publishing. In an interview I once watched, Dick Clark was asked if he gave performers advice and how such advice worked out. He spoke of two instances. The first involved Danny and the Juniors. No, not the 1988 University of Kansas National Champion basketball team starring Danny Manning. I digress. Clark told the group that they should alter a song they were about to release. It was called Do the Bop. He told them that the bop was on its way out and that might limit the life of their release. The reworked the song, and the hit At the Hop was born. Dick was quick to point out that his was not always a Midas touch. Bobby Darin asked him to listen and render an opinion regarding a preliminary cut of Mack the Knife. Clark advised him against varying from the good thing going with formula rock and roll songs such as Splish Splash. The rest is history.
I know, totally off subject…
but from your post (here) about literary fiction:
“The book industry really needs an Oscars, because let’s be honest, the best part of the Oscars is the horrendous fashion choices, and the publishing industry does horrendous fashion better than anyone. One spin around a publishing function and the fashion police would lock down the venue and declare martial law.”
So right on.
I would love to see a “You Tell Me” about what people are wearing at the time they are reading the post.
Worst advice:
Being in a room where everyone writes ONE way
and then,
before they have heard a word of a new work or writer, they all reach for their big red pens.
or
before they have heard a word of a new work or writer, they all reach for their book of happy face stickers
or
when hearing a work of fiction, they decide that it is ALWAYS still secretly your own personal story.
(ripping hair from head)
Best Advice I have heard:
-go further, dare to let yourself show up as the writer you want to be with the original voice that you and you alone can contribute to the arena
and
Nathan Bransford’s blog -wow -what a resource!
-Thanks!
Both of these were directed to the whole class I was in, rather than me personally.
“Write what you know” – from a junior high English teacher who proceeded to tell us that we were only allowed to write pre-teen drama.
“Use a thesaurus to spice up your writing” – from more than one English teacher. (No. This makes writing sound forced and unnatural more often than not.)
As an English teacher, I’m cringing at the first one! Wrong on so many levels, from misunderstanding that writing can also be an act of empathy to the implied message that students have nothing more to their lives than tween ‘drama.’
As to the thesaurus, I use one all the time. BUT, only to remind me of words I already know.
Using the thesaurus only makes it sound forced if you make bad choices. Using the same word redundantly should generally be avoided. According to Murphy’s Law, you never can think of an alternative word when you need one. That’s why Anton J. Anti-Murphy invented the thesaurus. I write fiction.
“Happy endings are easy, unsatisfying, and unrealistic. Never end happy.”
An English teacher wrote that at the end of a short story I wrote in high school. I’m guessing he was going through a rough patch?
I was told to add “fluff” to my work so that it would be longer.
Any sentence that uses “was” is written in passive voice.
No words can describe how truly stupid this statement is. The people who believe this are obviously NOT writers, but the scary thing is they think they are.
From a non-writer: Your story is okay, but listen, I’ve got a story for you.
From an agent recently rejecting my book: Your book needs to be more like Gone with the Wind.
BTW: My book is nothing like Gone with the Wind, not in location, era, or even story line. Perhaps they were looking for the next Gone with the Wind, but I’m not that type of writer.
I tell people in my apartment building
I’m a CPA who works from home.
It’s best that way. I never have to stare in the oncoming headlights wondering why the shiny black rock I am standing on has symmetrical yellow lines crossing it.
They told me to live first. I’ve been doing it for 39 years and I can’t seem to kick the habit.
What crippling advice to a young writer. Because when you’re a teenager (or younger) you automatically think “but I don’t KNOW anything”.
The advice should be “live and learn to incorporate it into your writing”
Also high up there are the people who tell me I have to fill out these character sheets with things like “favorite color” on them. How exactly is that suppose to help build characters? Questionnaires that have 6 pages of questions that give no real insight as to what MAKES the character are boring to fill out and annoying to navigate once a story gets going.
Best advice on character building: Pick two positive traits and one flaw – build from there.
Nikki — Also high up there are the people who tell me I have to fill out these character sheets with things like “favorite color” on them.
Oh, gads, I hate those things! 😛 There was, like, a decade or so when they were incredibly popular and everywhere you turned there was someone waving The Perfect Character Questionnaire around and insisting that you couldn’t possibly “really” know your characters unless you could say what they’d had for breakfast the previous morning and what color their favorite socks were. Good grief….
Angie
Two pieces of bad advice:
Look at the books of any really famous author and copy their writing style. Obviously since they were published, I needed to write like them. It led to much frustration until I realized the only style I could use was my own.
Draw pictures of my characters (in the same sense of the character sheets) so I can truly get to know them. I can’t draw to save a life, so more frustration.
Furious D, Margaret Atwood has an English agent, I believe.
The worst (I don’t know if you can call it advice) thing I have heard, was from my mother-in-law. I was approached by my dream publisher to write her story. After a few rounds of revisions (who doesn’t have to deal with those), she told me that the publisher probably wanted her to write the story, herself, and didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Sure, publishers love to spend money on editors just to save a writer’s ego. I handed her the publishers number and told her to call him. She never bothered to call, and dropped it after that.
Oh, and I’ve heard a few people (and they were bloggers) say that blogging was a waste of time, when it comes to getting published. First, it is good writing practice. Second, it is a great way to network and connect with other writers. Third, you just might learn something. And finally, it worked for me! And, a good thing, because I was drowning in slush.
PublishAmerica is the best place for your book because they’re a “traditional publisher” that will “take care” with your book.
I’d like to break the three leaders of that cult with actual work!
About “write what you know”- I do think J.K. Rowling knew about loneliness and families and challenges- about English schools and games and teachers- about pain and loyalty and love and death, so yes, she did write what she knows. That’s the core stuff- the rest is just fun stuff she made up…
Well, actually Rowling did study the classics in college (and I’m talking Greek and Roman myths, among many others) so she really does know her history as well as myth-making. So she really knew about the animals and creatures and herbs “witches” used and so forth in myths. It wasn’t just stuff she made up out of nowhere. I’m only pointing this out because I don’t think Rowling gets enough credit for that.
I really can’t remember the worst writing advice I ever had. I don’t think anyone’s ever really taken the time (in my personal life) to advise me. But the best advice I’ve heard anyone give to writers in general is: Read a lot. Read widely.
I love this comments thread!
Worst advice:
“Pretend to be your own agent so you can submit to publishers who don’t take unagented authors.”
I did *not* try this.
And the “nevers”: never use forms of “to be” because it’s all passive voice (it’s not) never use adverbs because they weaken your writing (they don’t), never use words ending in “ing” because they’re gerunds (they’re not) and gerunds are bad (they’re not).
“Write crap, cuz that’s what sells.”
“Why don’t you get published? You’re such a good writer.” I was told that when I was about thirteen, for heaven’s sake.
“Study computer programming. No one ever makes money writing.”
Advice that, to me, sounded bad:
Find a published book similar to the one I’m writing and use it as a template.
Here’s another that made me shudder:
Young readers always read “up” so make your MG protagonist older.
Don’t split your infinitives. They’re so much more fun if you split them, endless opportunities, just consider the atom. MH
I paid for this critique of my picture book: Take out the plot and characters and turn it into a concept board book. Could have worked, I suppose — but that wasn’t a book I had any interest in writing.
The worst advice I ever got, from someone critting my work on a critique site (not an editor or an agent or a CW prof, but another writer, someone who write SF horror):
“Your work is boring and depressing. You need to spice it up a little. People want to read about happy things and romance. Your work is about unhappy people with conflicts. I don’t usually like to write bad things about other people’s work but this really is boring. No one is like you MC, well I know people like her but I don’t want to read about someone like her who is ‘interesting’ and thinks. You don’t need the interludes where we find out what she is thinking about her mother’s murder. Give up on this.”
Thank you very much for your subjective opinion there. It’s a good job I have skin as thick as an elephant 🙂
I am finding critting websites puzzling. The score so far: love it 15 hate it 2.
That the only good writing is fast writing. If you can’t write a novel in two months, you’re doing something wrong. If you take your time, the writing will be bad. Stopping to revise anything is the kiss of death.
This gem was touted by a husband-wife team doing seminars at a writing conference.
Oddly enough, the writers I admire most–the ones who write with the most depth and beauty–tend to take at least a year, and often quite a bit longer, to finish a novel.
The worst advice I ever received was from one of my editors, who said to cut the 1st 80 pages of my book, and to change the last 100 pages of the book to be in only one of my characters’ viewpoints. Then to top it off, the editor wanted me to put a pivotal scene in the book into a FLASHBACK. (By the way I didn’t make any of those changes, and that particular book won an award that year.) So now I’m going to post anonymously 🙂
As a newbie, I took a creative writing class from a college-extension program. As part of his introduction, the instructor said–I’m so tired of stay-at-home moms thinking they can make an extra buck writing novels. Well, I was a stay at home mom. 7 years later and my 5th book comes out next month.
“Trouble writing? Well, obviously you’re not meant to be a writer.”
Worst advice ever. I know I’m not the best at writing, but you should at least try to explain to someone how you think they could improve!
I recently entered one of my YA ms. into a contest. The comments were varied – one judge LOVED it and told me it should be published; another hated it. So much so he/she told me to “take a writing class” and that my characters were “predictable.” I think there’s nothing worse than giving a writer the advice to take a class. It’s assuming that the writer just slapped some words on a page and shoved it at the contest coordinator without a thought. Very insulting.
And K.S. Clay – I can’t tell you HOW MANY TIMES I get that. “You should write this-and-that” instead of what I’m currenty working on. Drives me nuts.
*”You should be a children’s writer.” When I didn’t like being a child. Nor do I particularly like children.
* “You should write about…”
when I am happily humming along with the current project, thank you.
*2000 words of critique in which the other writer essentially rewrote my book to fit her shallow sensibilities. She changed the plot, the characters, the climax and the ending.
*OF course, “Why don’t you self publish?” This one I can’t comprehend. Do people not understand what it takes to market a book, and how lowly regarded self published ones are?
*”How about sending your book to________(insert successful author’s name)?”
What is that supposed to do? Warn her she has competition, or make her laugh?
Worst advice I ever received regarding writing: Don’t write what you know.
If you don’t know something and want to write about it–research. Then you know it.
Second piece of bad advice: Don’t read and write daily.
If you don’t set aside a time each day to write your muse will be fickle. Then you have to wait for inspiration to “strike.” However, if you set aside a certain time each day and are faithful to it, your muse will be as reliable as you are at showing up. That’s what newbie writers don’t know. It’s a discipline, the same sort of discipline that requires you to finish what you start. Even if it sucks.
Third worst piece of advice: All the nevers and musts by all the well-meaning writers swimming in the same shallow pond who are afraid to strike out upstream alone.
There’s only one rule in writing (with one caveat): There are no rules. Everything in moderation.
Even though I am now reporter/editor of a newspaper, I still give up the same hour or two of sleep each day, including holidays, to meet my muse and write my novels. I am presently at work on my sixteenth. I read every night before bed.
Not going into particulars, but just general, cutting comments from crit partners and others offering “advice”. There’s a lot of nastiness out there. I’m all for constructive criticism, but it seems sometimes that unpubbed writers are worse with the cutting comments than those published, or at least represented by agents. Certainly much more cutting that industry professionals, in my experience.
Some crit groups are toxic. Sometimes I think it would be better simply not to be in one. *sigh*
The worst advice I ever read was in an issue of some or other writing magazine. The author of this article advocated replacing every single adverb with a metaphor. For “carefully,” she suggested something like: “like a bloodhound sniffing another dog’s butt.” I kid you not. She had another one about a rainbow hummingbird. Honestly, when given the choice between an adverb an a dog butt? I’ll happily, readily, gladly, enthusiastically choose the adverb!
I have to say, I’m appalled at the number of writers commenting that they’ve paid someone to help them with their work and received dreadful advice in return. I realize there are a lot of charlatans in any industry, but it’s heartbreaking to see it happen in this one.
I’m a professional writer and editor of thirty years. I work with fiction writers not because it’s lucrative–it’s not–but because it’s my favorite form of editing. I would never take on a client without giving them a sample edit to show them I actually know what I’m doing.
In fact, I’ve recently begun posting free advice on fiction writing on my new blog at: https://www.victoriamixon.com Please feel free to visit!
I’m a little late to this post because I was waiting to sign a contract. The worst advice I received was from a writer in residence at a local library who told me that no children’s publisher would publish a book with the word ‘dead’ in the title in which a frog dies in the opening scene. Well … I will be publishing my debut novel for young readers Dead Frog on the Porch in the fall of 2009 with Gumboot Books out of Vancouver. So, there you have it.
My grandmother-"Why don't you just go on Oprah? Everything she touches turns to money."
"Right Grandy and how do you propose I do that?"
"Call her."
"Okay, I'll get right on that…"
Ps-my grandmother is from another country and sincerely believes I can just call the Oprah show because i am a "smart girl" and Oprah helps people like me…
Worst advice ever –
"Take drugs to get in the creative mood."
A very smart poet once told me:
The first person narrator must be wise.
It was bad advice and I didn't believe her—Huck Finn may be wise, but a lot of the humor relies on the reader knowing more than he does.
This came from a substitute teacher in my creative writing class in High School. He was looking over my shoulder at a story I was revising.
He said, "That's good, only, I would have the character say this:___"
It sounded really good, but I later found out that that was a quote, word for word, from a movie.
I loved reading these postings, some of them were very funny. My worst advice given has been, to describe a magical spell thats cast each and every time that it's used. Hello thats being redundant and just would annoy my readers. This was on chapter eight and the title stated that it was chapter 8.
That would be like describing your character again in each and every chapter. One I don't think that it's a good idea to fully describe your main character in one go I like to sprinkle that info here and there when it fits a scene.
I'm thinking of setting up a critique forum, if any one is interested in being a moderator let me know at: vaporlight AT aol DOT com
I'd like ti to mainly consist of writers who have been at this for at least two years and know the rules and when to ignore them.
You are so good why don't you follow the guidelines for harlequin romances. Maybe make a couple bucks!
Oh? Kay You better lay off the sauce, because you're not understanding the point of this article at all.