Advice! It abounds. It proliferates. It exfoliates.
But advice? Not always helpful. In fact it can be downright unhelpful. Often comically so.
So you tell me on this Wednesday: what’s the worst advice you’ve ever received?
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shilohwalker says
worst advice ever…
“You’ll never be able to sell to New York unless you can write a complete, comprehensive synopsis.”
Anonymous says
Be sure to take your work directly to the agent’s office?
Scott says
Big heh, anon.
Not advice about the “craft” per se, but I was once advised to send an MS to an L.A. TV producer.
Don’t. Just please don’t.
TALON says
I think the worst advice about writing comes from those who don’t write…
To me, writing is a two-part process. There’s the creative process and the business process…and those who aren’t creative, really don’t get the creative part of writing.
Jeanie W says
Beta-readers advised me to submit my MS before it was ready.
I’m leary of any advice that includes the words ALWAYS or NEVER: ALWAYS show and NEVER tell; NEVER use adverbs; NEVER use more than “So-and-so said” in your dialog tags; NEVER use the passive voice. Perhaps a writer should be extra aware of the frequency with which she uses these things and pay close attention to their suitability in context, but each work dictates its own balance.
Anonymous says
You MUST join a critique group.
—
Critique groups are time consuming.
If you have a limited amount of writing time, they might not be a good bet. Especially if you are a good self-critiquer.
Also, not all critique groups are HELPFUL. Joining a group just to be in a group is a HORRIBLE idea.
Jen Turner says
Worst advice I’ve received:
“Remove all your commas. Editors don’t like commas and they pull the reader out of the story.”
I never knew the comma had such power…
Julie says
“Writing doesn’t have to have dragons and vampires in it to be interesting.”
Let me say that I write Fantasy, which apparently is a terrible thing according to my creative writing teacher at the time. I dropped the class, didn’t write for three months then said screw her, she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.
Margaret Yang says
Participate in NaNoWriMo.
Works for some. Not for me.
Terra Chandler says
Plan out your entire book. Makes things easier.
WRONG!!! VERY VERY WRONG!!!! *sigh* So much clean up to do.
Deaf Brown Trash Punk says
i HATE it when people try to CHANGE my story by suggesting new characters, new plots, or putting in new dialogue.
NO NO NO! that’s NOT whatI want to hear!
The Crystal Faerie says
Hm…the worst advice I’ve ever recieved as far as writing goes is probably “If it’s not coming easily, put it down. You aren’t meant to write if you have to try”
From the Creative Writing Teacher!! lol
-Laurana Adams
Angelica says
Not sure if it was advice, a critique, or a comment, but this was definitely useless: “Fails the fictional dream.” (Part of the notes from another member of my critique group) What am I supposed to do with that? What does it even mean?
Dan says
The worst advice I ever received was “keep writing” – because that’s what I did.
Melanie Avila says
I second Jeanie W. The always and never rules can really mess with you when the story is flowing. Overuse is bad, I understand that, but no one wants to read something full of “he did this, and then he did this.”
Anonymous says
Not necessarily the worst, but the most useless I can recall is the old chestnut of “Write what you know,” which is rarely (if ever) explained in such a way that you could ever write a non-contemporary fiction story.
For example, if you’re writing a fantasy novel, how does that work again? I mean, not many people I know have had experience using magic in a great battle leading an army of dwarves and cat-people into a massive battle with dragons and elves to save the kingdom.
Sprizouse says
“Write what you know.”
Heard that from a creative writing professor about my manuscript centered around a family of women (I’m a dude).
Oh yeah, thought I? Well where the heck does Harry Potter come from then? Since when is Rowling a wizard and a boy wizard at that???
Loren Eaton says
When my associate editor told me I couldn’t do it. (“Writing is a problem for you …”)
Elissa M says
Worst writing advice I ever got:
This is great, send it off now. Second worse:
Agents just rip you off, don’t bother with them.
Kerry Blaisdell says
Worst advice: Way too much to repeat here.
Best advice: Trust yourself, and trust your own work.
Which pretty much countermands *any* bad advice out there. *:?)
Anonymous says
worst adive? When I was getting ready to query agents, I had a few people tell me to stick to NY…that getting an agent outside of the city was not a good idea. Well, my top of the list agent is in San Diego…I stuck to my guns…got an offer from an agent in New York, and my topper from San Diego…I signed with San Diego and she sold my first book last month.
so, I’m glad I didn’t listen.
Annalee says
From a creative writing teacher at my first college: “I get one like you in every class. You’re a promising writer, but you’re wasting your time on genre fiction that’ll never be worth anything.”
His only novel, unpublished, happened to be about a creative writing teacher’s struggles with life and love.
Kat Harris says
Saying I’m “telling” too much instead of “showing,” when the person critiqueing didn’t know the difference himself.
Bob Day says
people told me to go to school to be a writer. im a high school drop out, and a jr. high flunkie. now im 25, and im going for it, why waste time with school? i already know what i wanna do. i swallow books whole, and write daily. i thinks that’s well good. plus, i have a cat. besides, when i tell people im a writer they kinda look at me funny, usually it’s not even worth metioning.
Vieva says
The only comment one person gave me on a FINISHED MS – “Change it to third person.”
No explanation why, no comments about the rest of the story – just “change it to third”. Irritated the snot out of me.
EVEN IF it had been the right move for the novel (it wasn’t – it would have been a completely different story had I done that. It was in first for a reason) it still was impossible to understand without context!
Jay Montville says
“Go to law school.”
I’m kidding…that’s the worst life advice I got, not the worst writing advice. 🙂
I don’t really think it’s possible to give the worst writing advice, because it all depends on the circumstances. Sometimes “no adverbs” is the right advice for the story at hand. (Although “remove all commas” seems Super Dumb.) And sometimes what I think is bad advice is actually good advice that I can’t see because of my pride and ego.
No, I take it back…the comma thing that Jen Turner mentioned…that’s the worst.
Lehcarjt says
Worst advice…
A critiquer once took a chapter of mine and rewrote it almost to the word. I ended up feeling like the ‘advice’ was more about them showing off their skills and knowledge rather than helping me.
I’ve noticed this a lot since this first experience and not just in critiquing. A lot of people give advice / help out of desire to feed their own ego.
Anonymous says
I once sent a ms to an agency which asked authors to respect its ‘no simultaneous submissions’ policy.
I waited- for almost a year- without hearing…then sent out my ms to other agencies.
SIX YEARS LATER I recieved notice from the post office to come pick up a package. It was that ms, only the SASE I’d put on it six years prior did not cover the new postage changes.
I actually had to pay the postage difference to get back a form rejection.
Hmmmmmm.
NP says
“Oh, that’s good enough.”
K.S. Clay says
“You should write about (insert person’s life story here)”
People often feel the need when they find out I write to tell me what to write, and what they think deserves to be written is always some event from their life that had a big effect on them. My thought is always: If you think it deserves to be written, why don’t you write it?
Julie says
Worst writing advice ever:
“War and Peace – now that’s a good book. Why don’t you write a book like that?”
(must give credit – that’s actually the caption to a New Yorker cartoon my writing prof had hanging on her office door.)
nightsmusic says
Jen, I have a friend who, on her tag line on our board writes, “I never met a comma I couldn’t misuse.” She’d have had a field day with that ‘take out all the commas’ comment! lol
Worst advice I ever got:
You MUST follow the rules!
Heck with that. Yes, I understand passive vs active, I understand what the overuse of adverbs does, and I try to make my story as active as possible still; It’s MY voice, not some rule-writer’s who’s probably never sold a book in their life.
Anonymous says
As an editor who is constantly inserting missing commas, the comma advice tops my list as Bad Advice. STRUNK AND WHITE, people!
As a writer, most lately for me, it’s applying novel-writing advice to my short stories. I don’t actually have ten pages to build the world and nail down backstory.
Brian F. says
“The first page of your novel MUST include the protagonist’s sex, age, physical description, and location. Preferably, this is all revealed in the first paragraph.”
And I won’t say who told me that.
Any bit of writing advice that acts as an absolute is hooey.
Alexandra says
“Beginners shouldn’t start out writing novels.”
…so when do I start? 20 years down the road when I am an established short story author?
Also, from the professor of my current fiction writing class:
“You shouldn’t give constructive criticism because only telling the good things lets the author automatically know what needs work. If it wasn’t praised, then it obviously needs work.”
…umm, no, it just wasn’t mentioned. I learn more from constructive criticism than from knowing what works.
Tom Geller says
“You can’t make a living as a writer. Nobody makes a living as a writer.”
From my father, a high-school English teacher. Bitter much?
Annette Lyon says
Two gems:
#1: The flip on one above: Don’t bother with a critique group.
They may not be for everyone, but I wouldn’t be published without mine.
#2: Don’t bother. The odds are against you. Chances are, no one in this class will ever be published.
This from a university creative writing professor. I so wanted to mail him a copy of my first book with “neener, neener” on the inscription. I settled for a postcard with the cover on it and wrote a pleasant note “from a former student.”
zhadi says
I was once advised to call an agent I’d never met nor been introduced to formally or informally. I didn’t do it.
ehadams23 says
One person in a writing class told me I should change my story from a paranormal spy thriller to a story about paranormal high school kids because the spy genre was dumb and overrated.
Furious D says
“Try to get a Canadian agent.”
No offence, but the Canadian agents I’ve dealt with… well, the one that actually bothered to respond to my query, are only interested in you if you already have a publishing deal, or are signed to another agent they can poach you from. So unless you’re already Margaret Atwood, you can forget it.
jo says
“Genre fiction is on it’s way out, and stories with twist endings won’t sell.”
I’m no expert, not even published…but that definately doesn’t seem to be the case…
Brian Davidson says
Worst advice:
Don’t use short or run-on sentences, or one-sentence, one-word paragraphs.
Never use “said.”
“Don’t make stuff up.” Had a professor tell me that one.
Kathleen says
I third the always and never rules. They had me tied in knots when I first started writing!
Like the “Never use an adverb because they’re telling instead of showing” rule. I, knowing the many forms that adverbs can take, thereby drove myself distracted trying to figure out how to eliminate “always” from a character’s thoughts, without giving ten pages of backstory, listing every time over the person’s life that they’d “always” done the thing! And then there are the adverbs that describe adjectives…
The “rule” should have been, “Never use an adverb unless you’ve already considered every other option and you have a darn good reason as to why the adverb is the best way to portray what’s happening.”
As for the “Write what you know” rule, I’m a big proponent of that, but you can’t take it quite so literally. To me, it means to base your story on what you know. So… you’re writing fantasy. Much of fantasy gets its roots in reality, or in a version of reality that someone wishes was real. You may have never lead dwarves on a march against a wizard, but have you ever found yourself up against something bigger and stronger than you? The emotions that you felt then is what’s real, and they can be translated to the fantasy realm.
And then, research can supplement what you know…
acpaul says
From my critique group:
3 of 6 said I had too much detail.
The other 3 said I didn’t have enough detail.
How is this supposed to help?
Brad D. Green says
From my critique group:
3 of 6 said I had too much detail.
The other 3 said I didn’t have enough detail.
How is this supposed to help?
That puts you squarely in the middle. A good spot, no?
I’m currently getting this advice: suppress your style. It’s too unique.
Marilyn Peake says
I agree with Jeanie W. Quite a few ALWAYS and NEVER rules circulate around Internet writers’ groups, often taking on the power of urban myths. Some that I’ve found least helpful are: NEVER write in first person, ALWAYS show/don’t tell (I love writing that “shows” and have taught how to accomplish that in writers’ classes, but not with the suggestion to ALWAYS write that way), ALWAYS write what’s selling right now on the best-seller lists, you should ALWAYS have a critique group…and vampires can be found in cities. (Oh wait, different kind of urban myth…)
I’ve also seen this advice a few times in writers’ groups: grammar and spelling don’t matter. (Hello?? What??)
Worst advice, by far, though, is the many times I was told I absolutely needed to promote my books a certain way and dump huge sums of money and lots of time into it. Ouch!
Michael says
“Said” and “asked” are boring. Use more imaginative dialog tags like “whispered,” “intoned,” or the physically impossible “grinned.”
calendula-witch says
From non-writers: “Hey, you should write about _____” (whatever they’re interested in). Or, “Hey, have you heard of Lulu?”
From writers: “Do it this way, it works for me.” (my personal example is the Snowflake Method, which is clearly wonderful for the guy who invented it and many others who’ve used it, but it sucked all the creativity and fun out of my writing process. I hate that novel now and don’t even feel like revising it, even though it was a totally cool idea!)
AC says
One of my creative writing profs told us to always begin a story by stating exactly where the character is, i.e.,
“Sally was standing in the middle of a swamp in BFE State Park approximately 61 miles southeast of Dubuque when she noticed a man with a gun standing nearby.”
I mean, I guess this could work sometimes, but…always? Really?
Marilynn Byerly says
Angelica, a “fictional dream” is a term used by John Gardner in THE ART OF FICTION. He said that the writer creates a dream for the reader, and the writer must do nothing which wakes the reader up. Some writer mistakes which wake up the reader are poor grammar, bad word choices, viewpoint errors, authorial intrusion, character inconsistency, and the author’s failure to follow his own rules in worldbuilding.
I can’t think of any poor advice I’ve received on writing. Even inaccurate information has its value because it makes me figure out why the information is wrong.
I’ve had plenty of poor advice on the business of writing, however. Several trusted writing friends inadvertently suggested publishers who turned out to be crooked or incompetent. I no longer trust their wisdom on the subject.