Holy Tyra! Thanks so much to the Blogger team for making this today’s Blog of Note, and a warm welcome to everyone visiting for the first time. We talk about books, reality TV shows, publishing, monkeys, writing, and Cormac McCarthy, not necessarily in that order.
If you’re a writer (and really, who isn’t these days?) be sure and check out the Essentials on the right side of the page, and especially the FAQs.
Transition.
I’ve blogged previously about my love of the VH1 show Behind the Music, and honestly, the Very Special Episode on Milli Vanilli is one of the most cherished hours I have ever spent watching television. However, there is one phrase that some people use in query letters that never fails to remind me of the tragic lives of Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus as documented by a serious narrator on Behind the Music. And that phrase is “is shattered.”
“Is shattered” is used a lot in query letters. Here’s just a short list of some of the things that I have seen “shattered” in a query letter.
– Someone’s faith in the world
– Someone’s sense of complacency
– Someone’s optimistic outlook
– Someone’s heterosexuality
On the one hand this is good — if something is shattering, it suggests that something is going wrong, which means the book probably has a plot. Plot is good.
On the other hand, “is shattered” is kind of a cliche, and here’s why I would hesitate to recommend that people use it.
1) It’s passive. “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.” The passive voice is found in your query!
2) It’s vague. What does “is shattered” mean anyway? It’s very nonspecific, and when every word counts, it’s important to use words that count.
3) Agents see it so often. You couldn’t have known this, so as with anything else, don’t feel bad if you used it, and there’s no way I passed on your query just because you shattered something in your query. And I’m sure “is shattered,” as with anything else, has been used effectively sometime somewhere.
So in sum: be careful with “is shattered.” If you do, in the immortal words of the Behind the Music narrator, “it all came crashing down.”
Snotty McSnotterson says
Great blog!
Dan says
After the Kings traded Artest – any hopes Sacramento fans had of making the playoffs were shattered.
Congrats on the blog props – get ready for even more queries!
Andrew says
My entire approach to querying is shattered.
7-iron says
what could be more vague than something shattered? something seemingly shattered.
“After the fall of their quarterback, the Patriots’ season seemed shattered.”
Grafxgurl says
its such a dramatic expression!!
‘course if you hear it too often then its a bit like smashing plates and not like someone’s day was just ruined!!! 😀
first time here bloghopping through!!
congrats on being top of the list on Blogger!!
meryl's musings says
Congratulations for being the Blog of Note today. Looks like you’ve got some interesting information — I’ll be back! In the meantime, check out my blog if you are interested in reading about the upcoming MotoGP in Indianapolis this weekend.
Anonymous Gimp says
You know what would be great?
Query letter:
One man finds his word turned upside down after it was previously right side up when his faith in the glass and window industry is shattered… LITERALLY!!!
/ End /
What do you think, Nathan? Would you represent it?
Dan says
Nathan’s hopes of making the NBA were obliterated when he did not receive a phone call on draft day from David Stern.
As he sat alone at home trying to figure out how to put his life back together, his mind drifted back to a pick-up game he played earlier that summer. His lifelong dream now resembled those jagged pieces of glass that rained on him when someone shattered the backboard while posterizing him with an awe inspiring one-handed dunk. Though Nathan’s team lost that game (thanks to his lousy jump shot!), Nathan bounced back, more determined than ever to succeed.
Read the entirey story of how Nathan became a successful blogger and literary agent in my 320,000 word epic: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT PUBLISHING I LEARNED FROM SPORTS.
m clement hall says
“is shattered” is hyperbole.
If Cormac McCarthy is a subject for comment: I’d love to know how he gets away with his disdain for punctuation.
Geoff Schutt says
Nathan, my first visit to your site, and my congrats on being the “blog of note.” Eleanor and I will continue reading your words in the days and weeks to come.
— Geoff
As for today, Eleanor wants me to tell you that she is searching for three words between “H” and “Z” as part of her continuing narrative.
And this September especially, 51 years after “On The Road,” Eleanor responds to Kerouac’s words, and becomes a reflection of the “mad ones,” which is freedom — and survival.
Eleanor exists at:
https://geoffschutt.blogspot.com/
Heidi the Hick says
Oh, I’ve been shattered!
Then I came to my senses and got unshattered before it all came crashing down.
(bout time the blogger team discovered you!)
Saintcaio says
Cool,great blog
Dori says
Well, drat, my brilliant query strategy is shattered.
Mighty Mom says
Congratulations, Nathan! You deserve it. I’ve been following your blog for weeks now and only wish I found it sooner. When I finally land an agent you’ll have played a hand in getting me there. Thanks for caring enough about your industry to blog about it. It’s appreciated
dmitry says
Отличній блог! Спасибо мне очень понравился!
Nathan Bransford says
dimitry-
Вы радушны!
Anonymous says
You have absolutely shattered my complacency, not to mention my ennui and solipsism. I have reviewed my queries and I was devastated, bemused, titillated and darn-right flummoxed by the inadvertant cliches running rampant through them like chickens with their heads cut off. I am, in a word, kerfluffled by your observation. Chastened, even.
Anonymous says
m clement hall: Cormac McCarthy likely can get away with any darn thing he pleases. He’s arguably the greatest living american writer today. It tends to give him some leeway.
Julie Weathers says
1) It’s passive. “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.”
Nathan, I know you say query you first, but I have a question. With your dynamic web presence, you have to be swamped with queries. Does this maxim still hold true?
Congratulations on the recognition!
To the new visitors, yes, the archives are a treasure trove of information.
Nathan Bransford says
Julie-
Of course!
Conduit says
Us regulars don’t need no stinkin’ Blogger big-wig to tell us this is a Blog of Note, but hearty congratulations nonetheless.
Dwacon® says
Congrats on being blog du jour. Many are called but truly few are chosen.
My world was shattered when I saw none of my blogs were chosen.
Just kidding…
Kimberly Lynn says
What if we said “shattered” but linked it to a list of alternative words? Maybe even add the sound of crashing glass . . .
You could click on the link over and over again to break up the monotony of generic queries.
Joy says
Thanks for the welcome, and congrats on your “blogs of note” recognition!
Kim says
Nathan,
Great post and thank you.
LOL — I thought you were just using the “shattering” example of Lauren Conrad penning a book and not choosing you as her agent – but it’s true! At least the book deal part.
Geez, if she only knew what she was missing.
Silly girl.
ha!
Marilyn Peake says
Congratulations, Nathan, on having this site named a Blog of Note. I only recently discovered your Blog, and now pop in here every day. There’s so much wonderful information here, and always interesting discussions going on.
The other day, I was surfing the Internet, going from one writing site to another, and suddenly felt like I was swimming in a sea of books as far as the eye could imagine. I’m guessing the chance for repetition of individual words, themes, etc. must be greatly increased with so many people able to write and submit books on computers these days. I wonder if the word “shattered” arrived more sparingly on agents’ desks, when submissions had to be typed on typewriters and sent via snail mail.
Erik says
Very good post. I’ve been thinking of taking on another over-used word, “Rockstar” for my own blog. What do these words actually mean when the rubber hits the road?
(use of cliche for sarcastic effect)
miked says
I’m excited to have found your blog. Thankful to blogger for making it a blogs of note. Thank you for your insight and advice. Now I have to catch up on past posts.
Elizabeth Marie says
“Is shattered” – love that. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen it on a book flap. Great post!
lotusloq says
Finally to get the recognition you deserve! Your blog is fan-blooming-tastic! The best blog of note. I wish I had found it ages ago. At least now I know a bit more about what I’m supposed to be doing. Still working on perfecting it. I going to be at that for a long time.
btw, is that the piggly wiggly pig on your shirt in your profile pic? One more reason for receiving the blog of note. haha!
Nathan Bransford says
lotusloq-
Thanks so much, very nice of you to say!
And yup — definitely a Piggly Wiggly shirt from Apalachicola, Florida.
Scott says
Cormac McCarthy probably gets away with his disdain for punctuation because it fits his subject matter so well. It’s like he scratches his stories right into the desert floor. Wait, can the desert have a floor? I bet in McCarthy’s novels it can.
Anyway, congrats Nathan, and thanks for the tip.
Gwen says
LOL. Nathan, you are so amusing.
I am almost fond of the “is shattered” phrase. It reminds me of a mirror being smashed to pieces, and you have to either clean it up, try and make sense of the mess, or try and put it back together. I enjoy the imagery of a mirror lying in shards on the floor.
I am not, however, fond of the passive voice. My English faculty at my particular university makes it well known that if an English student EVER uses the passive voice in an essay, it will result in mark deduction. High price to pay, but only using the active voice makes your writing seem more immediate, more powerful.
/random!
Liza Knight says
Congrats on becoming a blog of note!
lindsey-leavitt says
Ah, really? Just a faint nod for LC? I read the blurb today and my first instinct was to check your blog for reactions. For example, this exact same YA book has already been published by another Lauren (Barnholdt) called Reality Chick–Simon Pulse I think.
Guess I’ll just hold out for Spencer’s memoirs. I expect full coverage then.
–Lindsey, who used a variation of shatters (crumbles) in her query and somehow managed to find her dream agent 🙂
mwolters says
I cannot tell you how much I love that you used the phrase, “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.” That’s why this is my favorite publishing/”The Hills” blog.
Oberon says
….congratulations on making blogs of note…..i wish i could get on blogs of note but…..apparently my material is too controversial….maybe it needs to be a book….we don’t censor books…..yet.
ORION says
oh no.
The space alien monkeys were shattered when they discovered a cat just out of rehab was writing their memoir…
I was shattered when I read the first sentence of the query.
A coming of age story both poignant and hilarious.
Another DaVinci Code ala Harry Potter…
Elyssa Papa says
Oh huge congrats, Nathan! That’s totally awesome and well-deserved.
I just saw on the news today that LC has a three-book deal. Wow to that and reality tv in making people famous.
Space monkeys. That always makes me laugh, for some odd reason.
lotusloq says
I thought I recognized that hat and…and those ears! They definitely have that certain “Je ne sais quoi” that add to the up and coming agent’s mystique. 🙂
7-iron says
I just read “satisfying conclusion” on the back cover of a book.
I really wanted to read this book but
my hopes were dashed, my dreams were shattered, my pants were wetted.
At least one of them is visual.
Kylie says
Now that you mention it, I can think of numerous times in books (and movies) where the blurb contains “is shattered.” Cliche, but at least its not a rhetorical question.
And I firmly believe Cormac McCarthy can do anything he wants. Awards will always find their magnet-like way to him regardless.
Josephine Damian says
m clement hall: How about McCarthy’s disdain for plain, old fashioned story-telling basics – like something actually happening in the first few chapters of THE ROAD?
Nathan, soon as I saw Lauren (!) got a book deal, I was shattered, and then I thought of you.
Reader says
Thought you might be interested to try this new Blogger template as your blog template. It seems to suit your blog style well.
Furious D says
None of my characters are ever shattered. They do the shattering.
Congrats on the “Blog of Note” status.
Don’t let it go to your head, leaving you intoxicated with fame. Because the last thing the world needs are Nathan Bransford upskirt shots all over the internet. 😉
Adaora A. says
This is why I love this blog. It’s the little things. You never think that certain words are over used and you use them, thinking it’s going to catch your eye and yet you’ve seen it 1000 times. It’s great that you’re so explicit here. You honestly rock.
A Paperback Writer says
Wow.
This is the first time I’ve ever been a regular reader at a blog of note before it was made one. I feel so special. 🙂
Congrats, Nathan.
Maris Bosquet says
Vast congrats on catching Blogger’s eye!
Anonymous says
And don’t even bother to google…the word shattered…it’s amazing what you’ll find. Even time Magazine is guilty of this sin.
Real C'ville - The Bubble Blog says
A lot of shareholders will be shattered when they discover Lehman Bros. Bank has sold itself, with help of Treasury Sec'ty Hank Paulson and the Fed, as stock will = zero….
….Which is what we was bloggin' about here in little ole Charlottesville, Virginia, where the housing bubble was late to pop.
C'ville is home to John Grisham, Ann Beattie, Rita Mae Brown, John Casey, Charles Wright, Rita Dove, and many other writers, so of course we hopped on over here when we saw this was the Blog of Note.
Good reading!
Thanks & Cheers.
(And if you're a customer of WaMu? Um, be sure to read the newspapers…or our blog. Click on the the death's head in the sidebar.)