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Welcome!

September 11, 2008 by Nathan Bransford 89 Comments

Holy Tyra! Thanks so much to the Blogger team for making this today’s Blog of Note, and a warm welcome to everyone visiting for the first time. We talk about books, reality TV shows, publishing, monkeys, writing, and Cormac McCarthy, not necessarily in that order.

If you’re a writer (and really, who isn’t these days?) be sure and check out the Essentials on the right side of the page, and especially the FAQs.

Transition.

I’ve blogged previously about my love of the VH1 show Behind the Music, and honestly, the Very Special Episode on Milli Vanilli is one of the most cherished hours I have ever spent watching television. However, there is one phrase that some people use in query letters that never fails to remind me of the tragic lives of Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus as documented by a serious narrator on Behind the Music. And that phrase is “is shattered.”

“Is shattered” is used a lot in query letters. Here’s just a short list of some of the things that I have seen “shattered” in a query letter.

– Someone’s faith in the world
– Someone’s sense of complacency
– Someone’s optimistic outlook
– Someone’s heterosexuality

On the one hand this is good — if something is shattering, it suggests that something is going wrong, which means the book probably has a plot. Plot is good.

On the other hand, “is shattered” is kind of a cliche, and here’s why I would hesitate to recommend that people use it.

1) It’s passive. “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.” The passive voice is found in your query!
2) It’s vague. What does “is shattered” mean anyway? It’s very nonspecific, and when every word counts, it’s important to use words that count.
3) Agents see it so often. You couldn’t have known this, so as with anything else, don’t feel bad if you used it, and there’s no way I passed on your query just because you shattered something in your query. And I’m sure “is shattered,” as with anything else, has been used effectively sometime somewhere.

So in sum: be careful with “is shattered.” If you do, in the immortal words of the Behind the Music narrator, “it all came crashing down.”

Filed Under: Writing Advice Tagged With: Cormac McCarthy, How to Write a Query Letter, The Hills

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. LindaBudz says

    September 11, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    Heterosexuality? Really? That doesn’t even make sense to me.

    Congrats on the much-deserved nod, Nathan!

    Reply
  2. Maris Bosquet says

    September 11, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    Critics, too, appear to resort to “is shattered” under duress–I mean, deadline.

    Take this opening ‘graph from Janet Maslin’s book review in today’s New York Times:

    “Francine Prose’s novel ‘Goldengrove’ starts out sounding dangerously like one of those books about that summer. You know the drill: An innocently happy family IS SHATTERED [caps mine] by an abrupt accident, disease, divorce, suicide, kidnapping, affair or other cosmic game changer.”

    Erg…

    Reply
  3. Nathan Bransford says

    September 11, 2008 at 11:59 pm

    You see, I think Ms. Maslin used the phrase “is shattered” very intentionally there because she’s alluding to those cliches she lists.

    Reply
  4. Alison says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:19 am

    I *knew* Lauren’s book deal would be making an appearance in your blog today! It was actually my first thought when I heard the news :).

    Reply
  5. Elisabeth says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:42 am

    Your blog rocks! Glad to see it get some Blogger love.

    Reply
  6. Polly Kahl says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:44 am

    Thank goddess I didn’t use the word Shattered in my query, because now maybe someone phenomenal will consider representing me. That Lauren may be smart and pretty but she’s a damn fool.

    Reply
  7. Lady Glamis says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:49 am

    Thank you for the hint. Since I will be sending you a query on my first novel soon, it’s nice to know what you like and don’t like. Not that I want to kiss up!

    Gotta work on that personalizing…

    Reply
  8. Jeanne says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:52 am

    Great inside information. Good to know in case I ever write a book about my shattered life. ha.
    I’m one of those people that is told they should write a book about their lives- all the time. Thanks to my very nutty family, lots of drama when I was a teen- and unusual experiences. Always try to explain to folks that I’m happily UN-shatterd, thank you very much, and not interested in being defined by the past by writing a book about it. I’d rather be defined by the awesome present. Besides- everyone has a story. Those “shattered lives” books must be a dime a dozen.
    Great blog.

    Reply
  9. Maris Bosquet says

    September 12, 2008 at 12:53 am

    Nathan,

    Ahhhh, I DO see. Now. The first time around, that string of cliches made me yech and flee the scene.

    On second reading, I appreciate what Ms. Maslin’s doing. But I still don’t think I’m going to read that book! (I’m just not into coming-of-age and smug attempts to disguise/elevate/reinvent the genre…Oh, excuse me. The Loved One just shattered my ego by whacking me on the head with a printout of my own smug attempt to disguise/elevate/reinvent the genre…)

    Reply
  10. Jessica says

    September 12, 2008 at 1:59 am

    First time reading your blog, and I am hooked.Congratulations on being noteworthy!

    https://noxysnotions.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  11. Tooj says

    September 12, 2008 at 2:21 am

    You have 61 comments with people finding ways to used “is shattered”? Hmmm. This blog fad just might be overrated. I was hoping to find more literary minds giving their two bits.

    Reply
  12. Alan Gay and Straight says

    September 12, 2008 at 2:58 am

    Great Blog and I did find it from the blogs of note.

    Reply
  13. Oh_bother says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:05 am

    I knew some folks from the UK who said someone was shattered if they were drunk, exhausted, etc. It was a while ago, though.

    “You look shattered.”

    Such a great expression.

    Reply
  14. Debbie Haughland Chan says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:34 am

    Yours is the first “Blog of Note” I have ever looked at and what a pleasant surprise! I’ll be coming back.

    Reply
  15. Twilights New Dawn says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:58 am

    Hello!

    I am a writer (ha, how many times have you heard that?) however that has little to do with why I’m writing in here.

    I saw your blogger on blogs of note and read what you had to say. You’re amusing and fun- at least in my opinion. I’ll more then likely watch your blog from here on because I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read thus far!

    Btw, my name is Erica (hi again)
    Have a good day and congrats on being featured. 🙂

    Reply
  16. Rushking says

    September 12, 2008 at 4:57 am

    Thank you for pointing out “shattered” – at least I learn something today.

    from: Rushking

    Reply
  17. hhan says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:02 am

    wow…nice blog

    regard
    https://gending-gending.blogspot.com

    Reply
  18. Bhavin says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:04 am

    Hi Nathan… I was just going through my blog and surfing some other blogs where I found an interesting blog of yours. I think people like me need your help to showcase our writing talent. Being an Indian, you shall find plenty of writing talent but the resources to showcase them are really scanty. I wish more people get chance to publish the novels. I am a writer and have written a fiction novel. I would be happy if you can guide me somehow. Thanks again.

    Regards,
    Bhavin

    Reply
  19. BiggieKen says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:15 am

    I liked the “shattered” blog. I’ll probably be subscribing in a minute or two based on that one entry alone. It was funny and informative!

    What else have you got?

    Reply
  20. Julie Weathers says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:16 am

    Tooj,

    You have 61 comments with people finding ways to used “is shattered”? Hmmm. This blog fad just might be overrated. I was hoping to find more literary minds giving their two bits.

    Peruse the archives. This is a light-hearted blog, but it’s pretty amazing how much useful information sifts through. This place, Miss Snark’s and Janet Reid’s Query Shark archives are a crash course on query writing.

    Tips on how to approach agents, edits, genres etc abound. It’s the nuts-and-bolts stuff that is just good information without all the fluff.

    Reply
  21. that girl says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:24 am

    thanks, and glad to be here! love your blog.

    Reply
  22. Bombchell says

    September 12, 2008 at 8:37 am

    ha ha ha I think i lost it at holy tyra!!!

    Reply
  23. ORION says

    September 12, 2008 at 8:57 am

    Nathan I did you the favor of translating the above comments…no need to thank me:

    Some group people are inquiring your whereabouts in all directions, added that will catch you not to forgive you lightly, their is called the God of Wealth, to call, the lead to call happiness smoothly! I had asked the worry, it has simply not liked you adding forever paid no attention to you to let me pass on you not to from do is full of affection! Also had the health to let me bring to seal the love letter to you, it unrequited loves you for a long time and chats to your life invariable video frequency, beautiful woman video frequency, chatroom

    Reply
  24. Anonymous says

    September 12, 2008 at 9:12 am

    Nice. Congratulations

    Reply
  25. Mundo de jinetes says

    September 12, 2008 at 9:36 am

    good!!

    post me plis

    by: mundo de jinetes

    Reply
  26. blue-office!!!! says

    September 12, 2008 at 9:49 am

    my dear friend ,you blog is very good!!.welcome you to my blog!!
    https://blue-office.blogspot.com

    Reply
  27. Trish says

    September 12, 2008 at 11:22 am

    hi!

    Reply
  28. hyacinthgirl says

    September 12, 2008 at 11:45 am

    As for Lauren Conrad, if I wasn’t aware of the fact that Gyspy Rose Lee “wrote” and sold a novel, I’d be devastated. As it is, I’m nonplussed and experiencing ennui.

    But congrats on your blog recognition! Well deserved!

    Reply
  29. David Mosley says

    September 12, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    Ok, so I read through some of the comments on your blog and all I have to say is, “Wow”. It is amazing how many people will just simply say, you’re great, and have no substance. I don’t mean to demean those faithful followers who hang on your every word, but still I see this all the time in online reviews, sometimes the same words are used. “Great book,” “Amazing,” “A must read for everyone”. Maybe I’m a little disenchanted, who knows.
    That aside, you could probably do a whole blog just on various words and phrases that should be avoided not only for being hackneyed phrases (hackneyed being on that list but a favorite word of mine to describe the situation, along with chestnut), but also because there are better ways to make your idea do more than just jump off the page.
    A good read on certain words and phrases that our English teachers told us not to use but really are ok is Miss Thistlebottom’s Hobgoblins. If you have not read it, you should, you will laugh aloud. It is written by Theodore Bernstein.

    Reply
  30. nona says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    “All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter bout
    Shmatta, shmatta, shmatta — I cant give it away on 7th avenue
    This towns been wearing tatters (shattered, shattered)
    Work and work for love and sex
    Aint you hungry for success, success, success, success
    Does it matter? (shattered) does it matter?
    Im shattered.
    Shattered”

    – Jagger/Richards

    congrats, nathan

    Reply
  31. Erik says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    Why does this blog keep returning to the fold of cliches when it should avoid them like the plague?

    I think you should quit this like a bad habit. But who am I, the Pope in Rome?

    [That was as painful to write as it is to read. Sorry. Had to.]

    I take on one of my favorite “super-cliches” in my blog, “Rockstar”.

    Reply
  32. Adaora A. says

    September 12, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    Down here (and I believe in the UK as well) ‘shattered’ can mean extremely exhausted and tired. And that’s usually how I use it. I couldn’t see myself using iti n a query for more then one reason now I guesss. 🙂

    Reply
  33. m clement hall says

    September 12, 2008 at 4:06 pm

    For over-used and inappropriate words, how about “sexy”?

    Reply
  34. A PROPHET OF GOD says

    September 12, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    “Shattered” is a very specific expression, it means “broken beyond repair”, like trying to piece together something made of glass, it is not redeemable.

    Reply
  35. R.J. Keller says

    September 12, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    Apropos of nothing in this particular post, I just wanted to say that I’m looking forward to reading “Churchill By Himself.”

    Reply
  36. ♥ Viv. says

    September 12, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    this is very helpful!!! gr8 blog!!!

    Reply
  37. Anonymous says

    September 14, 2008 at 12:45 pm

    Reminds me of the Billy Collins poem, Tension.

    Reply
  38. Anonymous says

    September 14, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    I can’t understand your blog. Maybe you should use smaller words. hehe.

    Reply
  39. Anonymous says

    September 16, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Bah humbug, let’s forget this shatter business and get down to the Milli Vanilli expose – I am SO intrigued!

    Reply
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Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m the author of How to Write a Novel and the Jacob Wonderbar series, which was published by Penguin. I used to be a literary agent at Curtis Brown Ltd. and I’m dedicated to helping authors achieve their dreams. Let me help you with your book!

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