Holy Tyra! Thanks so much to the Blogger team for making this today’s Blog of Note, and a warm welcome to everyone visiting for the first time. We talk about books, reality TV shows, publishing, monkeys, writing, and Cormac McCarthy, not necessarily in that order.
If you’re a writer (and really, who isn’t these days?) be sure and check out the Essentials on the right side of the page, and especially the FAQs.
Transition.
I’ve blogged previously about my love of the VH1 show Behind the Music, and honestly, the Very Special Episode on Milli Vanilli is one of the most cherished hours I have ever spent watching television. However, there is one phrase that some people use in query letters that never fails to remind me of the tragic lives of Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus as documented by a serious narrator on Behind the Music. And that phrase is “is shattered.”
“Is shattered” is used a lot in query letters. Here’s just a short list of some of the things that I have seen “shattered” in a query letter.
– Someone’s faith in the world
– Someone’s sense of complacency
– Someone’s optimistic outlook
– Someone’s heterosexuality
On the one hand this is good — if something is shattering, it suggests that something is going wrong, which means the book probably has a plot. Plot is good.
On the other hand, “is shattered” is kind of a cliche, and here’s why I would hesitate to recommend that people use it.
1) It’s passive. “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.” The passive voice is found in your query!
2) It’s vague. What does “is shattered” mean anyway? It’s very nonspecific, and when every word counts, it’s important to use words that count.
3) Agents see it so often. You couldn’t have known this, so as with anything else, don’t feel bad if you used it, and there’s no way I passed on your query just because you shattered something in your query. And I’m sure “is shattered,” as with anything else, has been used effectively sometime somewhere.
So in sum: be careful with “is shattered.” If you do, in the immortal words of the Behind the Music narrator, “it all came crashing down.”
Great blog!
After the Kings traded Artest – any hopes Sacramento fans had of making the playoffs were shattered.
Congrats on the blog props – get ready for even more queries!
My entire approach to querying is shattered.
what could be more vague than something shattered? something seemingly shattered.
“After the fall of their quarterback, the Patriots’ season seemed shattered.”
its such a dramatic expression!!
‘course if you hear it too often then its a bit like smashing plates and not like someone’s day was just ruined!!! 😀
first time here bloghopping through!!
congrats on being top of the list on Blogger!!
Congratulations for being the Blog of Note today. Looks like you’ve got some interesting information — I’ll be back! In the meantime, check out my blog if you are interested in reading about the upcoming MotoGP in Indianapolis this weekend.
You know what would be great?
Query letter:
One man finds his word turned upside down after it was previously right side up when his faith in the glass and window industry is shattered… LITERALLY!!!
/ End /
What do you think, Nathan? Would you represent it?
Nathan’s hopes of making the NBA were obliterated when he did not receive a phone call on draft day from David Stern.
As he sat alone at home trying to figure out how to put his life back together, his mind drifted back to a pick-up game he played earlier that summer. His lifelong dream now resembled those jagged pieces of glass that rained on him when someone shattered the backboard while posterizing him with an awe inspiring one-handed dunk. Though Nathan’s team lost that game (thanks to his lousy jump shot!), Nathan bounced back, more determined than ever to succeed.
Read the entirey story of how Nathan became a successful blogger and literary agent in my 320,000 word epic: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT PUBLISHING I LEARNED FROM SPORTS.
“is shattered” is hyperbole.
If Cormac McCarthy is a subject for comment: I’d love to know how he gets away with his disdain for punctuation.
Nathan, my first visit to your site, and my congrats on being the “blog of note.” Eleanor and I will continue reading your words in the days and weeks to come.
— Geoff
As for today, Eleanor wants me to tell you that she is searching for three words between “H” and “Z” as part of her continuing narrative.
And this September especially, 51 years after “On The Road,” Eleanor responds to Kerouac’s words, and becomes a reflection of the “mad ones,” which is freedom — and survival.
Eleanor exists at:
http://geoffschutt.blogspot.com/
Oh, I’ve been shattered!
Then I came to my senses and got unshattered before it all came crashing down.
(bout time the blogger team discovered you!)
Cool,great blog
Well, drat, my brilliant query strategy is shattered.
Congratulations, Nathan! You deserve it. I’ve been following your blog for weeks now and only wish I found it sooner. When I finally land an agent you’ll have played a hand in getting me there. Thanks for caring enough about your industry to blog about it. It’s appreciated
Отличній блог! Спасибо мне очень понравился!
dimitry-
Вы радушны!
You have absolutely shattered my complacency, not to mention my ennui and solipsism. I have reviewed my queries and I was devastated, bemused, titillated and darn-right flummoxed by the inadvertant cliches running rampant through them like chickens with their heads cut off. I am, in a word, kerfluffled by your observation. Chastened, even.
m clement hall: Cormac McCarthy likely can get away with any darn thing he pleases. He’s arguably the greatest living american writer today. It tends to give him some leeway.
1) It’s passive. “Nathan’s day is shattered when he finds out Lauren Conrad sold a book and he wasn’t the agent.”
Nathan, I know you say query you first, but I have a question. With your dynamic web presence, you have to be swamped with queries. Does this maxim still hold true?
Congratulations on the recognition!
To the new visitors, yes, the archives are a treasure trove of information.
Julie-
Of course!
Us regulars don’t need no stinkin’ Blogger big-wig to tell us this is a Blog of Note, but hearty congratulations nonetheless.
Congrats on being blog du jour. Many are called but truly few are chosen.
My world was shattered when I saw none of my blogs were chosen.
Just kidding…
What if we said “shattered” but linked it to a list of alternative words? Maybe even add the sound of crashing glass . . .
You could click on the link over and over again to break up the monotony of generic queries.
Thanks for the welcome, and congrats on your “blogs of note” recognition!
Nathan,
Great post and thank you.
LOL — I thought you were just using the “shattering” example of Lauren Conrad penning a book and not choosing you as her agent – but it’s true! At least the book deal part.
Geez, if she only knew what she was missing.
Silly girl.
ha!
Congratulations, Nathan, on having this site named a Blog of Note. I only recently discovered your Blog, and now pop in here every day. There’s so much wonderful information here, and always interesting discussions going on.
The other day, I was surfing the Internet, going from one writing site to another, and suddenly felt like I was swimming in a sea of books as far as the eye could imagine. I’m guessing the chance for repetition of individual words, themes, etc. must be greatly increased with so many people able to write and submit books on computers these days. I wonder if the word “shattered” arrived more sparingly on agents’ desks, when submissions had to be typed on typewriters and sent via snail mail.
Very good post. I’ve been thinking of taking on another over-used word, “Rockstar” for my own blog. What do these words actually mean when the rubber hits the road?
(use of cliche for sarcastic effect)
I’m excited to have found your blog. Thankful to blogger for making it a blogs of note. Thank you for your insight and advice. Now I have to catch up on past posts.
“Is shattered” – love that. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen it on a book flap. Great post!
Finally to get the recognition you deserve! Your blog is fan-blooming-tastic! The best blog of note. I wish I had found it ages ago. At least now I know a bit more about what I’m supposed to be doing. Still working on perfecting it. I going to be at that for a long time.
btw, is that the piggly wiggly pig on your shirt in your profile pic? One more reason for receiving the blog of note. haha!
lotusloq-
Thanks so much, very nice of you to say!
And yup — definitely a Piggly Wiggly shirt from Apalachicola, Florida.