Reader John Askins pointed me to an interview with Benjamin LeRoy, the publisher of Bleak House books, who offered quite a bit of awesome, quotable wisdom.
In particular, I’d point you to this fantastic nugget:
“As soon as I see awkward prose on page one, I reject a book. You wouldn’t trust a clumsy surgeon with a scalpel. I don’t trust authors who aren’t in complete control of their environment. Sloppy work is sloppy work. Doesn’t matter the profession, I don’t want it.”
This is very true, and perhaps the number one reason I reject queries and partials: awkward prose.
Allow me to use a basketball metaphor. LeBron James (who should win the MVP award this year without a contest and frankly if Kobe Bryant wins I might hurt someone) might dribble the ball off of his foot from time to time, but he’s not going to miss the backboard when he shoots a free throw. He’s not going to overthrow a pass to a teammate by 30 feet. There are certain mistakes he’s just not going to make in an NBA game because he’s an NBA caliber player.
The same goes for writing. There are some mistakes and awkward phrasing that a publishable writer just isn’t going to make — it wouldn’t even occur to them to make the mistake in the first place because it just wouldn’t look right. I’m not talking about typos, which are like turnovers, but repeated misuse of its/it’s, confusion of homonyms, run-on sentences, poor word choices… these are the equivalent of LeBron James missing the backboard.
This is also why I’m skeptical when people tell me they can write a compelling novel but not a query letter. Do you have a command of words or not? What if you need to craft a short, wonderful scene in your novel? You can’t marshal the words to write it because it’s too short of a space? You can’t convey a great deal of information with an economy of words? (And sure, Shaq can’t shoot free throws, but…. um…. did I say this was a perfect metaphor that would stand up to scrutiny?)
And then of course there is the fact that published authors have to write blurbs about their work and describe their work in a few compelling sentences all the time. I mean, when you go on Fresh Air and talk to Terry Gross about your novel and she asks you what your book is about, are you going to tell her that you can’t describe it in a few sentences but totally swear it’s a great novel and she should just read the first page instead?
Should I ask rhetorical questions the rest of the afternoon or should I stop now?
I’m sure there are instances when someone wrote a great novel but really did just lack the knowledge about how to go about writing a query letter (because if there’s anything I’ve learned in publishing it’s that there is an exception to everything), but this is all still hearsay to me and I haven’t personally seen it.
But most importantly, your command of words is what you’re banking on. It’s like musical ability to a musician, athletic ability to an athlete, swinging on trees to a monkey. If you got it you got it.
Do you have a command of words are not?
So is that a typo…or not?
Sorry, couldn’t resist, Nathan. 😛
Hahaha, thanks SS@S.
When is a typo more than a typo? Don’t know if I want to know the answer to that question.
NPR geeks unite!
Ummm….what about Chris Paul?
Please, please Nathan don’t tell me that you are that easily suckered by the “big names.” (Because I have a lot of respect for you and really want to keep it.)
Chris Paul is complete player who WINS games. James can score like nobody’s business, I’ll give you that, but wouldn’t you rather have a guy who can score 20+ per game AND make it easy for his teammates to score another 30, rather than a guy who simply scores 30 by himself?
Anyways…
I agree. If you got it you got it. I think that it is ludicrous that some aspiring writers expect agents and publishers to forgo their crap filter. People like to think that there are exceptions, but there are so few that they aren’t even worth mentioning. And until Nathan says he’s seen it, I won’t believe it. Good writers write well and bad writers don’t. Simple as that.
anon-
LeBron put up 30/8/7 on a one man team. It was an astounding season. Yes, this is the year Chris Paul became the best PG in the NBA, but I’m not really a fan of the “let’s give the MVP to the best player on the team with the best record” method. I think they’ll end up giving it to Kobe or Paul because their teams defied expectations, not because they had the best individual years.
Nathan, you make a good point. However, I see it from a different angle — the Hornets are one of the best team BECAUSE of Chris Paul, and Chris Paul alone. Without him, they’d be watching the playoffs from their $18,000.00 couches at home. Therefore, he is the prime MVP candidate: a guy who took a mediocore team and made them great. LeBron simply made a bad team in a bad conference, and okay team in a bad conference. Chris Paul is a more VALUABLE player. Value is the key word in MVP.
anon-
Chris Paul was integral to their success and if you took him away they wouldn’t be nearly as good, but they still had David West putting up 20/9, Peja playing well, and Tyson Chandler being a defensive beast. Not quite the same thing as playing with Zydrunas Ilgauskas and other assorted dinosaurs.
But all that said, I definitely think you could make a very solid case for Paul. Kobe on the other hand…. don’t even get me started.
Sheila Williams, editor of Asimov’s magazine, writes an editorial for every issue. In this month’s issue, she said that when she selects stories, she looks for someone who has control over her material, and makes her feel confident that she will enjoy the literary journey.
It’s hard to put your finger on it sometimes, but when I read someone like Neil Gaiman or Stephen King, I know I’m reading someone who knows how to use the tools in the toolbox. And yes, I know within the first few pages. If readers know, then agents know too.
The problem is that people can’t look at their own writing and know whether or not they are good. Like all the singers who audition for American Idol who think they are the best in the world and can’t hold a tune.
Who is the Simon Cowell of agents who will say, “Honey, don’t quit your day job! You just don’t have what it takes”?
What? Kobe is DA BOMB!
Haha, did I really just type that? Okay, I’m going to cut off my fingers with my gardening shears now.
Yeah, Kobe will win and he’s the least deserving. Agreed.
LeBron will win. I like Kobe too but unfortunately he’s kind of getting washed up. He’s going down the hill and LeBron is climbing right up it. He’s so amazing and he isn’t even at his peak yet.
Shaq is getting old. With newer players with amazing energy and great creativity his slacking is clear and glaring in comparison. I wonder how you could compare that to older writers. Older writers just get better with age. Hmm.
Perhaps we should just say writers should be like a fine wine that gets better as it ages. The young wine will still taste good (sometimes just as good as the older one) otherwise no one would buy it.
Love the B-ball metaphor Nathan.
LMAO You gotta love a monkey eh Nathan? Do they swing as well when they’re drunk? I think so.
David West putting up 20/9, Peja playing well, and Tyson Chandler being a defensive beast. Not quite the same thing as playing with Zydrunas Ilgauskas and other assorted dinosaurs.
LMAOOOOOOOOO
I’m sorry I have to laugh. Please excuse me, I’m going to have to steal that statement when I’m yelling at the screen during the next b-ball game I watch. Good God that is full of win.
Wonderful post.
This is a terrific post Nathan-
I even get the football comparison…
er
Soccer?
uh
Water polo?
yeah writters got tu use gooder words and in the bestest order so peepul with by there books
As Steve Martin once said, “Some people have a way with words, and others…not have way.”
“Who is the Simon Cowell of agents who will say, “Honey, don’t quit your day job! You just don’t have what it takes”?”
LOL talk about the world’s most boring reality show.
“Okay, everyone open the book to page one and read for 30 seconds….Time’s up! Simon, what do you think?”
“Drivel. Pure drivel spewed from the mind of yet another shameless hack.”
Paula: “I think as you continue on you’ll work into your true voice. But you’re not there yet, honey, I’m sorry.”
Randy: “Dog, I’m just not feelin’ it. Don’t quit your day job, man.”
https://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com
/run-on-sentences.aspx
and what about Faulkner?
I guess if he were out there, he shouldn’t query Nathan?
anon-
I don’t think Faulkner is sending anyone queries.
And come on now. You know what I mean. It gets a little exhausting to have to put a caveat in front of every single generalization. Obviously there are run-on sentences that work. And for every one that works there are a thousand that don’t.
of course Faulkner is not, he’s run along…
and yes,you are right, and, as you have always said, there are exceptions…
it’s just that sometimes, with “the rules” the exceptional or unique or different is ruled out
and I tend (not that I am anybody) to root for the unique voice
(differing from the one that can’t use a comma, but may be in a coma???)
how I wish you might someday consider a contest for wild and crazy experimental writing
Faulkner to now: Where along that timeline was THE moment when writing became capital-A Art rather than lowercase-w work? Sometimes I think the worst disservice it’s possible to do to a writer is to tell him he’s a “good writer.” (And he does himself no favors if he believes it.)
Our local newspaper prints occasional columns by a student at a university here. I can’t even begin to appreciate whether his opinions are valid, because I’m so distracted by all the polysyllabic malapropisms, ungainly clauses that wander off a cliff, verb-less… and all the letters to the editor praising him for his eloquence. I bet he writes a hell of a query letter.
paul west-
Do they? Off the top of my head I can’t think of a published novelist I know who can’t write a good short story. Now, maybe a solid novelist can’t write a GREAT short story and some people are better short story writers and some people who are better at novels.
But a good solid short story? Every published author I know could do it.
Also I never said to give up.
I’ll say that I couldn’t write a query to save my life. Queries to me are akin to “selling” yourself, which is something I can’t do.
Even in hunting for a job, this was a stumbling block for me. I have been told I have an impressive resume, but cover letter? God no.
I don’t have the first clue on selling myself. I just put forward what I am and the work I’ve done, and pray they stand on their own.
Then again, maybe I’m just a crap writer 🙂
I am an artist.
I have to confess, that learning how to talk about my art
has been a long, strange road.
I have mastered it.
I should.
I created the work. I should be able or capable of talking about it.
But it required I change gears.
We will We will
ROCK YOU!
Novels and queries are nothing alike. They both have words in common, but I think they come from different parts of the brain. One is creative and one is analytical. When you’re writing a novel, you’re inside the ink. When you’re writing a query, you’re outside it. It’s the difference between van Gogh painting a canvas, and van Gogh at an art show, being asked to paint a separate work– on a tiny bit of paper– that explains the first.
I think a writer can be good at both, but not necessarily. A person who is comfortable losing herself in a novel might be uncomfortable with the spotlight of a query.
Unfortunately I think you’re right. I loathe writing queries but I’m well aware they are the first, and possibly the only, representation of my work an agent will see. It darned well better be great.
When I started writing, I couldn’t write a query letter. I didn’t want to work at it, because I didn’t like doing it. Neither did my muse and even chocolate couldn’t coax her out.
But you know what? When you ain’t got a decent letter, nobody gonna want your story.
Now, I am not saying I have got the mad query lettering skills down (Nathan did reject me recently, so something’s not peachy there) but I know I’m getting better. The trickling of requests coming in proves that.
Like every basketball player, talent will get you so far, but practice, practice, practice can tip you over the edge.
Look at some of your favorite authors. if they’re auto-reads, don’t read the blurb or the catchy little thingymabobs (sorry, brain pause here) on the front of the cover. read the book, and write the blurb for it. then compare to see how you’re doing. You’ll get there.
I personally enjoy writing the hook part of queries, but that might be because I write action-thriller novels, which I think are easier to summarize than, say, a character-driven literary exploration; it can still be done, though.
But I enjoy writing 1-sentence blurbs so much that I keep a file of them, and whenever I think of a concept for a novel, I make myself condense it into a TV-Guide style blurb. Then when I’m selecting which project to write next, I go over the blurbs, and whichever is the most compelling (combined with a loose outlining for what actually happens in the story), is what I go with. And if you have an editor/agent, this greatly aids the next project selection process by giving them a choice without having to read an entire ms.
I often start them with “When….”
“When a [insert profession here] discovers [insert what they discover here], “they find themselves confronting [insert what they confront here], before [insert super-bad thing happens here].
I think of it as dialing the detail level of a story up or down. The blurbs are Detail all the way down, the 5-page synopsis = medium Detail, while the completed ms. is of course 100% Detail.
Sometimes I just imagine the movie made based on my book, and in my head I picture the Netflix sticker on the DVD, and I just write that down.
I will add that I used to do the same thing that Keri suggests–every time I finished reading a novel (if it was in my genre), I wrote my own jacket copy for it and then compared it to the real thing. That is great practice,and now it’s one of my favorite parts of the entire novel writing process.
What’s frustrating as a writer is when many agents/editors say that your prose is top-quality but the narrative isn’t compelling enough. Sigh.
While some people are finding it discouraging when I say that someone with a publishable novel should be able to write a good query, I really hope you’ll look at it another way: it’s affirmational.
You have the tools. If you’ve written a publishable novel, you can write a good query. It may take some time to get the hang of the format, as others have pointed out, it takes practice, and it may not feel right to brag about yourself. But you can do it.
LeBron didn’t become an MVP candidate on talent alone.
If you’re a writer, you have the tools. And people are offering some really great tips on how you can practice in this thread.
Doing anything well takes practice. Just because you are struggling and find it difficult doesn’t mean you can’t do it if you keep working at it.
It’s difficult for everybody. It’s drudgery, it’s frustrating. But to just say that query writing isn’t reflective of writing ability is a cop out. You can do it if you work at it hard enough.
Of course, using this line of thought means Shaq should really have a better free throw percentage, but there you go.
And, idea man, I love that Steve Martin quote! I can even hear him saying it though I haven’t listened to him in years.
Why can I write queries for others, condensing and making the blurb catchy enough that it attracts that ‘request for more’ from the agents they query and yet, I can’t write my own to save my life?
I think it’s because I am so close to my own that I can’t find a way to step back from it and look at it the same way I do other writers. That coupled with the fact that I am forced to write my query three or four different ways depending on whether the agent in question wants a two paragraph query or one…
*sigh* I keep trying. Maybe in thirty years or so, I’ll have figured it out.
nm
I should add to that comment by the way, that I don’t write the entire query for them, but I do crit it before they send it, making adjustments where I think they are too verbose or not descriptive enough.
Whatever I’m doing though, it helps them enough to work.
*sigh*
nm
I hope this is inspirational:
(although maybe it is more indicative of my slow learning process?)
I applied to a number of graduate schools five different years.
I had an incredible background.
However, I was rejected time and time again.
I didn’t understand how to sell myself, how to write about myself, how to “do the strokes.”
The fifth time I “got it.”
I was not only accepted by five universities, I was offered my choice of fellowships, scholarships, teaching assistantships, etc.
Some skills take walking into walls before you get them.
I do hope,however, it won’t take such a huge learning curve to get published.
Hoop’s Hoop in American Basketball
That’s definitely sound advice. I have a veritable complex surrounding queries, though I can comfortably write otherwise. This is partly influenced by the fact that as a visual artist I can’t stand the accompanying essays that hang next to paintings, asserting lofty notions and deeper meanings. (It’s right there!! Either it’s working for the viewer, or it’s not.) Incidentally, I’m hella bad at talking up my work (sorry, urge to quote Cartman could not be suppressed), but happy to stand in front of it and listen to people tell me what they see.
But since a novel is not something that can be taken in at a glance, the importance of a fitting query and (shudder) synopsis is obvious.
I’m happy writing stories, but totally out of my comfort zone in the ‘now I have to talk it up’ realm, and the focus shifts from my characters to me. I guess I need to alter my perspective here… to view the query as an extension of the story itself. Or pretend it’s someone else’s book, and I’m suggesting it to a friend. There must be a way to make writing queries feel more natural. I can’t seem to shake the ‘job application cover letter’ feeling/tone from mine.
Being in command of one’s material is not quite the same as avoiding awkward prose, though – P.G. Wodehouse was in command of his material, but Bertie Wooster ravaged the English language. (The books would hardly be improved if Bertie’s mixed metaphors, hodgepodge of registers and inarticulate fillers were to be cleaned up.) And somehow writing in the voice of a character or characters is not much help with query letters, which are supposed to be in the voice of the author.
London pub. A: ‘In the North “cunt” is an offensive word. You say the word “cunt” when somebody’s with his girl he’ll have your head off.’
B: ‘Yeh. Yeh. In the South you hear it all the time. “I’m all cunted out.”‘
A: ‘”Stop cunting me about.” I’ve heard that.’
B: ‘So stop cunting me about, you cunt, are you in or out?’
A: ‘Oh all right then. You know what they say, Tel, unlucky in love.’
Problem is. As an eavesdropper in a pub I instantly want to know more, without having any idea what the story is, because I think A and B do more interesting things with language than whatever well-behaved sentences I might come up with. As a reader, I’d be likelier to want to read a book with that on the back than I would reading some sort of plot summary. So a pitch is hard because it involves stripping the book of the thing that would draw me to it in the first place, the thing I love in (say) Peter Carey’s work, and coming up with something compelling in my own voice. But I don’t have an interesting voice, I’m just an eavesdropper. If a book is any good at all, it’ll be because I eavesdropped on some interesting people; I then got out of the way and let the reader eavesdrop on them too.
Sigh.
Every professional athlete misses. A lot. Babe Ruth, if I remember correctly, held the record for strike-outs for quite a while. Want that guy on your team?
I don’t write good queries because I’m not comfortable selling myself. I’m an introvert who was raised to know my place as a woman and stick to it, and it’s taking hard work to unstick myself. I’m working at it, and my queries are getting better, but I still tend to rely on contests and world-of-mouth, where my work itself or my reputation can speak for me. Maybe it’s a weakness. Maybe it’s just another path. I don’t know.
I also have a disease that affects my cognitive function in such a way that certain kinds of typos are my middle name, especially the kind that spellcheck doesn’t catch. I do my best with repeated hard-copy edits, but I don’t always catch them, either.
Thankfully, the editors I normally work with tend to laugh more than snarl, but I’m in a genre where good writing is relatively rare. If the story’s solid, they’ll fix the typos, and I can deliver solid stories. That part of my brain is just fine.
Here’s the thing. The folks who hit most frequently, in any field, do so because they’re willing to risk missing. LeBron James got where he is because he was willing to miss the backboard more often than Joe Schmoe. The difference was that he didn’t throw the ball down and flounce off the court after he missed. He reassessed his shot and tried again until he had it figured out.
And he still dribbles the ball off his own foot, right? What does that tell us about pro performance?
sex scenes at starbucks said…
Do you have a command of words are not?
So is that a typo…or not?
Sorry, couldn’t resist, Nathan. 😛
Q: was that a Nathan typo that was since corrected?
Words are to writers as misdemeanors are to basketball players.
fell on knees?
This might be a controversial opinion, but if your book can’t be nailed down into a persuasive query, I respectfully submit you might look at the book rather than your querying skills.
Also, I am biased toward the short form, but then, so are many of the universities and writing courses in the country. If you haven’t learned how to write a short story, then it’s high time you started. For learning to write, studying the short story (reading and writing) is invaluable.
And yeah, Nathan fixed it. He’s a sneaky one, our Nathan!
I’m sure there are people out there, a few here have mentioned it, that can write a killer blurb for a book they’ve read that isn’t theirs simply because it’s not theirs. I’m not sure having trouble writing one about your own correlates to that. There’s a difference between being emotionally vested in something because it’s a part of you, and having to condense it into a few words, and being bowled over by something you read and are writing a rave blurb about it.
Then again, maybe you’re right, maybe my stuff is all crap and I’m just wasting everyone’s time here. And if so, I apologize!
nm
I know for me I can see an explanation of something, but until I get that hands on with something I’ve written, I don’t get it. So, if you are still not sure about query before sending it out, send it to Ms. Reid of FinePrint to critique. News of this new blog came to my inbox today:
https://queryshark.blogspot.com/
Or, brave EvilEditor who, as far as I know, crits EVERY query letter that he gets:
https://evileditor.blogspot.com/
Well said, Sex Scenes!
I don’t feel comfortable with queries yet, but found my last one much easier to write after I’d clarified the plot.
I believe writers can write a good query. If we’ve taken the time to craft our story, to chose words with the perfect shade of meaning, to find the cadence that suits a scene, then we can damn well write a query. Certainly not the first time, probably not the tenth time, but, yeah, we can do it. We really can.
The tenacity that produces a good book will produce a good query
p.s. I loved the crapometers in Miss Snark’s archives. It was so helpful to see hooks, queries, and cover letters critiqued. I know I saved myself many mistakes by seeing where other brave folks had made theirs.
Here’s the link: https://snarkives.blogspot.com/
Man, I hope I haven’t missed any typos….
It doesn’t matter if you’re good at writing query letters or not.
It doesn’t matter if they are easy to write or not.
What matters is that you HAVE to write them. And you have to write them well. Otherwise, you won’t get enough agents/editors looking at your novel to ever sell it. There are a lot of aspects of writing that are hard. The query letter is just one of them. A lot of writers have been told that they need to work on POV or dialog or any number of things. And they do and they get better. So, practice. Write a hundred query letters if you have to. Get other writers to critique them. Do what you have to do in order to write a good query. Because your writing career could very well depend on it.
Um, what that too harsh?
To everybody that says that writer X didn’t or couldn’t write in a particular fashion (i.e. query, short story), you are forgetting that that particular writer was able to match their unique style with the right agent. I highly doubt that the writers mentioned in the examples were represented by the first agent they queried. The examples simplify the situation. It’s easy to look at somebody that has already achieved success and say: Look. It has already been done.
On the one hand agents and publishers can’t or are unwilling to recognize unique writing and then on the other hand examples of unique writers/writing styles are given to strengthen the argument that unique writing has its place in literature. So which is it?
I am always amazed at some aspiring writers’ lack of economic understanding. I have read many agent blogs, websites and articles where agents claimed that they receive 5,000-8,000 queries per year. Life is short. Time is money. Agents can’t read every manuscript. If a writer can’t write a phenomenal query letter they only have themselves to blame. Period.
Writers need to stop blaming the system.