Do I sound depressed? No? Give it time.
Usual preface: there were three or four queries over the weekend from regular blog readers that followed the rules, wrote good personalized queries, and were perfectly fine and just weren’t quite for me. Keep on trucking, I’m sure you’ll find the right agent.
Everyone else?
Wow. Let me elaborate: WOW
Here come the stats from the last three days:
Total queries: 93
Young Adult: 16 (this is the first time YA took the lead)
Suspense/thriller/mystery: 14
How-to/Self-Help/Guide book: 8
Historical fiction: 8
Science fiction: 7
Women’s Fiction: 7
Fantasy: 6
Male Ennui: 4
Literary fiction: 3
History: 3
Politics/Current Events: 3
Religion/New Age: 3
Memoir: 2
Screenplay (I don’t represent): 2
Short story collections: 1
Middle grade (I don’t usually represent): 1
Picture book (I don’t usually represent): 1
Graphic novel: 1
No freaking idea: 3
Of those 93, a mere 19 were personalized, or roughly 20%, which is down from the already-paltry 29% last time I compiled stats. And even that number 19 is somewhat deceptive, since at least half of those mentioned the blog but clearly hadn’t read even the Essentials (or at least hadn’t adjusted their query).
And of those 93 I didn’t request any partials.
Some random categories:
Guides to life in prison: 2
Said they submitted because of my physical appearance: 1
Queries for works that the author professed will change the world: 2
Addressed “Dear publisher,” “Dear Sir/Madam,” or to the wrong agent: 5
Said they were “published” without providing publisher and/or year: 8
Sent query letter as an attachment (which I deleted): 1
Began query with an excerpt from book: 2
Received one of those annoying “in order to control spam you are receiving this automated e-mail” messages after sending a rejection: 2
I really do want to say that I appreciate how difficult it is to find an agent, I appreciate that people are thinking of me when they query, and I know it’s not a whole lot of fun to hear agents complain about how hard it is to find new clients when you’re reading their blog and shouting “I’M RIGHT HERE” at the screen. I definitely understand all of that.
But. These queries are really starting to get out of control.
Is it bad that this made me smile? I’ve just spent five months researching agents, I mean really researching… going to the bookstore to check out their clients books specifically, reading their blogs daily (by the way, I love agents blogging – it gives me so much more to work with than the straight research ever will)
I read your blog daily, but I won’t be querying specifically because I 1) write middle grade and 2) there is another agent with Curtis Brown that seems more of a fit for what I write…
While I love your blog, I don’t want to waste your time or mine querying outside of what you like or rep… and while I’m sorry that you’re getting such out of touch queries, it does give me hope that all of the work I’ve put into my writing and editing and then researching and querying will stand out with the agents I do query.
And if it makes you feel better, thank you for blogging – it’s a tremendous help to a lot of us writing out here – even if we’re not reading specifically to query you.
Y’know, I’d never really considered “male ennui” as a genre of book. I hadn’t been reading your blog back in May, so I followed that link to that post and found myself, well, amused. Who would read a male ennui novel anyway? And I’m envisioning the book jacket, that instead of Mystery or Romance or Thriller, says: Male Ennui.
Because, y’know, I’m sure there’s nothing more women would like to read about than an angry, pissed-off man and how some 20-year-old hottie got his mind off his problems. Sure, I can see where the typical reading and book buying demographic would support that–not. Sure, most buyers of books are women in middle-age or older (and no f***ing way am I going to define the age group for a middle-aged woman; I’m dim, not suicidal), probably married and dealing with their own male’s ennui, so the idea of being entertained by a lively story of “listen to the guy whine and have an affair with a younger woman to deal with it” just doesn’t strike me as a hot market.
I suppose there are exceptions. After all, don’t all of Updike’s books fall into that category?
I’m just sayin’.
Good God!
Screenplays? If people only did a quick google search of your name, they’d find this blog, and what you rep and don’t rep.
Your physical appearance? They actually put that in the query? People have no shame.
Any queries made out to ‘Curtis Brown?’
I hate to ask a question about queries (seeing as your head seems to be swelling rapidly because of them, but I’ll hesitantly (and with a cyber glass of burbon in hand), ask anyways:
Let’s say we query you in the proper way (personalized, rhetorical question free, read all the essentials, read what you do any don’t rep etc), and we paste at the bottom of the email the first two pages of the MS. If (hopefully), you were to request a partial, does the 30 pages (which you said is usually your partial request length), include the first two pages making it 28, or is it 30 more (including the first two), making it 32? This may sound like a silly question but I really would hate to be one of those prospectives who make you or other agents want to pull their hair out.
Misery loves company, so you decided to share? Well, now I’m depressed.
So “out of control” means what? You never want to see another query . . . they have to be personalized . . . follow your rules? Or are you tendering your resignation, effective immediately?
adaora-
The first two pages you put in the query don’t count. And feel free to send a few more or a few less than 30 if there’s a natural break near the 30 pages mark.
Shake the tree of literature, and you’re bound to have a few nuts hit you on the head.
I’ll send you a helmet. 😉
Ah ok thanks! I was pretty sure about it being ok to end at a natural break, I just had that niggling question. Thanks alot!
I Never considered querying an agent because of his appearance, though you are sorta cute, Nathan.
And by “sort of” I mean waaay cute.
Better luck next time as you venture into query hell.
No mention of the protest on the bridge? I thought maybe you were watching since you didn’t post yesterday…
“Said they submitted because of my physical appearance”
Ha! Well, at least I hope it was more a “You’re quite the hottie, wanna rep my book?” and not “it occurs to me that unsightly agents are best because editors will agree to read anything to prevent the ugly agent from turning them to stone.”
Maybe you can up your query count if you start podcasting and people can submit because of your voice. That’s a good way to pick which agents to hit up.
Nathan, you’re such a delight! I do wish you handled romance. You’ve made it so clear of what you like and don’t like. good luck making it through future query piles.
Nathan, in spite of the fact that you gave me a shout out in this post:
https://nathanbransford.blogspot.com/2007/11/when-in-doubt-query-me.html
Maybe it’s time to delete it?
I’m with, Merry. As much as I love you, Mr. King of Nice, I think my work’s too dark for your taste, so if it’s any consolation, Nathan, Josie’s query will not be clogging up your inbox.
Adaora: At least that person did not send Nathan any nudie pics of themself (or maybe they did and Nathan’s too polite to mention it?).
Mark Terry: Richard Ford’s books as well. Maybe even Richard Russo’s, come to think of it.
Melanie-
Actually, I saw the protest over the GG Bridge in person as I happened to be driving across yesterday. I was like, “What are they doing work on the bridge? Wait, are those people up on the cables? Wait, do those people have flags? I bet it’s some Tibet thing.”
Sure enough….
@Josephine – Who knows? And I suppose so, but it is kind of an insult where they maybe meant to compliment. You’re supposed to query because you think you’d be a good fit with the agent. I like when agents put their pictures up because it really does show their personality and lends to the whole thing of navigating the murky publishing waters, and figuring out which agent is right for you and your work. It is so hard to pick which agent might be right for you so blogging and pictures help enormously.
It reminds me of this annoying guy who comes into where I work to shop quite often ( I work in retail – cash to be exact to pay for transportation to university and to support my shopping habit), and he’s really…it’s annoying. Honestly I just want to do my job and go home to er…do essays and write my books. Or how about the woman who said the f word to me because I forgot to give her 50% off halloween stuff. Damm she didn’t even need a costume. She could proper go as a witch and no one would know the difference.
Hmmm, last time you were depressed you broke out a whopper of a contest . . .
I read another agent blog where she has a code word for her blog readers who submit. I know you still have to read everything, but it may offer a little hint that the person has done his homework. But then, you’d probably figure that out in the first sentence.
I really hope you don’t stop being so open and responsive.
Well, as sad as this is it gives me hope for my own querying. It’s always nice to be able to say: “At least I’m not that lame.” 😉
me screaming: “But I AM right here!” Still, good to know information. Puts a perspective on things.
After many years of working in various service sectors, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that if the vast majority of people can attempt something without thinking, they will. I apologize on behalf of our mutual genetic heritage. I’m sorry. As a species, we should be doing better, but it’s been tough to muster up any enthusiasm for intelligent thought since the invention of television.
The good news: It can’t have taken long to decide to reject many of those queries.
Can you imagine the mess if you received 93 perfectly executed, truly captivating queries? You’d have to read each, give it serious consideration and develop some grading system (outstanding, truly outstanding, fan-freakin’-tastic, I-must-have-this-or-I’ll-die) before weeping over the ones you’re forced to let go because you’d need to be four agents to take them all on… In addition to breaking your heart, the process would take days!
No. It’s better this way. In fact, perhaps you should change your guidelines to include something like, “Please send me crap so I can reject you quickly and get on with my other work.”
Just a thought 8).
Nathan,
Always love the query stats. Thanks for posting them.
Also, I was wondering if you think someone can write a great novel but lack the knack for writing a great query.
Queries require an economy with words that novels just don’t. And the other side is that some people are perhaps better at selling a story (and themselves) than they are writing that actual story.
What is your opinion?
Thanks
Oh, yes, I forgot: what on earth did someone send you that resulted in a “No freaking idea” category?
Ouch!
anon @ 12:02-
It may be an unpopular sentiment, but I feel that anyone who has written a great novel can’t help but write a great query letter.
Holy $#it. Is it rude to be sitting her laughing while you are mainlining Prozac? I’m sorry.(Stop laughing, Kim.) So were you at least flattered by the query that arrived “because UR a QT?” You can look forward 30 or so years until this crop of writers starts sending you “Male Ihaftaaweewee” queries about their prostates and such. I’m laughing, but I promise I’m crying inside.
I love when you post the query stats.
I just can’t get that people don’t take the time to research or at least address it to you personally!
Maybe its time to get an assistant to search through the queries and only pass along ones to you that fit the requirements. Would save you a lot of time and sanity.
Nathan, it sounds like you’re getting a touch of ennui yourself… (Not saying it’s unjustified, we’ve all got our burdens to bear.)
I kind of have to disagree with the ‘anyone + great novel = great query’ equation, though. I’ve known great writers who really were the stereotypical introverts with great skill, but lacking the social or marketable edge that they need to push their work into the hands of someone who can publish it or get it filmed (in the case of your two errant queries).
I’m sure you’ve come into contact with about ten thousand writers for every one writer I’ve ever met, so, this is just my two cents.
Kim I’ve just peeked at your profile again, and I see that you’re a Potter fan. Did the query sender thinking Nathan is a ‘male’ veela come to mind when you posted your comment? I still maintain, some people have no shame.
isak-
Yes, it’s true, there are always exceptions.
Nathan, love, love, love your blog. I sent a query to you on 3/31 with no reply, I guess your blog answers my question on weather or not you were interested…but somehow I thought you shot back rejection emails? I wont resend since all 93 queries were a no go for you. thank you anyhow 🙂
TB-
First check your spam filter, if it’s not there (and assuming you didn’t send it as an attachment) you can re-send.
Thanks for the query stats! And thanks for introducing me to “Male Ennui.” I swear, at the next library staff meeting, I’ll raise my chin a little and say, “I’m not sure we’re meeting the needs of our fans of male ennui. Don’t you think we should dedicate some shelving for these books? Maybe between mysteries and inspirational?”
Were these all e-mailed queries? Do you think you’re a victim of electronic convenience?
Well, unlike my dear Merry and my darling Josephine, I do write in areas you represent (literary/historical and YA). I’d love to send you a personalized query that helps boost your stats…but, alas, there’s that pesky rule about not querying agents until you have a manuscript that’s ready to be shopped around. Sigh.
I pinky-swear that you’ll be on my short list of agents to query when I eventually get to that stage.
Nathan,
You list “women’s” and “literary” fiction, but why doesn’t your list include a category called something like “mainstream” or “contemporary” fiction?
TL
Oh, and I double-pinky-swear that you’re not on my short list because of your appearance. Yeesh.
TL-
genre categories are admittedly pretty arbitrary, but what types of books wouldn’t fit into the categories I have up there? “Mainstream” doesn’t really seem to me to be a category.
TL-
genre categories are admittedly pretty arbitrary, but what types of books wouldn’t fit into the categories I have up there? “Mainstream” doesn’t really seem to me to be a category.
I’m sure you’ve done this before, but could you clarify your definition of “women’s” fiction?
TL
I just went to Amazon and typed in “women’s fiction.” It’s kind of soup-to-nuts. They list TC Boyle’s Tortilla Curtain in the category! Who knew?
TL
Said they submitted because of my physical appearance: 1
I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. Really?! I hope the person realized, at least within their own head, that appearance isn’t what one primarily looks for in an agent.
I feel that anyone who has written a great novel can’t help but write a great query letter.
I hope it’s more that anyone who has written a great novel is capable of writing a great query letter. It doesn’t happen automatically.
Nathan —
I really sympathize. And even empathize. I read 170 queries last week and only ended up asking for 3 partials.
I haven’t thought about sorting them into personalized vs. “dear agent” but that’s an interesting stat. Also, those who claim to read the blog but obviously haven’t.
Keep trucking. The jewels are in there.
— Jennifer Jackson
I’m wondering how many query letters started with a rhetorical question this time. Maybe a silver lining in that category?
luc2-
Thanks for reminding me. 5 began with rhetorical questions. (argh)
So a query shouldn’t describe a book as commercial, mainstream, or popular fiction? It seems there should be some sort of “general fiction” category.
Nathan, enjoying your stats, as usual, and just thought of a question. I would never begin a query with a rhetorical question, but I just did a rewrite of my novel, and the new first sentence actually begins with one, directed to the reader. I think it works in this case, but anything against doing that in the actual novel? Curious what you might think.
Wow. More proof of the theory that though everyone may have a book inside of them, not all of those books should come out.
With all these duds out there, I think I’m looking pretty good! ;o)
So how do you query someone because you like their looks? Does it sound like a classified ad?
Hey baby! I like how you look! Why don’t you and I meet up and discuss how you are just the right agent for me?
Or
5’6 brunette with bouncy personality and vampire novel seeks handsome young agent for meaningful agency relationship.
I’m sorry, but I am still laughing about that!
I’m in the same boat as “merry monteleone”–a regular blog reader that (unfortunately) refrains from emailing you a query, because I write mostly children’s picture books (with MG and YA pieces in the slow cooker).
I am excited to say that I have recently received an offer of representation from an agent I feel would be a good match for me. This agent is excited about my project and has provided me with specific, positive feedback. The offer and contract all seem to be in order (standard commissions, no reading/postage/copy fees, follows AAR ethics, can terminate after 30-day notice, etc.), but it is a new agency. I’ve done my research (they are listed on PM, and are not critized P&E or similar websites) and truth be told I feel comfortable with the offer. I have contacted the other agencies that currently have my manuscript and am waiting a week to hear back from them.
Nathan, generally speaking, in this situation is my trust and comfort with this new agent grounded? Or do you feel I should always shy away from a new agent, as a rule?
anon-
Ultimately you have to go with your gut feeling. This is a new agency entirely? Does the agent have experience at another agency or publisher? If it’s a young agent at an established agency or an established agent at a new agency I think you’re fine on experience. But otherwise I’d really ask some questions.
Wow. Is everyone having the kind of day/weekend I have been? That sucks!
I apologize for the… er, laziness of people, Nathan. You’re too cool to have to put up with it. (I get brownie points for that, yes? ;))
As for your belief that all us good query writers will one day find an agent, I’m hoping you’re right. So far, no bites.
Did anyone sign their queries with Twiddle Dee or Twiddle Dumb?
Just curios (lol)
I attended a workshop this weekend where Agent Pam Strickler did critiques of people’s query letters. Though time didn’t allow her to get to mine, I can honestly say that thanks to your blog, none of the stuff she atacked with the red pen was in my letter. So, thank you for improving my chances in the query game.