You know those “mad lib” games you’d play as a kid, where you start off by writing down a list of verbs, places and adjectives, and inevitably the words “snot” and “farted” were involved, which made any story HILARIOUS?
Well, we’re going to play query letter mad lib today, which will give you a query letter template.
Here’s how the query mad lib works. First I’m going to need these things:
- Agent name
- Genre
- Personalized tidbit about agent
- Title
- Word count
- Protagonist name
- Description of protagonist
- Setting
- Complicating or inciting incident (basically the big thing that happens in the beginning that sets your character on your way)
- Villain*
- Verb that describes what your protagonist does to your villain
- Protagonist’s quest
- Protagonist’s goal
- The stakes
- Author’s credits (optional)**
- Your name
Now, plug all of these into my handy-dandy template and look how your query turns out:
Dear [Agent name],
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in [genre], and because you [personalized tidbit about agent].
[protagonist name] is a [description of protagonist] living in [setting]. But when [complicating incident], [protagonist name] must [protagonist’s quest] and [verb] [villain] in order to [protagonist’s goal] or else [what’s at stake].
[title] is a [word count] work of [genre]. I am the author of [author’s credits (optional)], and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
[your name]
That’s mostly all you need.
Now, granted, this is the most formulaic query ever written (you know… because it uses a formula). It’s just going to give you a starting place to then add personality by adding some flavor and detail and voice. It’s good to flesh out the plot description into a full two or three paragraph summary.
But if you can’t fill this mad lib out in two seconds and craft a pretty decent query letter, something might be wrong with your novel.
These are the ingredients that absolutely positively completely totally must be in your query. Iif they are not, something is wrong. By all means use your creativity, add some more description, embellish, and be an author (well, within reason).
But it really doesn’t need to be that much more complicated than this.
Need help with your query?
Reach out for personalized help!
Take my online classes!
And for more advice on writing your query letter, check out these posts:
- How to write a query letter
- How to format a query letter
- How to research a literary agent
- The one sentence, one paragraph, and two paragraph pitch
* I should note that “villain” does not necessarily have to mean an actual person, alien, monkey, spore, or etc. It could be a personality trait, nature, society… basically whatever is standing in between the protagonist and his/her/its goal.
** If you mention a previously published book in the query letter the agent will need 1) the publisher and 2) the year. Otherwise they’ll just assume it was published by a small press sometime in the 1850s, and you don’t want them to assume that.
Need help with your book? Iām available for manuscript edits, query critiques, and coaching!
For my best advice, check out my online classes, my guide to writing a novel and my guide to publishing a book.
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UPDATED: 5/27/21
Art: Euclid, detail from The School of Athens by Raphael
lauramanivong says
Perfect! I’m directing any unagented writers with whom I’m aquainted to this post.
Heidi the Hick says
Okay… so it’s okay tol use “fart” and “snot” in our queries?
(sorry, couldn’t resist)
Jay Montville says
Wait, let me try it …
Dear Snot:
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in boogers and also because you fart.
My Uncle Karl is a snotbooger living in a toilet. But when somebody farts, Uncle Karl must go down the drain and punch Aunt Lucinda in order to pick his nose.
Uncle Karl, Snotbooger, is a 60,000 word work of young adult fiction. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Jay
Wow! That’s PERFECT! š
Nathan Bransford says
haha — that’s pretty much exactly how my query would have turned out at age 8.
Mark D. says
Dear Mr. Snarkleface,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in ice cream, and because you own the local Baskin Robbins.
Pepper Mint is a highly sought after ice cream taster living in Butter City, Scotchland. But when the world’s supply of ice cream is shipped down the rocky road, Pepper must figure out how to retrieve it and prevent Piss Tashio from hoarding all the softies in order to restore good taste to the world.
ONCE UPON A MILK SHAKE is a 90,000 work of creamery. I am the author of NO NUTS IN MY ICE CREAM, PLEASE, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Frenchie Vanilla
Jade says
This is great advice, Nathan – thanks. But I can’t help thinking it reminds me of a game we used to play called Consequences, where you’d have a story with gaps in, each person would fill in one of the gaps and then pass on to the next person.
So a Consequences query letter in this format might read:
Harry is a botanist living on a small barren asteroid in outer space. But when his wife of 30 years finds out he’s been having an affair with another man, Harry must work out a way to cross the Thames by building a wooden raft, and publicly humiliate Mutty the Sex Fiend in order to come to terms with the cruel words of his now-dead sister, that have haunted him since childhood.
“The Best Chocolate Recipe Book Ever” is a 60,000 work of horror fiction. I am the author of “Better Sex in the Bedroom” and “Plant Life in the Sahara” and this is my first novel.
Could be fun…
Seth Ward says
Dear Mr. Gimmeachancedammit,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in Dog Chick and Mystery Lit, and because you stopped your large dog from urinating on my small dog at a dog show (which I found very kind) where your best client was selling his book.
Deleward Divadog is a hot Pekingese pooch model living in NYC with her two best bitches, Lexie Sniffit, and Fluffy (a.k.a. “Blue Jean Dream,”) But when Blue Jean Dream’s main sqeeze, Bowser, gets obsessed with the legs of designer jean models, Deleware Divadog must set out on a quest and destroy all designer jean manufacturing facilities in order to dry-out Bowser and save Fluffy’s relationship.
Delaware Divadog and the Blue Jean Baby is a 220,000-word work of Dog Chick-lit. I am the author of several different query letters, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Harpoon Lee Capootie
Anonymous says
“Harry must work out a way to cross the Thames by building a wooden raft, and publicly humiliate Mutty the Sex Fiend in order to come to terms with the cruel words of his now-dead sister, that have haunted him since childhood.”
I would so totally read this. Especially if Mutty had a handlebar moustache…please?
Linda
Taylor K. says
jay montville-Your ‘query’ made me laugh until I choked. Excellent work.
Conda V. Douglas says
Thank you, Nathan! In our quest to find an agent, it’s easy to forget that a query letter is really pretty simple. Maybe not easy to write because of that, but a letter with a few necessary elements.
And keep those queries coming, folks, I need a lot of laughs on Mondays. Don’t we all?
Luc Reid says
Totally breezing past the great utility of this post, I’m interested in the villain part. A good story certainly needs obstacles, but does it need an in-the-flesh villain? If I think of The Poisonwood Bible or even Pride and Prejudice (I know, I’m sounding like a complete girlyman in citing these particular titles), I feel like the villain approach is only one of several common and valid ways to get a story that works.
Adaora A. says
Nathan have you ever had a query where the author had a mindblowing, amazing story (so it appeared in reading the query), but they were missing an ingredient per your ‘mad lib’, that bit being, a title? I’ve heard stories of authors titles changing, or not having one at all.
Sera Phyn says
Jay, that is hilarious! I know fart jokes and queries about snotboogers shouldn’t be funny past elementary school, but I’m starting to doubt I ever mentally left elementary school! š
Furious D says
Dear Faye Kayjent,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in liquor, and because you have poor taste in books.
Nathan Bransford is a literary agent living in San Francisco. But when he’s framed by Eliot Spitzer’s pimp, Nathan must find the legendary Maltese Badger and defeat the evil French philatelist and modern dance impresario Gaston LaFarge in order to clear his name and get a decent haircut.
The Maltese Badger is a 17,948,093 word work of science fiction /suspense. I am the author of the short stories Dark Night of the Badger, & Revenge of the Badger both published in Badger Fancy Quarterly, and the non-fiction book Living With a Badger Obsession, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Buddy McBadger, Esq.
Nathan Bransford says
luc-
Good question. I was debating between “antagonist” and “villain,” but went with villain.
The villain does necessarily need to be a flesh and blood thing, it could also be, say, a personal demon (like greed) that the protagonist battles, or society, or nature, or some other force. Or it can be a nasty pirate.
But there has to be something working against the protagonist.
Nathan Bransford says
adaora-
Titles change constantly, so yes.
Richard Mabry says
Fantastic. I’ll never have to slave over a query letter again. Now do you have something that will make it easy to craft a synopsis?
Anonymous says
ROTFL—Snotbooger–
Thanks Jay! This just made my Monday worthwhile.
Sue
Katie says
Hi Nathan, I’m new to the publishing/book world and I really enjoy reading your blogs. They have been a great way to get to know the industry. I’m working for a company that edits manuscripts and (if they’re good) I try and get agents interested. Any suggestions for approaching agents when it is on behalf of an author? I’d appreciate any tips you have to offer!
Nathan Bransford says
katie-
I actually don’t accept queries from third parties — I want to hear from the author directly unless there’s a really good and clear reason why the author can’t contact me on their own (such as death, disability, etc.). I know there are people who want to help their clients/their shy friends/their kids, but I really want to hear from the writer since that’s the person I’m going to be working with.
Scott says
So, then, like:
Dear Date Nogg,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in historical sci-fi romance, and because you recently dated your mother.
V’l’r’k’n’d’l is a Green Lugi-H’wker living in Planet Kevkorkia. But when his shoe comes untied, V’l’r’k’n’d’l must fart and seek Toejam Numbn’tz in order to learn to tie shoes.
Green Legs and Pam is a 128,002-word work of historical sci-fi romance. I am the author of a collection of poetic essay in rhyming verse, released by PublishAmerica (and available on amazon, and from Barnes & Noble and other leading bookstores), and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Ferdie Hobnob
You’re right! That is easy.
superwench83 says
Oh, this was supposed to be a learning experience? Damn. I filled the mad lib out with a bunch of crap, not with details from my own novel. Still, since somebody said to keep the kooky mad libs coming, I’ll post what I came up with.
Dear Nathan Bransford,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in fantasy, and because you hate queries that begin with rhetorical questions.
Mojo Bananas is a pipe-smoking librarian lady with green hair living in a grocery store. But when a magical pack of Juicy Fruit is stolen by a mad scientist bent on world domination, Mojo Bananas must get the Juicy Fruit back and frolic the mad scientist, who turns out to be Dwight from “The Office” in order to chew the Juicy Fruit and resore balance to the world.
Mojo Bananas and the Magic Pipe Mystery is a 18 million word work of fantasy. I am the author of a poem published in Happytown Insane Asylum’s annual poetry anthology, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Katie Fantastico
Nathan Bransford says
You see! These madlibs are already way better than many of the queries I get. It’s a magical formula.
Jill Myles says
Mr. Wickham was the villain in P&P! He was a profligate and a rake of the worst sort, and nearly ruined Lizzy’s life, except Darcy saved her and her family from certain ruin. I’d say there’s a villain. š
Anonymous says
Dear Ms. Ants-in Yourpants,
I chose to submit to you because of your proactive, and may I add, favorable stance on
ANT rights and because you recently blew up the RAID factory. Good job! Damn Buggers!
Rant, the Ant is hardworking carpenter by day and paperback writer by night living in Suzy Q’s kitchen cupboards. But when Suzy Q discovers that Rant, the Ant has gotten into her favorite vegetarian lentils and bean curd, and has taken the liberty of inviting all of the neighborhood ants to join him in doing so, Suzy Q sets out to destroy Rant, the Ant and his entire colony. Rant, the Ant finds, that to survive, he must either do battle with Suzy Q, or move himself and his family to Steady Freddy’s joint next door.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH ANTS is a mystery and weighs in at about 100,000 words. This is my first novel, but my 999th query.
Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you soon.
Your faithful and most devoted ANT comrade,
Nona says
But seriously. . . I used the formula, Nathan, and everything fell into place with my screenplay. It even cleared up some problems I was having articulating my protagonist’s “quest.” I knew damn well he had one, I just couldn’t exactly say what it was until now. It’s quite subtle. Thanks!
Mary says
@ Jay Montville and Mark D:
I canāt stop laughing!!!!!
kitkat says
Nathan,
I’m not yet at the stage of querying agents but I find your blog to be highly informative and educational. The query terrifies me more than writing those scenes that never seem quite right. I feel like querying is one of those things were persistence doesn’t always pay off, and I haven’t even begun to query! (hah…) I really appreciate everything that you’ve blogged about and the other agent’s blogs that you’ve recommended, it’s insight into the field that us poor outsiders and wannabe writers don’t see until later.
Until your next blog,
Kit
John says
Dear Agent Name,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in medieval German commercial literature, and because you passed your police background check.
Bowldermilk is a star food developer, the genius responsible for Agglomerated Foods’ unrivaled success at “putting tomorrow’s food in Canada’s kitchens today.” Thanks to the CH-3000 (code name “Fromageddon,” the world’s largest cheese pizza), Bowldermilk’s boldest plan yet, Agglomerated is poised to become a worldwide force in mass-produced organic frozen pizza.
But Bowldermilk is a 21st century food marketer with the soul of a 19th century adventurer, spending his leisure time riding Toronto’s subways and illegally spelunking the city’s network of subterranean tunnels. When his nemesis and fellow spelunker Ludlow Belknap steals the CH-3000, Bowldermilk defeat Ludlow and his nefarious scheme to steal the CH-3000’s intellectual property to create his line of pirated Syntheti-Pizzas.
And with the titans of the frozen product industry amassing for Pizza World Expo in just three days, Bowldermilk must spelunk like he never has before to recover the prototype and preserve Agglomerated’s good name.
D’OUGH! is an 85,432 work of commercial fiction. I am the author of the “Curd: The Secret Life of Processed Cheese” (14 weeks on the the Milwaukee Shepherd-Express Metro bestseller list). this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
My Name
PS – In conjunction with the Cheese Board of Canada, I have produced an innovative marketing plan whereby the Cheese Board will produce point-of-sale shelf space for D’OUGH! in the dairy sections of most of Canada’s major supermarkets, next to their exciting new varieties of spring Wensleydale.
Alex Fayle says
Here goes… It started out as a joke, but I kind of like the idea. It might even become a real idea!
***
Dear Dude Bransford,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in custom tshirt culture, and because you you have very well styled hair.
Henry Loons is a personalized fabrics graphic artist living in a cave that’s only accessible at low tide. But when the women’s paragliding club start to use the top of his cave as a launching point, Henry’s muse, a mermaid who lives in the cave during high tide, abandons the cave. Henry must stop the club from destroying his career and his chance at true cross-specie love.
LOW TIDE DIVE is a 98,723-word work of mermaid romance. I am the author of many fanzines about Agent Blogs, and this is my first novel.
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best wishes,
Alex
Anonymous says
Thanks, Nate-Dawg.
Wanda B. Ontheshelves says
Timing Is Everything
In honor of Tiger Baseball Opening Day, I am already: a) Sending a few poems to Wayne State lit journal, b) entering a poetry contest by Springfed Writers, and now c) writing 3 “formulaic” query letters – 1 each for my entries in Bookends’ 100-word contest.
I’m hoping maybe if I send in 3 queries (formulaic though they may be), I might get one of them publicly critiqued on Nathan’s blog (as indicated as a possibility in previous blog entry.)
“Hope springs eternal” on baseball opening day.
Sam Hranac says
It is to laugh!
As for the summary part of the query, Nathan, I’ve been toying with studying movie trailer text. At least when they’re not going on about Johnny Depp, they do seem to be succinct and intriguing when it comes to giving you the skinny.
Is this just silly? Do you see pitfalls to going in this direction?
Just_Me says
Nathan~
I’m getting a sinking feeling that your slush piles quality hasn’t improved yet.
Maybe you need to stop sending polite replies to queries and start sending a print-out of advice. One page of all the things they need to have in their query/pitch/story before they dare query again. Things like spell check, no rhetorical questions, and a plot. I’m guessing the blog readers could probably write it up for you just from your regular writing š
Nathan Bransford says
Actually Sam, I would strenuously avoid using movie trailers as a guide because what sounds good when said by the voice of god in trailers isn’t necessarily what reads well. Movie trailers rely on incredibly banal cliches (“in a world where”, “only one man can”, “everything changed” etc. etc. etc.) that look… cliched on the page.
I think the difference is that we all talk in cliches as shorthand because it’s concise and clear, so hearing these (particularly when accompanied by images) can be effective. But for some reason cliches read terribly on the page.
That’s just my theory anyway.
Josh Ryan says
The only thing I lack myself is a villain, per se, because there is no real villain of the story… just a lot of internal, external, interpersonal and situational conflict.
Adaora A. says
Dear Nathan Bransford,
I chose to submit to you because of your wonderful taste in Reality TV and because of our mutual admiration of drunk monkeys.
Vincent is a 30-year-old man living in his parent’s basement. He knows his parents want him out of the house and married, but he is unwilling to budge. But when his parents file divorce papers, he decides he needs a change in scenery. When he touches down on sunny Monkeyville,it is nothing like he imagined it to be. Monkeys are in control and the humans are the ones catering to the monkeys every need. A banana sour? Excllent, Bobby has that covered. Banana on rye? No problem, ring for Jenny. When the monkeys Vincent they believe they’ve found their new banana peeler. Vincent isn’t having any of that though. He gathers Bobby, Jenny, and all the other humans working on the island, and starts a revolution. He’s about to make history.
WAR OF THE MONKEYS is a work of literary fiction, complete at 60,000 words.I am the author of MONKEY BUISNESS: HOW MONKEY’S ARE TAKING OVER THE WHITEHOUSE, and GOT MONKEY?
Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.
Josephine Damian says
Adaora & Furious D: Good ones! lol
Nathan, why mention genre twice? First and last sentence? Or should you mention a particular book repped by that agent, (and why your book is like that one?) in the first sentence? And mention your own genre in last sentence?
Josephine Damian says
PS: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and disagree with you on including the words “this is my first novel.”
IMO, it’s a mistake to say that.
Nathan Bransford says
Why is it a mistake for someone to say it’s their first novel?
Josephine Damian says
Well, since you’ve asked….
Some agents (from what I’ve read … Ann Rittenberg for example) believe that a writer’s first completed manuscript is just the start of the learning curve, an exercise where you are hopefully learning your craft.
Some agents believe it takes 4-5 MS before you begin to learn craft.
Are there brilliant first MS? Absolutely. But I think (and I think agents think) it’s rare, so by saying so in the query you might put an agent on autopilot for reject because they believe this.
I also think, “this is the tenth MS I’ve written” – the implication that the nine before were unpublished – is also a negative implying the writer hasn’t learned anything in completing nine, and therefore the tenth will be just as bad. And yes, it’s possible number 10 could be where they learned their craft.
IMO, it’s best to focus on your character/plot problem-conflict,/setting, say why your work is a unique take on something popular with a proven success rate, and try to find something interesting to say about yourself to get an agent to say, hey, this person sounds like someone I’d like to get to know better.
It’s just like dating.. best not to reveal anything that might be perceived as negative, and I’m afraid there are agents who are prejudiced against first tries so why shoot yourself in the foot before they have a look (assuming they ask for a look)?
Sam Hranac says
Good point about the cliches, Nathan. I had only started considering this last night, but now that you mention it, the verbal shorthand would be a problem on paper.
Nathan Bransford says
josephine-
I can’t speak for all agents, obviously, but I assume that when someone says this is their “first novel” that it’s not actually the first manuscript they’ve ever written. It would just represent, if published, their debut novel.
And yes — when someone says they have 10 manuscripts it does send a chill down my spine as I imagine signing someone up and having them arrive in my inbox.
Check out what Janet Reid has to say, for instnace.
But it’s good to know that there are differing opinion on this one.
Josephine Damian says
Ok I think we have a semantics issue.
Yes, I saw JR’s post earlier.
Some agents may interpret “this is my first novel” as “this is my first manuscript” and not “should my first (third? fifth?) manuscript be published, it would represent my debut as a published author.”
Agree that to let an agent know he/she would have the pleasure and joy of having “discovered you” is a good thing – but some other agents might not interpret “this is my first novel” as meaning that, cause I think when a lot of writers say that, they mean it’s their first MS, which might be a turn-off for some agents.
Jackie says
OMG I wrote a new Query yesterday and is quite similar to your suggestions (exclude the snot and fart)…Nathan you may be the only Agent that would smile if someone sent one to you with those words, anyone else would “file” it quickly š
S. Mozer says
Hi Nathan. I read your blog all the time. As someone who struggles with the query I appreciate the mad lib but would that really be all it takes. I keep hearing different info: make it a movie trailer pitch, leave the reader hanging, tell it all, make sure they REALLY understand the story. Could it be that I have just been over thinking it all?
Stacy
Cam says
I was going to try my hand at the madlib using lowly narrative nonfiction, but just didn’t have the time today given real work. Thanks for the laughs, though…
@ Jay Montville, Mark Deveryone, and anon 12:40, you three gave me a cramp.
Cam
Lynne says
Oh, Rofl,mao! I cannot compete with such great writers. Best opening:
Dear Mr. Gimmeachancedammit. BTW, if you haven’t seen it yet, look for YouTube’s Monty Python/Star Trek. Also a bundle of laughs!
Jackie says
@ Adaora, I just Titled my book in these last few months and as I wrote the chapters I made a rough draft of what I wanted in the chapter but it is only since last Fall I gave them all names
Jackie says
@ Scott, I took your advice an added a sentence from my Forward in writing this query…ty