My thoughts upon waking up this morning: “Gee, I wonder how the Stupendously Ultimate First Line Challenge is going, let me open up….. Holy Spicoli!!”
Needless to say, I have already started shying away from the monumental task of whittling down the entries into a list of finalists and have enlisted the help of thrice-published author Anne Dayton of Good Girl Lit, who doubles as a book editor and thus knows a thing or two (or a gazillion) about first lines.
Anne and I will take a look at all of the entries on Wednesday evening (the cutoff time will be earlier because Anne is on the East Coast) and come up with a list of finalists. Voting will commence on Thursday, hopefully with a handy-dandy electronic voting thingie, and you will also have the opportunity to exercise the power of the people with the ability to write in votes in the comments section.
Some have already expressed concern about voting fraud (in America?? No!!), and to alleviate these concerns I have enlisted the same accounting firm who tabulates the votes for the Oscars to ensure that there are no irregularities, and I have authorized the full use of tasers to enforce the rules. (Actually we’re going to use the honor system with some additional safeguards.)
Keep on entering the SUFLC if you haven’t already, and I hope you’re enjoying reading the entries as much as I am.
David says
No one could have predicted you’d be swamped! 🙂
Nathan Bransford says
You called it! I was thinking maybe 150.
Words In Words Out says
Oh sweetie. Don’t you know us at ALL?! 😀
Conduit says
Didn’t you learn anything from Miss Snark’s last Crap-o-meter? Opening an agent blog up to us desperate writers is like covering yourself head-to-foot in roast beef before walking into a barn full of starving Pit Bull Terriers and shouting “Come and get it!”
Seriously, though, it’s been a fun exercise and thanks for taking the time to let us play.
Gabriele C. says
Hehe, you should have asked Miss Snark about floods and inundations.
It’s an interesting experience for us readers as well. When I read up on 100something entries last night, I noticed I tended to skim the long sentences with several commas after a while.
Not fair, I admit, but is it any different for slush pile readers?
Troy Masters says
“It was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times”.
-One of Mr. Burns’s 1000 monkeys.
With so many entries, I can’t help thinking of the infinite monkey theorem…somebody has to strike gold with at least one sentence.
Anonymous says
Well, you brought this on yourself, Nathan.
But we’re all glad you did.
Thanks in advance for all the extra work you’re going to have to put into this.
David says
conduit,
The first paragraph of your comment would make a wonderful opening line.
Anonymous says
And by the way. I don’t think you get enough credit for your sense of humor, which is the best part about this blog.
Scott says
So, would a view into your SUFLC selection process provide us with insight about your query selection/rejection process?
Nathan Bransford says
Scott-
I definitely think it provides a fairly good sense of what my inbox looks like — the quality of these first-line submissions on average is slightly higher, but overall it’s a pretty good barometer.
I don’t ultimately know if the selections Anne and I make will be illuminating into the agent thought-process, but we shall see I suppose.
melanie avila says
Nathan –
Thanks again for this opportunity. Like conduit said, you asked for it! Especially since you recently said you notice the queries from people who’ve posted on your blog. I’m only following instructions.
original bran fan says
Perhaps next time there should be a number cut-off as well as a time cut-off. Perhaps “first 100 people” or something.
(You notice how I cleverly assumed there would be a next time?)
mkcbunny says
Thanks for running the contest.
Marti says
You are a brave soul, Nathan. I remember the Snark Wars.
🙂
getitwritten_guy says
While taking a break from my WIP I looked in on the blog this morning. I was amazed at the level of response that you got on this.
I’ve read a few of the entries and I don’t envy your position in having to decide on a winner. Shying away from the task as you mention in your post is understandable.
Good luck.
P.S.: To get through this, just remember to apply compassion for all us hopefuls out here, a good sense of humor, and liberal amounts of coffee 🙂
Mr Bear says
Perhaps entries of more than two sentences should be disqualified?
And some folks have entered more times than is in good taste. How ’bout cutting them off at 3 entries?
David de Beer says
ah, it’s all in good fun, and I’m finding this very interesting.
I say let the multiple entries stand. But, heh, I don’t have to read and sort them later:)
Anonymous says
methinks anne’s line will make it to the finalists now…
:o)
Nathan Bransford says
Haha– forgot to mention that Anne will forego her inevitable spot in the finals in order to judge the contest. That’s some sacrifice there. Also she really does want an oil change.
Precie says
150?! Bhahahahaha! It’s the Internet. 🙂
Thanks for running this, NB! It’s a blast!
Katie says
Know what I noticed? How VERY many of these first lines reveal that the hero is already dead. It kind of gets old after the sixtieth (or something like that) entry, even if the line is otherwise fantastic.
Is this, also, I wonder, indicitive of your slush pile? Hmmmm…
Michelle Moran says
Good luck, Nathan!
sex scenes at starbucks says
handy-dandy electronic voting thingie
I dunno, Nathan. That sounds pretty technical…you sure we can figure it out?
Josephine Damian says
If my man Conduit doesn’t make it into the finals, I’m taking advantage of the write in campaign and voting for him.
Nathan, I’m in an online workshop right now and we had to do the same exercise: rate first lines.
We did it by assigning a 1-5 value to each opening line, with 5 being the best. I applied the same technique to my list from this contest, and it was a big help in narrowing down my top picks, with Conduit still sittin’ pretty a top the heap of entries!
Conduit in 2007! Vote early! Vote often!
Hey, can I be “Conduit Girl” in his youtube campaign video?
Miss Snark says
Hahahahahahhah!!!!!
DeadlyAccurate says
If my man Conduit doesn’t make it into the finals, I’m taking advantage of the write in campaign and voting for him.
That’s the way I felt about lafreya’s first entry. I really wanted to know the answer to the question posed.
David says
Miss Snark!
She alive! She’s aliiiiiiiiive!
(Crash of thunder.)
Conduit says
The spirit of long gone Empress, Miss Snark, arrives to taunt her successor, Prince Bransford, for the folly of his ways.
Is it just me, or is there something terribly Shakespearean about that?
To Josephine – If there was such a video, yes, of course you could be “Conduit Girl”. Thanks for making me blush!
Nathan Bransford says
Conduit-
You’d think the apprentice would have learned the lessons of the master, but I’ve always been a rebellious sort. I’m honored, though, that Miss Snark stopped by to watch me repeat the mistakes of history.
Marti says
All hail! Miss Snark has made a rare public appearance!
jjdebenedictis says
I wanna be Conduit’s go-go girl too.
*shi-bop, shi-bop*
Other Lisa says
Lots of already dead people but no evil albinos.
I for one am disappointed.
Heather Wardell says
Some people have stretched the “first line” out into really a first paragraph. Will the tasers be applied to these people? (And if so, maybe I could help? I’ve never used a taser… but it’s a life goal…)
Spartezda says
Run in terror, mortals, for the Pink Taser Brigade approaches!
A Paperback Writer says
OH MY HECK!
We actually have been graced by the SNARK MARK!
The poodle tattoos on our arms will now burn until we gather to meet with Our Lady of Snarkiness again. She has returned from the great beyond.
Okay, I’ll stop now.
Still, didn’t the last crapometer have over 700 entries? Really, Nathan, the 293 posts for this contest (as I type) sounds like small change after Snarkdom.
However, as long as we can be free of pregnant chad in the voting here, I will be satisfied.
Nathan Bransford says
a paperback writer-
That is an A+ backhanded compliment. lol.
Josephine Damian says
Alert the media! Miss Snark is back! Please, I beg you! Come to my nit wit crit group and shoot them with the proverbial clue gun!
Deadlyaccurate: I too am a big lafreya fan. Both of her entries were winners, but Conduit is King.
Me and jjdebenedictis are gonna put on our short shorts and shake our groove thangs so that Conduit makes it into the finals.
Other Lisa: My fourth entry was gonna be: The evil albino lay at the bottom of the jelly tank while bubbles from his last breath broke the water’s calm surface.
But I didn’t wanna push the entry number to a Church Lady level so I refrained. 🙂
Dave Wood says
Urp! Now I feel bad about giving you two entries. If you’re mad enough to ever do this again, maybe you should limit it to one entry per aspirant? Give us a taste of our own medicine and make us chose *the* best of our best.
Seriously, Nathan, thanks for the blog. It’s ton of fun.
Lupina says
Enjoying Miss Snark’s evident twinge of masochistic nostalgia…much like seeing a freed gladiator return to witness her successor’s bloodying by the barbarian horde. The sense of continuity is strangely comforting, too.
Chumplet says
Hey, if the rules can change on a whim, cut ’em off now. I say that because I already entered (laughs evilly).
Miss Snark! Clooney Alert! Toronto! Whoooo!
Ello says
Miss Snark! A Miss Snark sighting! She’s alive and laughing at poor Nathan for unleashing the floodgates! I’m betting you reach over 400 by tomorrow morning – possibly even 500 by the end? Unless people start feeling sorry for you…You want I should make them stop (knuckles cracking…)?
But seriously, thanks for doing this. It’s been great fun reading all of these.
Church Lady says
Hi Josephine,
I read these words “Keep on entering the SUFLC” and saw little else. It was almost like Miss Snark saying “Enter as often as you like in the Crapometer.”
Anyway, sorry to all….
Already apologized to Nathan, and offered to remove as many entries as Nathan wants. I think I have 5 in total, and the one about the kitten was a joke.
This is such a great contest. Best of luck to everyone!
Cheers,
JaxPop says
Hey Church Lady – Chill out!!! You always offer good comments – so ya got a bit carried away SO WHAT!! No apologies!!! It’s just cool that everyone is so into it – heck, I’m jealous. I might just have to put the laptop & printer away forever based on the competition that I’m seein’. Glad I don’t have to choose.
Miri says
Hail Snarkmeister! -salute-
Thanks so much for the wonderful blog, Mr. Bransford–it’s hilarious, it’s informative, and it comes with its own homeboy phone. Doesn’t get much better than that.
Be careful that you don’t become one of those unliving entrants you mentioned, though. With this kind of inundation…wowza.
Danette Haworth says
Unbelievable response! Can’t wait for the showdown!
A Paperback Writer says
Sorry, Nathan. I teach junior high. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. sigh.
I need one of those tee shirts that says, “tact is for people with no sense of sarcasm.”
(Look, I get excited about it when I get over 10 comments for a post on my blog.)
Words In Words Out says
Other Lisa,
Your comment doubles as the best first line EVER!!!!!!!!!! Gotta give it when it’s due… 😉
Other Lisa says
Aww, thanks, Words! But isn’t it two lines?
Bernita says
Over 360 entries now and almost ALL very, disgustingly, GOOD!
(why did I bother?)