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Thy dialogue dost sound strange

April 10, 2007 by Nathan Bransford 52 Comments

Dialogue

As I was riding the streetcar to work (you know the ones in the Docker’s commercial where the guy and girl see each other and then they run out to catch up to each other only to find out that they both did the same thing? Those streetcars. I ride those to work. I heart San Francisco).. anyway, on the way to work I was mentally narrating everything that was happening in that sort of mystical/stilted dialect that fantasy writers sometimes use when their characters talk.

Like this:

Streetcar driver: “The morning sun is rising over the misty water of the Bay of San Francsico, and the next stop our transporting vehicle will make is Chestnut Street. Those wishing to depart should signal with the bell of stopping.”
Rider: “It is my keenest desire to depart, and I will pull the bell. There. It was my desire and I pulled the bell of stopping.”
Me: “It has been many moons since I departed on Chestnut Street, but I too will depart at Chestnut since the bell of stopping has been pulled and my legs desire movement.”
Streetcar driver: “The stop upon which our wheels rest is Chestnut Street. The gods deem it so.”

Annnnnnnnnd so on.

Can I get a ruling on this? I have to admit that while that type of language is rather common when it comes to fantasy and I by no means wish to disparage it wholesale… well, I personally have a bit of a hard time with it. On the other hand, maybe some people find it transporting to imagine a world where people talk differently and the language serves a purpose, so maybe it’s just me? Should I drop my bias?

Mini you-tell-me for a Tuesday. How do you feel about this type of dialogue (in its proper context)?

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Art: Conversation in a Park by Thomas Gainsborough

Filed Under: Writing Advice, Writing Novels Tagged With: Dialogue, writing advice, You Tell Me

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alyssa says

    April 17, 2010 at 12:07 am

    There's a huge difference between period/place-appropriate writing and just bad dialogue. Shakespeare flows quite well. Tolkien flows. I think the trick of unusual dialogue is to say aloud every piece of dialogue in your manuscript. If it sounds authentic, even if it's weird, keep it. If it sounds ludicrous, you can't expect to keep ploughing along in that vein.

    Reply
  2. Cinthia McCracken says

    February 17, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    You made me laugh so hard I farted. :O

    Reply
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